Quite Miss Home

Summary: The Bunker offers many comforts of a home, but Y/N’s home lies in the arms of the man that soothes her tattered soul.

Warnings: feelings/thoughts of depression, comfort fic, fluff-ish.

W/C: 1.1k

Rating: M (mature 16+)

Song & Artist: Quite Miss Home - James Arthur

Characters: Sam Winchester, fem!reader (she/her - no descriptions of ethnicity or body type.)

Pairing: Sam Winchester x fem!reader

Betas: @deanwinchesterswitch - thanks for the summary too 🥰

Shout out: I think @slytherkins and @firefly-in-darkness have taken a look at some point.

Graphics: pictures found on Home Of Nutty - screen grabs from season 13, episode 4. Dividers: @firefly-graphics

A/N: I was looking through my google docs and found this completed fic that I started in December 2019. Not sure why I never posted before, probably a casualty of my overthinking. So here it is.

Master Lists: Main // Sam Winchester //

Quite Miss Home

Y/N watched Sam from across the room. She missed him, though they hadn’t been apart. There hadn’t been a lot of time for intimacy. It seemed that by the time he and Y/N dragged themselves to bed, they only had enough energy for a simple kiss before they both passed out. No quality time, none whatsoever.

The last few weeks had been busy. Aside from hunting, they’d been assisting the people from the alternative universe. Helping set them up in the bunker or find places of their own -- for those who wanted to go it alone -- teaching them how this new world worked.

A rare moment of peace presented itself, the bunker’s quiet, so Sam took the opportunity to read a book he’d been meaning to get around to for months. Not for any other reason than the Greek Mythology interested him, it didn’t relate to any cases; he needed the downtime, purely leisure purposes.

Depressing thought (personal rant)

So I just got a compliment but the more I think about it it’s super depressing.

So my mom’s best friend, Josie, has asked me to be the executor of her will and given me power of attorney, so I can make end of life decisions etc. She’s not dying or anything, she’s only 58 but she’s retiring so getting her affairs in order or whatever. She’s single, never married, no kids, and is closer to us than her actual family so it makes total sense. I’ve always seen her as the fun aunt, living the best life but in all honestly she always seemed desperately lonely.

Anyway she said she loves me for the woman I’ve become and all the things I’ve achieved, she admires how self aware I am and that I know what I want from life (read as I don’t want kids and that’s a brave decision - apparently 🙄), and she’s glad she knows someone responsible and trusts me with everything. Which is kinda beautiful and a nice ego boost but then she proceeds to say “your a lot like me!”

And now I’m just like 😕 that’s a depressing thought. But the more I think about it, it’s true.

When I started the process of buying my 🏡, my best bud, Chloe, was more excited than me. She was like we can have dinners and parties and get ready at each other’s houses and have sleepovers etc. Then she met her new bf, who’s totally lovely and I knew I’d take a backseat which is fine, new relationship and all that. But now they’ve moved in together, getting a puppy and she’s pregnant 🤰. I’m super happy for her. It’s all she’s ever wanted. But as sad as it is to say I know our friendship will fizzle out. She’ll find new people that relate more to her and whatnot. My other closest mate has also met someone new and he’s moved in and they’re getting married.

So I’m sat here thinking I’m the Josie of my friend group and going to end up lonely and asking my mates kids to make decisions for me.

When One Door Closes...

Summary: The aftermath of the confrontation. How will they deal with it? Will their friendship survive or has the door been closed? 

Warnings: angst, language, self-hatred, talk of depression, Bucky is a bit of a dick. 

W/C: 2.9k

Sequel to Behind Closed Doors

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Reader, Steve Rogers (mentioned), OC’s. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC (mentioned), Reader x OC.

Notes: First person POV. @firefly-graphics​ made the dividers

A/N: A few people wanted to know what happened after so here it is. Split into 3 more parts.

Betas: @firefly-in-darkness​ // @petitgateau911​

Master Lists: Series // Main

I’m running late. So freaking late. But the ribbing I’m about to take from my group of friends has me smiling widely as I walk into the diner. Nat, Wanda, Bucky, Steve and Sam are at our regular table and as soon as I turn the corner Sam spots me over Bucky’s head.

“Look who it is,” Sam teases, calling across the room, “Miss ‘I never miss a workout’.” 

I roll my eyes and shake my head, even though he’s right, I did say that. Bucky joked that I wouldn’t make it to the gym after a night out. I was adamant that I would, if only to prove him wrong. Though excess alcohol consumption was not the cause as they all clearly assume.

I take my usual spot between Bucky and Wanda. A large cappuccino with chocolate dusting sits waiting, I hug my hands around the mug and lay my head on Bucky’s shoulder thanking him for texting me to make sure I was still coming and put in my usual order for me. He presses his lips to my forehead for a long moment, but Steve clearing his throat startles him, and I feel him jump.

Behind Closed Doors - Mini Series Master List

Summary: Bucky has been ghosting her. Y/N doesn’t know why. The whole thing is slowly killing her, losing her friend, not knowing what she did wrong. When the opportunity arises she confronts him.

Warnings for all parts: angst, cheating, language, mentions of depression, friends to lovers.

W/C: 12k (4 parts)

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Reader, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, OC’s.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader, Bucky Barnes x OC (mentioned), Reader x OC (mentioned).

Notes: First person POV. I don’t know why I just started writing and it happened this way. A one shot turned into a mini series. I guess it could be classed as an AU as I never specify what jobs they do so you decide. 

A/N: I had a dream about someone I should not be dreaming about. I told Manda Panda and she said it gave her Bucky vibes so here we are. 

Part 1 - Behind Closed Doors

Summary: Bucky has been ghosting her. Y/N doesn’t know why. The whole thing is slowly killing her, losing her friend, not knowing what she did wrong. When the opportunity arises she confronts him.

Part 2 - When One Door Closes... 

Summary: The aftermath of the confrontation. How will they deal with it? Will their friendship survive or has the door been closed? 

Part 3 - ...Another One Opens

Summary: Perhaps, it’s time for another confrontation.

Part 4 - What’s Behind Door Number 1?

Summary: So it’s all out in the open. What will Y/N decide? Has Bucky pushed her too far away or can she forgive him?

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is strange with its twists and turns

As every one of us sometimes learns

And many a failure comes about

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow—

You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out—

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell just how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit—

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

I had this poem on my wall for a very long time. When I was in my darkest depression I made it a ritual to read it every morning and night. I don’t know if it helped, but I’m still here fighting so who knows?

I can recite it from heart I read it so much. I checked Google and I got it right even though it’s been a while.

I’ve seen a few people on here who are struggling, and I know there’s probably a lot more that are finding things tough but don’t say anything about it. So this is for everyone, whether your openly struggling or silently fighting your demons, remember...

ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING AND DON’T YOU QUIT!!

Weighted

Summary: Steve’s discovery of Google and a late night search highlights the possibility of him having an eidetic memory - mental images having unusual vividness and detail, as if actually visible. Not long after his discovery, the vivid image of Olivia in his mind no longer matches the woman in front of him; her smile no longer reaches her eyes and he wants to help in whatever way he can.

Warnings: talk of depression, feelings of depression, angst, comfort (I hope), language.

W/C: 1.9k

Challenge: @pinknerdpanda​ ‘s ‘Manda’s Quick & Dirty Birthday Challenge’. #MandaBirthdayChallenge. Prompt: Fake Happy - Paramore - lyrics used are bolded. 

Notes: This Post also helped with inspiration for this fic. @firefly-in-darkness​ made the dividers and helped me with the summary too.

A/N: I’ve fallen into a dark depression; it’s been a long while since I’ve felt like this and I wanted to write something to get my thoughts and feelings out. I tried to write a comfort fic but not sure it worked out that way. The feelings/thoughts expressed are my own and how my depression affects me and those around me.

Characters: Steve Rogers, OFC (Olivia).

Pairing: None. Platonic relationship.

Betas: @slytherkins​ / @petitgateau911​ / @firefly-in-darkness​ // All mistakes are my own.

Master Lists: Main / Marvel

Weighted

Steve Rogers hadn’t been Captain America for very long before he crashed into the ice. The one person, Dr. Abraham Erskine, who could educate him on his new abilities and limitations had been killed before he could pass on any of his knowledge or theories. Howard Stark had done the best he could, but it was basically trial and error to truly understand the effects of the serum. Steve had, essentially, become a science experiment to monitor and test.

After he’d been defrosted, the world had changed so much that he was thankful they no longer wanted to test his abilities. They left him to his own devices and used him as muscle when they needed it. But the internet meant he had an abundance of knowledge and answers at his fingertips that he’d never had before. After a fourth consecutive night of vivid nightmares that left him weary, guilt-ridden, and exhausted, he self-diagnosed himself as having an eidetic memory.

When he read the explanation on Google, it made perfect sense to him. Eidetic memory: relating to or denoting mental images having unusual vividness and detail, as if actually visible.

Accurate!!

It will get better. I know that. But when?!

Tired.

Tired of feeling.

Tired of not feeling.

Tired of feeling too much.

Tired of the world.

Tired of being tired.

So. Fucking. Tired.