I relapsed today

200 days

200 days gone

But I’m stil here

I’m still here beathing

The air doesn’t smell like roses though

It smells like dirt and ash

Im struggling to stay afloat

I need a life jacket

But it seems no one has one

So do I just drown?

No

I need to swim to shore

I need to breathe

Im not done

Im not done fighting

I haven’t lost it all

It feels like it

But I’m still here

Im fighting the waves that are trying to drown me

But I’m still trying to swim to the shore

Gasping for air

I drag myself onto the beach

Putting one foot infront of the other

I finally stand

I wish it was the end

The end of my fight

But its just the beginning

The beginning of surviving

I have a problem with addiction

Popping pain pills when I the chance

Taking handfuls and handfuls of ativan

Addiction

Thats the word

Never thought Id say it

The innocent , the child

That 19 years later

Nearly on her own

Addicted

Not just to cutting now

But now pills

Addicted

Addiction

I a have an addiction

31 day gratitude challege day 2

Hopefully this will help my mindset change since Im not having a good day

What simple pleasure are you greatful for?

Hmm? Writing or audio books. They help me ground myself and destract myself from whatever is going around me. I’ll probably listen to some of my book before I leave for clincicas. The only crappy things about audio books is it cost a lot of money to keep listening.

Just updated chapter 46 of Caius’s Mate. Its a cute one

Go check it out (I seriously hope I have the years right I haven’t looked at the years in 36 chapters 😂😂😂

Check out my new Twilight Fanfiction the first chapter is in Aros POV I’ll also post it on here

https://my.w.tt/rZtgnevIDX

Damn In the last week Ive updated

In the last week Ive writen

My true love chapter Two ⬆️⬆️

Caius’s Mate Chapter 38 ⬆️⬆️

Caius’s Mate Chapter 39 ⬆️⬆️

Aro’s Queen Prologue ⬆️⬆️

Aro’s Queen Chapter 1 ⬆️⬆️

And finally

The Games Chapter 3 ⬇️⬇️

My True love Chapter Two

I hat when wattpad glitches out and you have to delete it and redownload it like 5 times 😒

Caius’s Mate

Chapter Twelve

Part 2

They moved me over to the table. I laid down staring at the ceiling.

I looked over seeing an electric razor. "What's that for?" I asked.

"I need to get to your brain," he said.

"Oh," I whispered.

"I'll make you look beautiful Izzy," he said.

A lady came over to me. "Okay hun, I want you to count down from ten for me," she said.

"Will it hurt?"

"No. No," she reassured me.

I closed my eyes. "Ten... nine... eight... seven... six... five... four... three... two... one..." I whispered. I felt a mask go over my mouth. I breathed in a few times before I lost consciousness.

Caius’s Mate

Chapter Eleven

A lump formed in my throat as I removed the pillow that covered my face. I stared up at the ceiling. "What do you mean we have to talk? What's wrong?"

"Izzy," he paused sitting on the bed. "There was a reason that your mom didn't answer."

"Please don't tell me," I whispered already knowing what he was going to say.

"I'm sorry I really am sorry," he grabbed my hand. "They killed her," he spoke lowly.

I closed my eyes. "Why? She was innocent. She was my mom. How could you  guys do that to her?" I spoke, inaudible.

"Izzy, I'm so sorry. If I could've stopped it I would have," he squeezed my hand.

I pulled it away. "Leave. Please," I whispered losing it. "I want to be alone," my voice shook.

"Would you like me to show you back to your room?"

I shook my head. "I'll go alone," I said standing up, not grabbing my walking stick. I got up and slowly headed back to my room. I tried to avoid everyone. Who knew what I would do if I ever found out who killed my mom. I got back to my room and locked it. I dropped to the floor, not even able to make it to my bed. I curled up into a ball by the door. Breaking down. "This is all my fault. I'm so sorry mom," I cried into my knees. "This is all my fault," I sobbed trying to breathe. I couldn't to anything. I couldn't stand. Nothing. My heart hurt. My chest hurt. Everything just hurts. How am I going to make it through this?

"Fuck you," I yelled grabbed the closest thing next to me, which happened to be Caius's phone that I kept and I chucked it as hard as I could against the wall. I don't care if anyone heard. I don't care if I get in trouble. I probably wouldn't even care if Aro killed me.

I lost control. Rage filling me. I stood up and screamed loudly grabbing the lamp and throwing it making it shatter.

There was a knock on the door. "Izzy? What are you doing?" Alec's room was right next to mine, he must of heard me.

"As if you even care!" I yelled.

"Let me in," he commanded.

"No," I replied.

"Izzy whats wrong?" he asked, worry in his voice.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

I heard the door unlock. I sat against the door trying to keep it shut but he pushed it open.

He saw me and shut the door. A key in his hand. "Izzy talk to me? Whats wrong?"

"As if you don't know!" I yelled

He grabbed my wrists pulling me upright.

"Don't touch me!"

"Izzy you need to talk to me. Or Aro-"

"He will what? Whip me again? Kill me? Fucking let him," I glared not in the mood. "I dont give a shit about that bastard," My eyes cold.

"Izzy talk to me. What happened?"

"What you probably the one? Huh?" I glared trying to move away from him.

"What are you talking about?" he looked at me concerned. His hands still around my wrists.

"Oh you know," I pulled away hard.

"Know what?" he sighs.

"STOP PLAYING DUMB!"

He pulled me to his chest. "Cry all you want. Just don't scream," he rubbed my back.

I tried to push away from him. "Let me go Alec. Just... Let me go," My body trembled. I didn't trust anyone anymore.

"Izzy what happened?"

"She's gone," I cried. "She's gone," I whispered crying into his chest. "She's gone," I said over and  over again.

"Who's gone? Please talk to me Izzy. I can't help you if you don't let me."

"She's gone," I clung onto him tightly, not able go calm down.

He just held me. He cradled my head with one hand and rubbed my back with the other.

"Why did you do it?" I whispered, my voice broke. "Kill her," I croaked out.

"Killed who?"

"My mom. You killed her," I clung on tighter.

His arms got tighter around me. He kissed the top of my head. "Izzy I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"It's all my fault," I held on tighter.

"No. No it's not," he reassured me.

"Alec. Its my fault. It's all my fault. I called her when you guys were gone. Every morning I would call her until I was released. I told her where we were. If I never did that - she would still be here today. It's all my fault Alec," I cried into his chest.

"It's not your fault Izzy," he said.

"It is," I argued.

He sighs and brought me to the bed.

I felt so empty without her. I held onto that one hope that I may be able to see her again. But she's gone. She's dead. I don't know how I'll ever be the same.

He held me close to him.

"Please leave me alone Alec. I want to be alone," I whispered.

"That's not healthy," he sighs.

"I don't care. I need space," I told him.

He sighs. "If you need anything, let me know. Okay?"

I nodded and he let go if me.

I curled up on the bed crying into the pillow. There was so much pain. My heart ached. I knew what I had to do. 

I stood up wiping my tears heading out of the room. I made my way to the throne room. No one was there but Aro. It seemed like he was expecting me. 

"Good afternoon Izzy," he said to me. 

A glare was across my face. "Aro, we need to talk. Right now," I said. 

"What is the matter dear?" he asked, oddly cheery today. 

"I think you know," I said walking up to him. "You killed my mother. Why?" I asked harshly. He didn't reply as quick as I wanted him to. "ANSWER ME!!!" I screamed at him grabbing his arm. 

"Don't tell me what to do young lady!" he glared standing up. 

"TELL ME!!" I screamed. 

"Because your mother knew about us. She came here confronted me. And asked me where you were. She knew all about vampires so I had no choice but to kill her," he said simply.

"But she was a good person Aro!! She is a great person. She was innocent!" I yelled. 

"If someone didn't tell her about vampires she could very well be alive today. Now let me go or I will break your wrist," he said.  

"I'm not scared of you. Not anymore. You had NO right to kill her! I never told her ANYTHING about vampires so DO NOT blame me on this. I am already feeling enough guilt." 

"Darling. I am much stronger than you and I can certainly kill anyone I would like to. You're just a pathetic little human that is only food to us. If you weren't Caius's mate I would snap your neck right now," he said shaking his  head. "Now little girl, you're going to go back to your room and forget that this has ever happened," he said and started to walk away. 

"I'M NOT DONE TALKING. STOP AND LISTEN TO ME," I screamed going over to him grabbing his arm, yanking him around. "You are a horrible man and you deserved to be killed I don't care if your family was murdered by us humans," I glared. 

He turned around immediately. "What did you just say?" fury in his eyes. "Repeat that one more time Izzy," he threatened. 

"I don't give a rat's ass if they got killed  by us,"  I said slowly and carefully. 

His hand balled into a fist. Before I knew it I felt a hard hit in the face. I was knocked to the floor. My eye hurt and my nose began to bleed. 

I looked up at Aro fearing him. 

He picked me up by the shirt. "Don't you EVER... I mean EVER say something about my family again. Understand little girl? I will kill you right then in there. This is your first and ONLY warning," he said, his face close to mine. He then threw me twenty feet across the room. I smashed into the wall, hitting my head. I felt a strong sharp pain in the back of my head. I tried to open my eyes but I passed out. 

.

.

. 

I woke up, the lights were off. I have no idea how long I've been out. I felt something wet. I tried to push with my arms to sit myself up, but there was something trying to poke its way out of my arm. Oh my god my arm is broken. 

I immediately laid back down in the pool of my own blood. Tears falling, my head was pounding, my body hurt. 

"Help... someone help," I cried out weakly. My body shook from pain and fear. 

"Alec..." I tried to yell. 

I saw the door open and the lights turned on. 

Alec ran over to me kneeling down. 

"What happened? Izzy," he gently picked her up. 

"I... I don't know... I don't remember," I cried. "Alec it hurts," I whispered. 

"I know. I'm going to call 911 okay," he said taking out his phone. 

"Hello I have a 16 year old girl here and we need an ambulance now," he demanded. "She's bleeding from her head and her arm looks broken. I think she has a concussion," he paused. He gave the address to them. "Please hurry," he said and hung up. 

I looked up at Alec fearing for my life. "Am I going to die?" tears fell. 

"No, no," he said gently pulling my head on his lap. 

"It hurts," I whispered. 

I know. I know," he said touching my forehead. 

He called someone. "Come on Caius answer," he said. 

"W-Whos Caius?" 

"You're boyfriend," he said hanging up. He then put both hands on either side of my face, keeping my head still. "JANE!" he yelled.

 A blonde girl walked into the room. "Alec wh-" she saw me and ran over to my side as well. "Jane go open the doors. Show the paramedics to here. NOW Jane,"

By the time I opened my eyes the girl was gone. 

"Alec... I'm scared," I cried out. 

"I know Izzy. I'm not going to leave your side. I promise," he said. Tears in his eyes.  

"She's over here," the girl spoke. 

The paramedics rushed to my side. "What happened?" the man asked. There was another lady who knelt down by my side.  "What's your name sweetheart?" 

"I-Izzy," I spoke. 

"Okay Izzy I'm Amanda. We're going to get you to the hospital okay? Do you know where you are at?" 

I thought hard. "N-no," 

"Were going to move you onto the stretcher okay?" 

"Okay," I whispered. Very carefully the two placed me on the stretcher. They put a neck brace on me. 

Alec held my hand gently walking with the paramedics as they got me to the ambulance.

"Can I stay with her?" Alec asked. 

"Yes," Amanda said and got into the ambulance herself.  Alec got in. 

"I'm right here Izzy. I won't leave you," he said. 

I tried to nod. "Sweetie, keep your head still."

"I'm scared Alec," I tears fell down. 

"I know baby I know." 

The ambulance began to move and Alec pulled out his phone calling someone. 

"Caius!" He said. "She's being transported to the ER," he paused. I heard yelling on the other line of the phone. "I don't know what happened Caius. I found her on the floor in the throne room. I-I she's injured badly. I think she was beaten by one of us," he paused. "I have no idea who would've done this to her. Just meet me at the hospital," he said. "Bye," he said and hung up. 

He squeezed my hand, "Izzy Caius is going to meet you us at the hospital." 

I didn't reply. 

I felt a prick in my arm and IV was started.  "What's her blood type?" 

"O-" Alec spoke.

She nodded and grabbed a blood pack, hooking it up to the IV. "We're almost there hun. You're so strong," she said. 

I let out a cry when she moved my broken arm. 

"I have to stabilize it sweetie," she said and I felt pressure on my arm, which caused me more pain. 

I looked at Alec fear in my eyes. 

He squeezed my hand. 

"We're almost there," he said and kissed my forehead.

Safe Haven

Chapter Two

Izzy POV

I woke up the next morning with a yawn. I turned onto my side curling up, warm. 

"Hey," the man said.

I sat up, covering myself with the blanket. 

"Hi," I said shyly. 

"Get dressed please," he said. 

"Can you turn around?" I asked, he didn't need to know about my scars. 

He nodded turning around. Quickly I put the leggings and shirt on. "I'm done," I whispered and sat back down on the bed. 

He tuned towards me. 

"I-I'm sorry that I broke in. I had to I'm sorry," I said. 

I put his hand out motioning me to stop speaking, so I went silent. 

"We need to talk, okay?" he asked. "I need you to answer all my questions truthfully.Is that understood Izzy?" he asked 

I nodded. "Yes sir." 

"Good," he paused.

"Who are you?" he asked. 

"Izzy Peirson," I looked down. 

"Do you live in Italy? Where did you come from?" he asked, watching me carefully. 

"No I don't live in Italy. I came here from New York. I took a plane from New York to Volterra, Italy," I answered. 

"Why?"

"I ran away," I bit my lip hard, my body tensing. 

"Why did you run away?" he asked. 

"I just did okay?" I looked down. 

"Please just answer my question," he sighs, frustrated. 

"Because I was hurt," I said lowly. 

"So you run away as soon as you come in contact with danger?" he asks raising his eyebrow. 

"No. No I don't," I said through my teeth. 

"Then elaborate on what 'I was hurt' means."

"I've had a rough past okay? I was hurt a lot and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to leave or I was going to end up dead," I looked down tears burned in my eyes. 

"Were you abused?" He asked. 

"Sort of," I pinched the bridge of my nose. 

"Sort of?" 

"I don't know what you would call it. It's complicated!" I looked up at him, irritation in my eyes. 

"I'm sure I can keep up," he sighs. 

"I really really don't want to talk about it," I shook my head. 

"Too bad," he sighs. 

"I escaped from the hospital. I have been in the system since I was three, my mother died and I've been in foster care ever since. And every time I go into a new home I always end up in the hospital because they try to kill me. I've been through eleven foster homes and every single time I go into a new home they always plot to kill me. Is that good enough for you asshole?" I looked up at him, tears falling. 

It took him a few minutes for him to respond. "Why?" 

"Because I'm the fucking Devil's daughter," I shook my head crying. 

He took a step towards me, sitting on the bed next to me, putting his hand on my leg. "Hey, take a deep breath." 

"You really think I'm going to take some deep breaths when I just told a complete stranger my life story?" I pushed his hand away. 

"You really think that I was going to let you off the hook? I found you, a girl in my bed. A complete stranger," he challenged. 

"This is different. I just told you that my 'parents' plot to kill me because I was born with this stupid fucking gift."

"Gift?" he asked. 

"You heard me right. Gift. I was born with this stupid ass gift that has completely ruined my life," I glared, hostile. "You know how people wish they could fly or read minds or do something that no other person could."

He nodded. 

"Well I actually have a stupid ability. It's not fun. It ruined my life completely."

"What do you have?" he asked. 

"Telekinesis," she bit her lip. "Are you going to kill me now?" she asked. "I wouldn't me shocked, everyone else has tried."

"No," he said. "I'm not." 

I nodded and looked down. "I'll leave now, I'm sorry I came in. I knew it was wrong, but I was going to die outside."

"You can't leave," he said with a sigh. 

I looked up at him confused.

"You know about us, you know we live here and that is too much. I can't let you go," he said

"So you're going to kill me?" 

"No. But you will be here from now on," he took my hand. 

I nodded, "No more families?" 

"No more families," he nodded. 

I sighed relieved. "What's your name?"

"Felix," he said. 

"Felix, what is this place?" I asked. 

"In time," he said. 

"In time?" 

"You will find out in time, I don't think you are ready for that yet," he said. 

I gave him a confused look. 

He chuckled at it. "Are you hungry Izzy?" he asked. 

I nodded immediately. 

"Come on," he helped me stand up. "I'll get make something for you, follow me."

Safe Haven

Chapter 1

It was a cold, wet, rainy night. I was sopping wet, my hair dripping, my clothes completely drenched. I've been walking for hours, with no rest. I was utterly exhausted. There was nowhere to rest, there was nowhere for me to go. My body shook as the temperature kept dropping lower and lower with each minute that passed by. It was war; me against the rain. The rain just kept pouring down, not caring that I had absolutely no protection against it.

I had to get away, I couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of it all, all the families, moving around. I was just done. No more waiting, no more new families. This is the last straw. The plane landed in Volterra, Italy seven hours ago, I've been wandering ever since then.

Before I came here I was in the hospital, but I left. I wasn't going to risk going to another family. People say that I am the devil's daughter. I was born with the gift of telekinesis. I don't know how. I don't know why. Somehow, it just happened, and that has made my life a living hell.

I've been walking now for seven hours. I really need to find a place to sleep, I don't think I can walk any longer. The skies were a dark dark grey. I'm assuming it was around 6pm.

There was a huge castle like building with a cover over it. Immediately, I headed over there standing under the cover, getting out of the rain. I leaned against the building, my body shivering. I was going into hypothermia. Slowly, I headed towards the door. Please tell me this is unlocked. Shakily, I pushed the door. It swung open.

I entered the building and headed down the corridor. There was heat. It was so warm.

My hair and clothes dripped on the floor, making a trail of water wherever I walked. I made my way over to a staircase. I walked up it. It led to a long hall. There were rooms on either side of the hall.

Guilt. I felt guilt. What am I doing? I just broke into a castle and now I am trying to find a place to sleep. What is wrong with me? You are just doing what you need to do to survive. I nodded at that thought.

I headed down checking if any of the doors were unlocked. No luck. I went down further into the hall. I turned to a door, turning the door knob. It wasn't locked. I entered the room. It was a bedroom. There was a bed, desk, bookshelf, and a dresser. There was a opened door, it led to the bathroom.

I went over to the bathroom grabbing a towel, wrapping it around my hair, trying to dry it as much as possible. Afterwards, I went over undressing until I was just in my bra and undies. I put my clothes on the chair. I didn't want to trash the room because that just was rude. I'll leave in the morning I just need to close my eyes. My eyes focused on the bed. It looked so soft, so fluffy, so warm. I pulled the covers down, climbing in. I covered myself with the blanket. It was so warm. Just how I imagined it would be. As my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep.

.

.

.

Felix POV

Feeding time was over, Demetri and I were walking back to our rooms. I spotted something on the floor. "Demetri?" I asked.

"Yes?" Demetri answered.

"Look," I pointed at the floor. It was wet.

"So what?" Demetri shrugged.

"It's a trail you idiot," I rolled my eyes.

"You think someone is in here?" He asked.

"I don't know?" I sighed. "It's probably nothing."

"Okay detective Felix," Demetri chuckled.

I rolled my eyes and looked at the floor. "Maybe we should follow it?"

"Shut up Felix, if someone is in here. They would get caught and get killed immediately, like procedure," Demetri sighs, "Stop worrying okay?" he put his hand on my shoulder.

I nodded. "Yeah okay."

"You know, you need to get out more. Go have some drinks, you just are always so focused even when you are off duty. Find a girl. Do something Felix," Demetri shook his head.

"I'm not that type of person Demetri," I sighed.

"Well just do it," he paused, "Maybe you will be less of an asshole," he snickered.

I growled at him some.

"Calm it boy," he chuckled.

I flipped him off heading into my room. I opened the door, weird unlocked. Maybe I forgot to lock it. I took a step in closing the door behind me. I tensed as I heard a heartbeat. Very slowly, I turned around to see a girl in my bed.

A girl.

A human girl.

A human girl in my bed.

I walked over to her, I saw her clothes on the chair. They were sopping wet. My head turned towards her, her hair was soaked as well. What on Earth was she doing here? Why was she here? What was she doing in my bed? How did she get in here without getting caught?

I touched her shoulder, shaking it. "Wake up," I said in a stern tone.

She groaned.

I shook her again, harder this time. "Wake up," I said, louder.

She whined some.

I groaned, she can't be that deep in sleep. We've only been gone an hour.

I shook her once again. "Wake up," I shouted.

"Five more minutes," she opened her eyes some.

"No, now" I kept shaking her.

She looked up at me. She was silent for a few moments. "Shit," her eyes widened, sitting up.

.

.

.

Izzy POV

My shoulder was being shaken, "Wake up," A voice called out.

I groaned some, not fully awake.

The male shook me again, but harder this time. "Wake up!" His voice was louder.

I whined not wanting to get up.

He shook me hard, "Wake up!!" He shouted at me.

"Five more minutes," I whined opening my eyes looking at the male who towered above me. I closed my eyes once again.

He kept shaking me, "No, now," he sighs.

I opened my eyes just staring at him blankly for a few minutes, trying to wake up. I gasped remembering what had happened, "Shit." I sat up using the blanket to cover me.

"Who are you," he commanded.

"I-Izzy," I spoke, cringing away from his voice.

"How did you get in here?" His tone was the same.

"I... The door was unlocked," I spoke, looking down.

"No, how did you get in the castle," he glared moving closer to me.

"I... The door was unlocked... I pushed it open and I walked down. I found the stairs and I came in here," I told him.

"And the door was just unlocked?"

I nodded looking down.

"I-I'll leave, I just needed a place to rest, I'm sorry. I was walking in the rain for seven hours. I just needed to rest. I swear I will leave, I didn't mean any harm," I looked up at him.

"Why were you walking for seven hours?" the man asked.

"I... I ran away," I bit my lip.

"Why?"

"Because I did."

"Because isn't an answer," he sighs.

"I just did okay. I was scared so I ran away. I was in New York, but now I am here. I had to find a place to stay or I was going to die. I'm sorry. I will leave," I looked down, upset.

He took my hand. "Stay for the night, okay? We will talk more in the morning. Please be willing to answer questions," he sighs, "I don't want to have to force you to answer."

I nodded, "Thank you," I whispered.

He nodded. "I'll find you a pair of clothes as well," he sighs.

I nodded and laid back down, sleepily. "Thank you for letting me stay. I will leave in the morning, I promise," I whispered closing my eyes, covering myself once again with the blankets. It took me a few minutes to calm my brain down. Soon I was able to drift into a dreamless state of sleep.

On wattpad Ive updated like 3 stories today

Caius’s Mate

The Escape

Mending The Broken

Links are in order of listed

Caius’s Mate Chapter Six Part Two

I wrinkled my nose. "I ain't drinking that pedialyte shit. That tastes nasty..."

He laughed a bit. "Well we want you to drink as much as you can tolerate," he said.

"I'll drink anything but that," I argued.

He sighs and nodded. "We will do IV fluids,"

"When can she go home," Alec asked.

"Hopefully within a few weeks," he said. "We will start physical therapy," he said, "Your physical therapist will help and decide what is best," he said.

"I can walk," I was confused sitting up sore from laying.

"Take it easy," he said.

I looked down. "Im fine," I whispered.

He sighs and nodded and left. I looked at Alec as he took out his phone calling Aro. "You don't have to stay with me," I said looking down. 

He nodded and headed to the hall talking to him. 

I looked down trying to stand up, but I couldn't. I couldn't stand on my own. Sadness filled me. I'm completely helpless.

I winced and laid back down.

A nurse came in handing me a drink. She came and checks my vitals. "I'm still alive," I chuckled awkwardly.

"It's just routinely, I have to check every 30 minutes," she replied.

"Fantastic," I murmured.

She sighs. "Can I get you anything?" she asked.

"Water? Ice?" I asked.

"Sure dear," she said.

"Thank you," I sighed and leaned back and looked at the ceiling playing with my fingers. I got bored and looked around the room. The room was a really nice room. There was a bathroom in the right corner with a glass sliding door. On the other side there was a couch and a chair and a long tall whiteboard that had some information about me. There were flowers drawn on it too. I smiled a bit. These are much nicer than the hospitals back home.

Welcome Izzy!

Age: 16

DOB: 7/6/01

Allergies: None

Nurse: Jess

Limitations: Solid food, soft food

Medication: None

After thirty minutes Alec came in with Aro. I looked at Aro shyly. "Hi," I said.

Aro look down looking guilty. "Hey," he said.

"I'm extremely sorry. I didn't mean to put you in a coma... I was already angry.... and then he came and told me what happened and then that happened. I should've been smarter and you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry. Let me know if I can do anything for you. Or to help you," he said.

I looked down. "Well I acted like a two year old... trashing the room... I'm sorry... I was scared and I didn't want to be there..." I said trying to explain myself.

He sighs nodding taking my hand. "I wanna go home.... can you do that for me?" I whispered.

"No... sweetheart. You know too much..." he said. "You know about us. There's too much evidence on you. I'm so sorry," he said taking my hand feeling bad.

I nodded and looked away tears in my eyes. "Can I call her?" I asked.

He sighs. "No,"

I curled up. Jess coming in bringing me some more water and an ensure protein drink, "Try to alternate from the ensure drink to that," she said.

"Thank you," I whispered taking the water taking a sip shakily trying to calm myself down.

She nodded.

"I'll come and check on you tomorrow alright?" Aro asked patting my back.

I nodded upset.

I laid on my side sucking on the ice. I faced away from Alec not wanting to talk to him. "You can go home... I'm fine... I was fine alone for 18 months," I said.

"I didn't leave you alone for 18 months you know. I was here every day.  Sometimes my sister came instead... thinking you needed a girl to come and wake you up. I'm sorry you had to wake up alone. I wish I was here so you weren't as scared... I come at 10:00 and leave at 8:00," he sighs.

"I didn't even realize I was in a coma...  I wasn't scared waking up alone. I was a afraid of you coming. I didn't want you to hurt me. I didn't want anyone to hurt me...  That's the only reason why I was scared," I said lowly.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Stop saying sorry!" I snapped. "I get it you're sorry. I understand that you feel bad that I was in a coma. But you fucked up. You all did. You all need to learn how to treat people better. Please leave. Go home. Come back tomorrow. I'm fine!" I said stressed out.

He sighs nodding. "Okay," he sighs leaving.

I pressed my fingers against my temples feeling stressed out. I heard footsteps. "What do you want Alec?" I signed.

"Sorry... I'm not Alec," a man said coming in with a wheelchair. "Im Derek... I'm your physical therapist," he said.

"Do we have to do it today?" I sighed.

"Yes," he said and took my arm. "I'm going to help you on the wheelchair so we can go to our physical therapy room," he says taking my arm. I swung my legs off the bed immediately they began to shake as I stood up he helped me take a step to the wheelchair.

"So Izzy, do you live in Italy?" He asked.

"Nope," I said not in the mood.

"Why are you here?" He asked.

"School trip," I popped the p. "But then this happened,"

He sighs. "I was told things happen for a reason in life," he said.

"Like being tortured? Then going into a coma?" I mumbled.

He didn't hear me. "You have to have a positive outlook on life or you won't heal," he said.

"How can I have a positive outlook when I was in a coma for 18 months... and no one will let me call my mother," I sighs.

"I'm sure we can make that arrangement," he said.

"We can?" I asked.

He nodded.

I looked down. "Thank you," I whispered.

He pushed me into a room with treadmills, and other equipment. "Alright," he said. "We're going to try to walk," he said going over to the wall. "So I'm going to help you stand up and I'm going to help you put this belt on. Then we will take it slow.  I won't let go of you," he said helping me up, my legs shaking. He secured the belt around be. With one hand he held onto the belt the other held onto my arm. "Try to take a step," he said.

I nodded and and shaking took a step not able to put all my weight on my legs on my own.

"Take another step," he said.

I nodded lifting my leg taking another step my gripping tightly onto his arm.

Tears filled my eyes as we got only about five feet before I sat down in a chair. I felt my breathing speed up. "How come I can't walk?"

He sighs. "Because you hadn't walked for a year and half... your muscles stiffened and your body shut down and essentially "forgot" how to walk," he said.

I looked down. "Will I be able to walk soon?" He asked.

"Yes... if you believe in yourself and if you are determined to practice," he said.

"Let me know when you are ready and we will go back," he said.

I nodded and wiped my tears, "I'm ready," I said.

He nodded and helped me up. One step at a time I got back to the wheelchair then sat down. "Alright that was amazing," he said putting his hand up.

I gave him a hi five.

We headed back to my room. "Tell me your biggest dream," he asked.

"I want to become a writer and publish a book one day," I looked down.

"Well Izzy. You can do it. I feel you are strong willed and you can do it. And I will look out for that day that your book gets published and I will be the first person to buy it," he said supporting me.

"Thank you," I said smiling.

We got back to my room and I got to the bed and laid back down.

Caius Mate Chapter Six Part One

IZZY P.O.V

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18 MONTHS LATER

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I opened my eyes trying to sit up. Where was I? What happened? My whole body was completely stiff. Am I dead? I looked over at my arms, there were IV's in my arms and tubes coming out of my stomach. I tensed up immediately. I looked around the room beginning to panic. I was in the hospital, but I saw no one there.

All of a sudden a monitor went of. I pulled at the wires attached to me. Wait. I could hear it. I could hear the heart monitor beeping. This is impossible.

A doctor rushed in. I looked up at him.

He came over to me seeming shocked. "Hey calm down," he used sign language to communicate with me. He spoke as well. But I could hear him just fine.

I looked at him completely in shock. Never in a million years I thought this could happen

"Breathe," He signs.

I took a deep breath leaning back against the bed.

"I.... I can hear," I looked in shock.

"You can hear?" He said confused. "Your charts show you..."

"Are deaf.. I know. I know. I was. I can hear," I said listening to my own voice.

"You can talk..." he said.

I looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"You were in a coma for 18 months... you're organs were failing," he said. "We didn't know how much longer you would last."

"What?!" I gasped in shock. "No that's impossible,"

He sighs sitting down next to me. "I know it's a bit much to take in," he said sitting. "Can you tell me what was the last thing you remember?"

I looked down. "I don't remember.... I collapsed... and then I woke up here... I.... it... I... I was out for 18 months?!" I gasped.

He sighs. "Yes," he said. "Do you remember what happened do your back? Did someone hurt you?" He asked.

I looked down tensing remembering what happened. I nodded once.

"Who hurt you?" he asked taking notes.

"A man," I whispered my mind foggy. "They kidnapped me. They wouldn't let me go. I screamed and they... they hurt me," I whispered.

He nodded. "Where did they take you," he said.

"It was a castle... I went on a tour for school... my friends. They are all dead. These people killed them. They bit me... and drank my blood. I turned around and and they were all dead. Everyone... I don't know. There were some... vampires," I breathe heavily.

"Calm down," he touched my arm. "I'm going to get you something to calm down," he said.

"Please call my mom. I want my mom," I whispered my body shaking.

"The number we tried was dead. Do you have another number?" He asked.

"My phone..." I said.

"You were found naked," he said looking down.

I breathe heavily panicking. "I'm going to call Alec... alright," he said.

"NO!" I cried out.

He paged a nurse who came in with some medication and put it in through my IV. "Alright Izzy. Calm down sweetie," the nurse said taking my hand. "You're okay," she said.

I breathe heavily. "Don't let him come..." I looked up at her with fear in my eyes.

I began to feel very groggy, and I struggled to stay awake. The nurse held my hand until I fell asleep.

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I woke up looking over Alec by my side.

"Hey," He said gently taking my hand.

"G-go away," I said looked at him.

"No..." he sighs gently squeezing my hand. "Im really sorry," he paused. "I shouldn't have done it," he whispered. "Aro feels bad too," he said. "But I should've known it was too much and shouldn't have done. It this is all my fault," he said feeling horrible.

I looked at him. I don't think you can bullshit an apology like that. It took me a moment to respond.

"Did you understand that?" He asked.

"Shut it. I can hear..." I looked at him. "I just don't know how to respond."

He looked at me. "Wait you can hear?"

I nodded. "I woke up and I could hear," I looked down.

He sighs and the doctor comes in. "Alright how do you feel today?" The doctor came over checking my vitals and other things.

"Fine.... Stiff... Sore," I said.

"Alright. We are going to take your feeding tube out. You're going to feel some pressure and a pulling sensation. There shouldn't be much pain. It may feel uncomfortable," he said, touching the tube that was entering my stomach.

I nodded and squeezed onto Alec's hand as he pulled out the tube carefully, stapling up the hole. I winced not liking the feeling.

"Alright. All done," he said.

I nodded.

"Alright. We are going to start you on a liquid diet for two weeks. Then see how you tolerate soft foods for two weeks. Then see if we can start some hard foods," he said.

I nodded. "Like smoothies?" I asked.

"More like Ensure, protein, and pedialyte," he said.