PrinceOfUchiha

So like if Kakashi was dropped from the ANBU and moved to be a Jonin instructor when Itachi left the village. That was a good 6 or 7 years before the start of the show.

And all I can imagine is the hokage going "Be a teacher" and watching 20 year old Kakashi proceed to go Get Fucked Hiruzen I'm Not Doing That and fail every fucking group he's sent for half a decade. Not like Hiruzen will do anything about it anyway.

Kakashi being a Jonin Instructor In Theory for +5 years is just. So funny to me.

Love every few months where I get randomly possessed by Itachi.

(I've had 4 BLT egg sandwiches today. I want another. It's 10am.)

Love the implications behind Itachi’s "I've only been PRETENDING...MOLDING myself into the kind and gentle elder brother you thought me to be..." or whatever speech like he was six holding Sasuke going. Oh imma get him. Imma get him good. The long con starts NOW.

Baseless headcanon that developed years ago in a Tobiizu RP and has refused to leave me since:

Something about Izuna just. Screams hunter to me. Like. I can't imagine a world in which he isn't the head of the Uchiha clan's hunting party. In which he doesn't clear his head by wandering into the forest and finding meat to bring back to him clan. Something about him just really gives me that impression.

I don't think I've ever done anything more naruto-coded than getting too caught up in my work out and managing to pull a muscle in both my thighs at the same time like the absolute idiot I am

Itachi lets his crows sleep in his cloak it's canon Kishimoto told me

Sasuke may not show a shred of respect for his teachers but he'll be DAMNED if he's going to be rude to Nekobaa and I love that for him sm.

I need more of her. I forget she exists periodically but it's always a surge of joy when I do.

She's grumpy and she loves both her grandkids your honor <3

Fix it fic where pre-massacre Itachi ends up in the past post-Izuna death. Itachi realizes Madara super was not as cold towards his brother as the history of their clan makes it out to be and is like. Pooling all the information he'd gathered in trying to understand the village vs clan feud, he decides. If he can't make it back home to help the tensions. He will simply try to cut it off at its base. Que 12 year old Itachi making the best of the single photo he keeps in his wallet of Sasuke. Itachi, appearing mysteriously during the founding of the village (Though either the timeline for when Izuna dies would need pushed back a bit for this or Itachi would need to adjust the hell out of his appearance to make himself look as young as he could possibly get away with. Possibly a really strong hinge or him somehow getting his hands on a beta version of one of Tobirama's questionable experiment scrolls - deaging etc etc), dropping to his knees in front of Madara. Claiming to be the illegitimate son of Izuna, hidden out of fear that he would lose his life in the war. Him explaining that Izuna had him hidden away with his mother and brother until recently - deep in the mountain. But that they had both perished and Itachi didn't know where to go but to his uncle that his dad spoke so highly of 🥺 and to the village his dad wished would work but just didn't believe would 🥺 but look at it now, so amazingly built 🥺 his uncle is so amazing to have been able to pull it off 🥺look at this photo of a mini Izuna in his wallet that was once his own little brother 🥺 feel a connection to him and keep your ass right here 🥺

Nagato, probably: Yeah sometimes your employees just kill each other. It's just part of running a business.

Konan: Okay but it's been the same guy like. Six times now. You don't think maybe we should,,, idk,,, talk to him or,,, put him on probation or cut his pay or literally anything,,,

Nagato: ...You're right, we should get him an immortal partner! That way when he tears them apart it's easily handled without all that new hiring mumbo jumbo. This is why you're my #1 Konan, great thinking

Konan, going through all the stages of grief: ...Thank you, yeah, okay.

In YuGiOh when the one guy. Breaks into Yugi's body's consciousness and find the split doors leading to Yugi's soul room + Yami's soul room. That's something I think about so often in correlation to other characters from different shows. Like. I want to see Sasuke wonder into Itachi's soul room. Or Obito and Kakashi stuck sharing one bc of their eyes. I just think it'd be so neat. It sounds like peak sharingan shenanigans.

Hashirama and Tobirama's first time being reanimated vs their second time is just

Zombie Apocalypse vibes vs Wuxia Novel vibes

One of the most bittersweet / morbidly funny parts about writing Itachi fanfic is how little anyone reading trusts me to give him a honest to god victory. Every time something goes well for him I get a barrage of comments / DMs going "That went too well I don't trust it :I" or "What's the catch you sick fuck" like shit who hurt you guys

Me, writing Tobirama talking about love in a fic: Idk man...it just feels kinda weird man...like ooc...he can't say the word love...gag...

Canon Tobirama, pausing in his ten minute speech on the power love holds over the human uchiha heart: bitch fucking what

The universe is conspiring against me /j Me, getting teary mid fanfic chapter: Fuck, I need a break. I can't be stuck explaining to my friend that I'm a blubbering mess over Itachi Uchiha at six in the morning. Me, opening tiktok and immediately seeing the clip of Neji getting his brain turned to fucking mush by his uncle: Fucking what have I ever done

For a hatake!Tobirama au I think it'd be incredibly funny if he and Kakashi knew each other and were like. "Yeah no this is just how we interact. Nothing weird here." but any Hatake could tell from a mile away that they had accidentally become pack / imprinted on each other as family