you gotta moan and tell her nasty little things right into her ears in between kisses when you fuck her.

“but there’s no reason for this character to be gay” do u think irl gay people are gay to advance a plot dude

are u ever so touch-starved u think abt a kiss n feel ur guts turning

hang on i have to respond to this

My favorite part about 1931 Dracula is that there are armadillos running around Dracula’s castle.

Look at this it’s like they couldn’t find any rats so they just were like “eh close enough no one will notice”. But I noticed. I noticed.

“WE NAILED IT BOYS”

Apparently in the 20s and 30s, armadillos weren’t very commonly known, so moviemakers would use them wherever they needed some creepy, ‘demonic’ animal running around. So there were a lot of armadillos in early filmmaking, and it was often people’s only source of reference for armadillos.

Fast forward twenty years to when the father of the biology professor who told me this is driving out from the east coast to see his son in California. Crossing the southwest at night.

An armadillo runs across the road. 

He comes to a screeching halt and the Thing Of Evil, which he never knew was actually a real animal, trots the rest of the way across the road and vanishes into the desert.

Apparently it shook him up rather a bit.

@mortalityplays

Ok but what about Dracula’s Bee.

A single, solitary bee with his own tiny custom-built coffin. 

Nobody ever talks about Dracula’s pet bee.

I laughed at this for a solid 5 minutes

This post manifested demons into my home

YOU HAVE THE SAME FUCKING FACE.

Somebody give me creative reigns for a TV show. Picture this - Elvira and Dolly Parton starring side-by-side as twin sisters, both witches from humble roots. They’ve each lived wild lives independently and with a little huffy hostility towards each other, following different paths to become powerful enchantresses. As they reach old age, they realize the only thing they can’t replace with magic…. is family. 

This is the greatest day of my life.

me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare