why do i imagine the batfam finally meeting the league and then one of them going 'how the fuck do you have so many kids?' and little shit Jason goes 'well, when two people love each other very much...' and because Bruce doesn't wanna listen to this, he tiredly reminds Jason: 'you're adopted' which naturally means that Jason is going to dramatically pretend that this is the first time he's heard that and how could Bruce keep this from him, much to the horror of the league and the exasperation of Bruce

2d-beefcakes-my-beloveds

#rrrambles #tbh it could be done with all of the batkids #but it just felt like jason to me #batfam headcanons #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #red hood #jla #reblog

princess-unipeg reblogged

many-fandom-yayness-blog

Dick Grayson headcanons

•falls asleep in the strangest positions so now his neck and back are all deformed so he started wearing turtle necks to cover it up

•Alfred noticed this and MADE him get a brace, like it or not

• helps Alfred with the chores

•loves everything strawberry flavored. Ice cream, pie, cupcakes. Strawberries are his favorite thing, and sometimes when he can’t sleep he’ll run downstairs and eat like half a pack of strawberries

•Alfred notices this and makes it a note to leave him a stash in the back of the fridge

• the bump on the back of his neck that he got from sleeping weirdly has only gotten bigger and actually hurts

• it only got bigger because he was bending it to do a lot of different gymnastics moves, and Alfred picked up on this and nagged Bruce into giving him orders not to do gymnastics until it cleared up but Bruce is secretly too much of the “I love you” parent, so once he realized that Dick didn’t have any grounding and was really anxious all the time, he gave him his gymnastics privilege back (to Alfred’s disappointment)

•Starfire is intimidated by Bruce’s occasional glare and altogether coldness and rudeness towards her whenever she visits the manor, and Dick has to repeatedly tell her that it’s just the whole “you took my son away from home and oh my god he’s growing up too fast for me where did my little boy go?” Routine

• Nags Damian into using his assassin abilities to steal Alfred’s bowl of cookie dough so that Dick can eat it all and then put the empty bowl back, but he only does this when he’s low-key angry, because he knows for a fact that NOTHING gets by Alfred, nothing.

•he was right. Damian has a 0% chance of not getting his ass kicked by Alfred. And Dick secretly likes it because again, he’s annoyed

• Sings the entire lion king soundtrack and the little mermaid soundtrack while on patrol and it drives Bruce CRAZY

• loves Disney and hates Marvel (duh)

#dick grayson #damian wayne #batfam headcanons #batfamily headcanon #batkids #batman #headcanons #robin #nightwing #starfire #reblog

princess-unipeg reblogged

galahadwilder

Imagine a DCU where Bruce Wayne’s OCD is public knowledge

Bruce Wayne insists on four or five redundant background checks on every new hire. The Wayne Corporation knows you used to be a henchperson. The Wayne Corporation does not care, as long as you show proof you are getting—or at least pursuing—help. They are willing to provide that help.
Bruce Wayne personally knows the names and families of every person who passes through his building’s doors. This is not strange. Neither is the fact that he greets people like old friends even if they’ve never spoken before. People he knows cannot hurt his family.
Nobody comments on the fact that he twitches a little whenever anyone who works for him calls him “Mister Wayne” instead of “Bruce”—they all understand that “Mister Wayne” is and will always be Thomas, and Bruce still sees gun barrels sometimes.
Bruce Wayne publicly knows how to treat bullet wounds and repair and use medical equipment. He is constantly found reading and rereading medical journals. His parents were shot and he and his children keep ending up in the hospital. It makes sense that he would have this knowledge even if he never personally needs it.
Bruce Wayne clenches and unclenches his hand with a horrific cracking noise every time a gun enters his presence. Polite socialites remove all guns from the decor when planning parties. Impolite ones will invariably find said guns disassembled in their garbage cans after one of Wayne’s children was spotted near the gun and then vanishing from sight for about fifteen minutes. Wayne himself always avoids those areas until the guns are gone.
All of Wayne’s children and their significant others are well-versed in self-defense. Wayne insists on it. This is a not unreasonable precaution; however, the fact that they are all master martial artists instead of just knowing enough to defend against muggers is not remarked upon, because everyone in Gotham knows why.
Bruce Wayne knows every single entry point into every one of his buildings, including several that are not on any maps or blueprints. Wayne Enterprises buildings have some of the tightest security in Gotham. This is not unusual.
Bruce Wayne privately and anonymously donates in large amounts to various Gotham mental health organizations. Everyone knows it’s him, but nobody mentions it.

Add your own Headcanons!

#batman #bruce wayne #ocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #batfam headcanons #original content #reblog

princess-unipeg reblogged

Some Starfire and Dick love!!!

princess-unipeg reblogged

holyheadcanonsbatman

Anonymous asked:

Batfam babysitting Mar'i headcannons? Pretty please

holyheadcanonsbatman answered:

-I can imagine Jason being really good with small kids, like he knows exactly how to get a kid to stop crying when everyone else had failed to stop the incessant wailing, so he’d be really good with Mar’i when she’s a baby

-Bruce would always take Mar’i to the park when he had to babysit her and so there are tons of tabloid photos of Bruce pushing a stroller with a content little Mar’i all bundled up inside

-Tim would be better with Mar’i once she could talk and he would make up all sorts of stories to tell her. He would do all of the silly voices and tell of the brave knight princess Mar’i who saved King Richard from the clutches of the dreaded bat-dragon that was mad at him for breaking (another) vase

-Damian wouldn’t be left around Mar’i alone; it’s not that Dick didn’t trust him to watch Mar’i, he just didn’t want her to learn how to throw knives before she could speak on the off chance that she could accidentally kill herself

-Steph and Cass would have tea parties with Mar’i once she gets into the typical princess stage where they would make cookies (and wreck the kitchen to the dismay of poor Alfred) and set up a table and drag the boys into joining them. Then they would paint nails, the boys’ nails to be specific. Dick totally rocked the bright fuchsia Mar’i chose for him, though Jason was a bit grumbly about the sparkly yellow Steph chose for him (”couldn’t it have been red at least, to stick with the whole “RED hood” thing” “shut up and let me paint your nails”)

-Duke and Damian would teach her how to play video games like Cheese Vikings and the classics. She would eventually become a master at Mortal Kombat under the tutelage of Duke

-basically everyone would have an activity that would keep her occupied and stationary so they could have a rest but still make sure Mar’i is having fun

princess-unipeg reblogged

galahadwilder

Do you think Bruce ever just forgets how many children he has? Like, okay, he has the six children he’s adopted, five sons and a daughter, but then there’s Terry, and the two Helenas, and is Barbara his daugher-in-law, he distinctly remembers going to the wedding but it may have been wiped from history for all he knows, how the fuck does Stephanie fit into it, which one of his sons is Starfire with at the moment, and then there’s Selina’s adopted kids–Holly and Karon–and she keeps calling the cats her children, like that isn’t confusing, and just WAIT FUCK HE FORGOT ABOUT HARPER

Point is, everyone thinks he only takes 3-hour sleeps because he needs the time to be both Bruce Wayne and Batman. Truth is, he needs all that extra time to keep track of all of his children.