Okay I was joking before about being gay but I feel like wanting to stay in a world where she can be whatever Pauline needs is pretty damn gay.
But, jokes aside, this world is so much easier for Norma. Think about it. It’s all a set. The sounds affects, the voices, the lights- it’s all controlled. Norma can settle into a world with far less chances of anxiety, or surprises, or sensory overload. The Norma in this world was hugged by Pauline Phoenix and it didn’t send unpleasant shudders and panic down her spine. It’s the wonder of a controlled environment without the added displeasure of all the people running it.
I get it. Watching TV is a kind of like that. Things are a lot easier on TV. Even hard situations have clear-cut endings. And rewatching episodes is the comfort of knowing what someone will say, when they’ll say it, and with what inflection.
But it’s not real. And this Pauline isn’t real. You don’t need a soundstage to be happy. You’re happy with your friends- you’re happy in a strange, confusing world full of strange, confusing things. A world where you can be Norma Khan, and sit quietly beside them without fear of being judged, or saying the wrong thing, or being touched.
It’s time to go home, kiddo.