Rough fucking night

Some of you know that I run a kink shop, its very hard find the items I need in the US so I typically have to over internationally. I buy from rearz.inc never had a problem until today. I got a letter in the mail today saying I had a 1,000$ customs fee. The company fucked up and wrote in customs that I bought 4,000 items which I only bought 49 items and my total was 116$ so now Ups is charging me 2,000$ for custom fees which I already payed when I ordered from them. I finally stopped crying, I am not paying this because Rearz fucked up on putting quantity of products in there and its super stressful thinking I may have to get a lawyer for this if they refuse to correct this.

For people who ship/buy internally has this happened to you?

I feel so invalided today. I wanna break my finger and hurt myself so bad. I am frustrated because someone I know is refusing treatment for IIH and people are seriously twisting my words when I just needed to vent because I am upset. People don’t understand why I am frustrated and Ive explained it many times that this person is refusing treatments and getting a spinal tap twice a week. The reason why it frustrates me is that it took 6 years to diagnose me and Ive fought hard to be diagnosed. Amd thats so upsetting for someone to refuse treatment especially for this condition. People twisted my words (picture) like I never said that because she got treatment faster and since “i didnt get it in this time period she shouldnt either” this is a fucking support group for IIH you think they would he supportive but instead everyone is attacking me because I said im frustrated that someone is refusing treatment. Now all I want to do it hurt myself because I feel so invalided. Like my friends agreed with them. It feels like I cant have feelings anymore.

I just got done crying. I had to choose an extra 5 hours of work or going to therapy. Im only working 14 hours a week and its really hard because I used to work 40 and Im going to school too so it was hard to cut my hours. But so I rescheduled my therapy and Im pretty fucked up in the head I mean. I cant go 3 months without therapy I did that and I started cutting again and so Theres no appointment until the end of MAY and I need to go to therapy like so Im super upset about it because its hard to go three months without therapy when youre stressed, overwhelmed, on a mania then a depression. It’s difficult. Ive only seen my *new* therapist once and I could tell from the beginning it wasnt going to work out because she wanted to do therapy once every six months. Im used to going to therapy once every 2-3 weeks and to gave it go from once every 3 months that shit just doesnt work so. I think I’m going to try to get a new therapist because this just isnt going to work out

Addict

An addict

Thats what you are

One pill turns into two

Two into four

And it only grows more and more

You ask for a pill

And I say

“Okay, but just one,”

After a few hours

“Can I have another,”

“Let’s share”

And I say

“Fine, just one more,”

By day two

Five are gone

I get some oxy to replace the pills that I have lost

Two days later

You cut me off

“You’ve had enough,”

Ive had enough?

Says the person who is stealing my pills

You use them to get high

These are my pills mom

Not yours

“How could you blame me for stealing,”

“Well thats what you’re doing,”

“They’re mine not yours,”

“Well they were given to me,” I say

“Well I want to have fun,”

“Well I use them because Im in pain,”

Mom you’re so selfish

I just had surgery

And you’re taking my pain pills

This is a low for you mother

You’re an addict

So go get help

Stop asking your daughter for pills

And stop being an addict