So... I think anyone whose seen me post recently can guess where im going w/ this but uh... Sanders sides pokemon au anyone...?

(So far all im rly decided on is that Logan is a shiny lucario and Patton is a normal, if abnormally cheery and friendly, lucario and that they've been practically inseparable since they were riolu. They wont allow themselves to be caught by any trainer that isnt willing to catch them both and keep them together indefinitely. Romantic Logicality? Romantic Logicality.)

Then again it doesnt rly *have* to be patton, it just felt like it fit. I just rly want Logan, the shiny lucario thats a bit on the small side, and his larger normal lucario friend/brother/lover ready to throw down w/ other pokemon at a moments notice to keep Logan safe lol

Also, another idea I had was the creativities as twin charizards(actually from the same egg/nest, but one is shiny. Perferably remus, because a shiny charmander becomes a badass grey charizard instead of its usual firey orange/red, but the preevolutions are only differenciated by a slightly duller orange, which feels fitting for remus ig? Plus twins with fire equals chaos lol)

(That and i can totally see remus being infatuated w/ Janus who is an entirely different pokemon and literally 100% uncaring of it lol)

Ooh, I love these! What do you think Janus and Virgil would be? I could see them being another piar of the same Pokemon, but I'm not sure what Pokemon they would both be if that was true...

There are a few options for that alone, but idk yet if id be thrilled to do 3 sets of the same 2 pokemon instead of 6 pokemon(even if I was the one to decide on twin charmanders, but to be fair, whether patton is a normal lucario or some other pokemon is still slightly up in the air in all honesty for that reason)

But some ideas were vulpix(Janus) and alolan vulpix(Virgil), or Gallade(Virgil) and Gaudivoir(Janus).

Its smyh im still doing research on bc there are. So many pokemon

Hope you don’t mind but I’m a certified Pokémon crazy person and I have so many thoughts.

No listen, kanto & Alolan Ninetales works so well for Virgil and Janus since in universe both of these Pokémon can be so petty and cruel to everyone but they’re trainers. Like Kanto ninetails have literally cursed the shit out of ppl for touching/tugging on their tails and if that’s not so similar to how Janus immediately came for Roman’s whole blood line at the end of SvS Redux. Alolan Ninetales can also be cold and cruel and have killed ppl to protect their Vulpix cubs and that works for Virgil protector of the mind scape.

Additionally could I get you to consider Eevee brothers Janus and Virgil that evolve into Umbreon and Espeon? Like either evolution could work for either side; it’s perfect. Since umbreon fits Janus’ color scheme and they’re also poisonous for some reason and has such snake vibes. And you can only get an espeon with high friendship during the day and if that’s not the perfect analogy for how Anxiety is converted from a Dark to Light side. But the opposite can also be true since an alternate shiny Virgil umbreon getting dark purple markings instead of the traditional electric blue. Umbreon is literally a dark type Full filing Vee’s need to still be an edgy little shit but only after he’s been showered with love and affection and learning to work with Thomas instead of white knuckling the wheel. And Espeon is the perfect example of a smug af regal cat fox thing and if that’s not Janus’ whole vibe I don’t know what is.

....u are absolutely selling the eevee brothers bit so well lol

Some of the only reasons i was trying to avoid the eevees is bc I'm 100% obsessed with all the eeveelutions(to the point that I literally made a rule for my current save file that i wasnt allowed to have any on my main team list bc i knew i was never gonna get the whole pokedex, which is my current goal to get the shiny charm, if i didnt force myself to explore all the other pokemon available to make new favorites lol) and secondly because theres already and sanders sides au w/ all the sides as eeveelutions amd i wanna try and branch out differently yknow??

At the very least, if i went the Gallade route for Virgil, he'd probably be a shiny as well, and using the same suggestion of changing the blue color scheme to purple or at least periwinkle?

Someone also suggested patton being a legendary or mythical pokemon and i just wanna say yall have no idea how close i was to assigning Patton as a shiny mew or smth xD i lowkey had a strong af togepi named Patton leading my current run for most of the play through, and im trying not to be biased bc uh. Togekiss doesnt exactly keep it’s arms lol.

Ok fair I am also obsessed with eeveelutions.

Final thoughts before I leave you alone and stop bothering you and your fun brainstorming thread. To add on to the Mew Patton train: Consider shiny mew Patton that has been transforming/cosplaying a Lucario so long to hang out with Logan that he kinda forget he was a mew and Thomas’ pokedex couldn’t tell the difference until plot reasons strips the transform off. The heart wants what the heart wants I guess idk.

I don’t know much about the Ralts line because I never have the patience to wait for a shiny stone to explore all Gallade has to offer. But another submission for consideration to the Princeanxious midnight society, breaking the pair rule unfortunately, but like Absol Virgil with his egg brother Zorua/Zoroark Janus.

Need I say more fam? Probably not but I’ll do it anyway cause it’s 1am and I have off tomorrow. Canonically Absols are hated/disliked because people falsely blame them for causing disasters when really they’re jus trying to warn ppl. And Vee got a multi episode arc speeding running an Absol’s existence. (Also I love them because they hit like a truck and one rocking swords dance + metal claw/slash/shadow claw can kill even the thickest opposition.) also a shiny absol is kinda pinkish and if your fine with messing with color palettes we can jus bump that slider over into violet or something.

Janus ‘Deception’ Sanders as a Zoroark writes itself since Zorua and Zoroark are canonically so good at cosplaying other Pokémon and humans that you won’t even notice until you either punch it in the face super freaking hard or it decides to tell you. Like literally there’s an npc in the Unova games that’s a zorua that you don’t even notice unless you happen to have the specific Celebi it’s friends with to make it break character. The line is also really mischievous that they actively go out of they’re way to lie and prank ppl for fun. I mean Janus as a side isn’t the best at pretending to be other sides since he gets called out pretty quickly but that’s a fun quirk baby fox snake boy could have. Being vaguely terrible at his job of illusions until he evolves and gets hella good at it. (He regrets his lack of attention to detail until he literally grows up) And if we run with that other suggestion of Patton being a Mew, the absolute shenanigans that could happen since Janus and Virgil can tell Patton is mew cause dark type or whatever and Jan purposely takes the form of various off color mews in his effort to expose Patton.

Ohhh!!!! Honestly I was indeed considering absol for Virgil, but i didnt know enough about Zorua/Zorark to know whether they'd be a good fit for Janus as well?? (I've unfortunately only truely played a handful of pokemon games, my first being Diamond on DS and then not having any followup till i think Pokemon X & Y, then Lets Go Eevee? and only ever playing solo, so this is my first ever full pokedex run Dx so alot of my external knowledge comes from the bits and pieces of media ive been able to catch here and there unfortunately lol)

But pls I'm absolutely 100% here to hear about possiblities bc honestly im not nearly as well versed in pokemon as i wish i was xD

(Also, please go on about mew and it having a shapeshifting ability??? Mew Patton disguising itself as a normal lucario to spend time with his favorite shiny buddy??? Is that a plausible thing?? Because fricken hope it is??? Not only would that be hilarious and fitting but also completely adorable and I'm 100% on board to go with that??)

Master has given Dobby a sock. Dobby is free to info dump?

Lol but seriously; yes a huge part of Mew’s lore is that it and Ditto are the only two Pokémon that can learn Transform naturally. It’s a major plot point in the Pokémon movie Lucario and the mystery of Mew actually. Transform works pretty standard in the games where your ditto or mew simply takes the form of whatever opponent Pokémon it’s currently facing and gaining all the same moves while I believe keeping ditto/mew stats; and it jus stays looking like that until it gets knocked out.

In the anime and movie universe it’s been proven multiple times that a Mew can change to look like whatever the hell it wants, whenever it wants. Pokedex lore will tell you that it’s because Mew is the ancestor of all Pokémon and thus the Arceus’ version of both Adam and Eve. And since Mew can learn every move in the game you wouldn’t necessarily know it was a Mew unless you saw it transform to begin with. I’m sure there are probably other ways to make Transform fail but the only one I know is fainting the copying Pokémon.

Your desire to have an abnormally cheerful Lucario would work jus fine as Patton being a mew transformed as a Lucario. Mew as a species in the anime seem to be super playful and cheerful 24/7. Hell trainer Thomas wouldn’t even notice if he met Patton and Logan at the same time and was under the impression he had two Lucario since Patton would be able to learn whatever Logan could and some things he “shouldn’t” but egg moves are a thing and Thomas wouldn’t be able to tell one way or the other.

Transform is super different from the Zorua line’s Illusion ability since the illusion only needs a connecting damaging move to bring it down. Also Zorua can only learn moves from its learnset and nothing else so it’s fairly obvious to tell an Illusion from a normal Pokémon just based on the moves it learns.

👀👀👀👀👀 so. I'm 100% going with patton as a (shiny)mew(because, blue) who kinda forgot they were a mew bc they've been chilling as a lucario to be w/ their s/o for so long??

I wanna say that logan has memories of glimpsing a mew way back when he was a young riolu, but it's fleeting and he figures its a distant dream. He makes little connection to the fact that he was soon after befriended by a normal riolu that he eventually became inseperable with. And it just furthers it that their adoration and trust for eachother was what helped them 'both' evolve into lucario.

If and when Logan does find out that Patton is a mew, I think he'd be a lil upset, but in the 'i love you as you are, I wish you would have told me sooner so i could have shown you that by now' way, and only bc Patton is devastated that Logan found out and terrified that Lo wont love him anymore now that he knows?

And thomas is just. In the background mentally like "I.. I have a mew. That is a Mew. I am the trainer to a fucking Mew. Holy shit.''

As for Virge and Jan, im still undecided bc i really like the idea of having a Gallade and Gardivoir (bc im biased and caught both back to back on chance encounters, and my Gallade Eden has been my ultimate false swipe lead in helping me finish up loose ends w/ my pokedex lol) but maybe I can table them for like. Emile and Remy or smth idk xD

It’s Actually Ok To Round Up At Checkout

I keep seeing posts about how you shouldn’t round up your payment at checkout “for charity” because the company takes the money, gives in their own name, and then receives a tax break for the donation.

This is incorrect. It’s just plain wrong information. 

Because it’s illegal for a company to claim collected donations on their taxes, since they give you a receipt that proves you can claim it on yours. They are considered a collection agent – the corporate equivalent of a firefighter with a boot soliciting on the sidewalk.

And the sentiment is potentially fucking nonprofits out of serious change.

So here’s how it works. When you make a purchase you’re asked if you’d like to round up your price, say $22.70, to $23 and give that extra 30 cents to charity. When you choose yes, the company adds that as a special charge, and transfers the amount to a processing company. The processing company disburses many small gifts in one big chunk to the nonprofit, so that the nonprofit doesn’t get ten thousand transactions of thirty cents. Over the course of a couple of years, campaigns like this can raise millions for the nonprofit. 

So where’s the catch? you’re thinking. Capitalism doesn’t allow kindness like this to rampage unchecked!

Well, you’re kinda right. For one thing, there’s something called the Halo Effect, where companies get a huge PR boost from this giving. People feel better about themselves and the place they give, when they give this way. That’s why companies do it, pure and simple. It’s cheap, built-in positive messaging. 

The companies aren’t deducting it (it’d be chump change to them anyway tbh) but you can. You can literally deduct the thirty cents you gave at Jersey Mike’s off your very own taxes, if you keep the receipt. But unless you’re giving more than $6K to charity each year ($12K if you’re filing jointly!) then there’s no point keeping that receipt, because before that threshold you won’t get a tax break for charitable giving anyway.   

One significant benefit of giving at checkout is that the nonprofit doesn’t get your name or address, so you never go on a mailing list. If you give an average of 30 cents twice a week when you buy a soda at the gas station, over the course of a year you’ll have given over $30 commitment-free. Sweet deal. 

Here’s what most people think is the catch: between three and seven percent of the money given goes to that processing company I mentioned. Because they have to, you know, process that money, which comes with expenses like software, customer support, servers, bank fees, etc. 

However. Three to seven percent? That’s nothing. A good fundraiser working for a nonprofit costs, in salary, roughly 20% of what they raise. For every dollar they earn, they bring in about $5 from donors. Round-up campaigns raise $5 and charge you 25 cents for it and require almost no work from the charity – that money just shows up. And even if you didn’t give at the checkout, if you give online we pay a processing fee to the place processing THAT payment. If you give by check or cash, we still have to pay people to count, record, and deposit those payments. Giving money costs money. That’s just the way it is.  

2. Unless you actually are giving elsewhere, if you choose not to round-up, then you’re just…chest pounding. You’re pretending to stick it to the man when really you’re just not making a charitable gift at all. If you do give elsewhere that’s great, keep up the good work, I’m not talking to you. And if you can’t afford to give, I’m really sorry, I want you to keep your money and I’m also not talking to you. As we know, thirty cents adds up. I couldn’t give for several years, and it’s a point of pride now to always be able to hit the round-up button without doing any math. 

But if you could give and aren’t giving somewhere…then no offense but you have no skin in this game and you need to sit down and let people who give a shit get on with their work. 

Because an additional truth is that some people only remember to give when they’re asked but they HATE TO BE ASKED, except at checkout. And some people only give if they feel like they’re giving insignificantly relative to their income – like thirty cents at checkout. These campaigns are nearly-free, super-easy money for us from people who probably wouldn’t otherwise give. They raise our profile, too, so that people who have given at checkout think of us when they DO remember to give (like oh, around the holidays, which are fast impending). 

In the end, I suppose I’m really just begging people, as a whole, for about the seventh or eighth year running, to stop coming to charitable giving from the standpoint of “Well whaddaya give me for it? Where’s the catch? How do I know you’ll do the best with my money? Can you prove you aren’t a scam?”

I know that most of you, most of the time, come to any relationship with an inherent assumption of good faith – from tv shows to friendships to Etsy purchases to pet ownership. You’re not deeply suspicious by nature! But this lingering hostility towards charitable giving, where the immediate assumption is one of bad faith, is really harmful to people who are attempting to do good work. An extremely small fraction of the nonprofits that want your funding are scams, religiously sketchy, or deeply negligent when it comes to how your money is eventually spent. Most are doing their best and many are putting up with a lot of unnecessary fucking side-eye while they do it.

So try to downshift from “Who will scam me the least” to “Who would I like to help the most?” and give accordingly. Whether that’s a local pet shelter, a toy or blanket drive, a national cancer organization, your friend’s top surgery gofundme, or the woman standing in traffic with the cardboard sign. Your blood pressure (and mine too, for that matter) will go way down.

STUFF NOBODY EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT TEETH (and how to take care of them if you are poor and/or depressed)

Contrary to what the US health industry would have you believe, your teeth are NOT luxury face bones. You need them. Healthy teeth are a cornerstone of good health in general for a lot of reasons. You can’t eat well without them. You need them to speak. And tooth bias is real.

This makes me very sad because I love teeth. I am not a dentist. I’m a biological anthropologist whose expertise is oral disease and the evolutionary anatomy of teeth. My dad’s an oral surgeon and I worked in his office from the tender and illegal age of 8 to the ripe old age of 18, which is when I went to college. At 12, I was assisting with the disposal of biowaste, aka packaging up the teeth to send them to dental schools. I live, breathe, sleep, and occasionally eat teeth. I found a human incisor on my floor this morning and wasn’t even surprised. I study how teeth go bad partly so that I can help living people protect the teeth they’ve got. It’s my goal with this post to teach you about a couple of different types of procedures and oral injuries, as well as what you can do to help keep your teeth functional. So in this post, what I am going to do is outline a few common things that can go wrong with your teeth, how they happen, and how to catch them before they get bad. A lot of the advice in this post is for people who maybe can’t get to the dentist for a cleaning and checkup every six months. This post is also gonna be LONG AS HELL and there is going to be a separate post called “luxury face bone hacks for the busy/broke/b’mentally ill” or something like that, so like. If you don’t like super long posts, just hit this one with a like and actually read through that one.

First, let’s talk about dental anatomy.

What Are Teeth?

Teeth are extremely cool. They’re these amazing little packages of dentin pulp, protected by enamel, nestled into the jaw like truffles in a box of chocolates, held in place with a teeny tiny ligament. They’re gorgeous– enamel is a beautiful substance, translucent and opalescent. Teeth are also extremely weird when you think about them. You have these weird not-bone things emerging from holes in your jawbones. They’re snapped into place with a biological bunjy cord and you can actually SPRAIN THEM if you put too much pressure on them.

Here are some important things to know about teeth!

Now that you’ve been equipped with some fun facts, lets talk about diseases and procedures.

Braces: if you’re reading this, you probably don’t need them

First: Pediatric orthodontia is largely a scam. People who put standard braces on their child before that child has lost all of their baby teeth are stupid and causing their child needless pain because those teeth are going to fall out anyways and the alignment of the adult teeth was decided long, long ago. The kids who NEED orthodontic intervention are kids with bad crossbites/underbites/overbites. This requires specialized headgear most of the time and is more intense than the standard braces because they are made to solve a much bigger problem. The standard bracket-and-wire braces? Don’t put those on a child. They won’t help. Also, your kid doesn’t have their third molars yet, and those are the molars most likely to come in twisted anyways.

As an adult, you may want braces for cosmetic reasons or for comfort reasons. This is a CHOICE that is YOURS TO MAKE. If your dentist suggests you need braces, ask why. You don’t have to get them. Now,If you have certain kinds of dental overlap- like, your lateral incisors have been pushed behind your frontals- then yeah, you should get braces. But is it the end of the world if you don’t get braces? No.

Wisdom tooth removal: you might not need it

The human jaw is in a state of evolutionary mismatch right now. Basically, our last molar, the third molar, doesn’t come in until we’re an adult. Unfortunately, thanks to ten thousand years of agriculture, give or take a few millennia, we have much more gracile jaws than our ancestors. There’s not always enough room for it. Now, this isn’t true for everyone, because no two skulls are identical and all, but sometimes there is a condition where you really should get those suckers out. If they are impacted, or coming in sideways, they can push your other teeth out of alignment and cause jaw issues down the line. If they come up straight, don’t worry about it.

Cavities: you need to get these taken care of

Cavities are a pain in the ass and are honestly the main reason you should go to the dentist for checkups, so that they can take the x-ray of your mouth and see how any potential trouble zones are progressing. You should call a dentist and seek help if you notice pain that persists over three days, as that’s an indicator of something more serious than just a sprain.

Tooth Grinding: this is a problem

If you grind your teeth, your dentist may recommend a night guard. Actually listen to them about this. Grinding your teeth can cause major jaw alignment problems that are a pain to fix, so just bite the silicone and suck it up. Also maybe talk to a therapist if you can, because grinding can be a result of stress/anxiety.

Whitening your teeth: bad idea

First off, your teeth ain’t supposed to be white. Enamel is not white. Enamel is translucent and pearlescent, so its actual color is very hard to pin down. Your teeth are naturally going to look more ivory-colored over time. That’s just part of being human and having teeth. Embrace it. You are a badass omnivore with thirty-two gorgeous enamel teeth. They weren’t put in your mouth to look pretty, they were put in your mouth to feed you.

Second: Whitening your teeth weakens your enamel. Once your enamel’s gone, it ain’t coming back, baby. There are some gentler whitening methods, like whitening toothpaste, but these are only going to give you about one to two shades worth of improvement. If you have extremely stained teeth and you want to whiten them, make sure you talk to your dentist about all the risks. Unfortunately, there is no truly safe and effective home-style (read: not a million gotdang dollars) remedy for whitening teeth.

There are a few that are kicking around, but seriously, some of them are dangerous. Do NOT rub wood ash on your teeth. That’s lye. Don’t put that in your mouth. Do NOT use actual bleach, hair dye developer, or non-dental peroxide gel. They are poisonous. DO NOT PUT ACETONE ON YOUR TEETH i have seen this exactly once and the person came into my dad’s office with chemical burns on their gums and lips. I do NOT want to see this again.

It is a misconception that brushing your teeth keeps them looking white. Brushing your teeth removes plaque and biofilm, but those buildups don’t actually stain the enamel itself. Instead, really the only way to keep your teeth looking light is to pay attention to what you’re putting in your mouth. If you’re a tobacco user, vape! Tar is a major staining agent. Coffee’s also a major stainer, and the big trick there is to put a little milk in it. See, enamel staining doesn’t come from the color of the food. It comes from chemical properties. Acidic foods stain because acid damages enamel. Food with high levels of tannins, like coffee or tea, stain because the tannins change the PH of the mouth. So what you should do to avoid staining is balance your mouth PH by eating something basic after eating something acidic. Add a lil milk to your coffee or tea to weaken its acidity just a bit. Swish with water afterwards to help clear the acid. Don’t eat lemons or any other acidic food after drinking coffee. Why would you want to eat lemons after drinking coffee, anyways? Seems like a weird flavor combo to me.

And while we’re on the subject…

MOUTH CHEMISTRY

What’s in your mouth? Your teeth, your gums, your tongue, your spit… yeah, your spit. Saliva’s important. It’s probably THE most important thing in protecting your teeth because salivary production constantly washes the teeth, clearing off as much bad bacteria as possible. If you have an issue with saliva production, you should drink as much water as you can throughout the day, and get a bottle of dry mouth tabs for nighttime. Or daytime, if they don’t bother you. This is really important because dry mouth is a major side effect for a lot of drugs, like anti-depressants. This is actually a huge part of my research- the population I study used a natural painkiller, but in the end its use caused them more pain because the way it works, it decreases the efficacy of the salivary glands. They stop making sufficient saliva, the teeth dry out, the mouth PH changes, and the bacteria that destroy enamel go buckwild. If you can’t make your own spit, store bought is fine. Water for the day, tabs for the night.

Now, you might think that ok, acid isn’t great, let’s eat more basic foods to balance that out. You can, but it… isn’t great. Your saliva is naturally acidic for a reason, and if you neutralize it completely, that ALSO messes with your teeth. You should be drinking plain water as much as possible.

Seltzer and Soda

Some people think seltzer may hurt your teeth, but it really won’t… unless it’s citrus-flavored. Reason: citrus seltzer uses citric acid as a flavoring agent, and that messes with your teeth. So if you want to drink citrus seltzer, drink it with a meal or with food. Don’t sip it slow over the day.

Soda, on the other hand is a goddamn nightmare. The acid’s kind of a problem but the sugar… dear god the sugar. So. your teeth are covered in a bacterial biofilm. Some of these bacteria excrete acid, and that’s what gives you cavities. This is another part of my research- looking at how cavity prevalence changes as sweetening agents and sugar availability changes. As different carbohydrates enter the diet, populations’ disease responses change. I know more about this than probably anybody else in the world, and here is what I know: the best thing you can do for your teeth is stop drinking American soda.

It’s the corn, you guys. The chemical compounds in corn make the cavity-causing bacteria kick into overdrive. Sodas sweetened with high fructose corn syrup create the perfect environment for these dudes to excrete out a storm. Sugary beverages in general promote cavities, but NOTHING does it like sodas sweetened with high fructose corn syrup or any other corn byproduct. Try to limit your soda and juice consumption and if you can, make sure that when you do have them, you’re getting some food,too.

Other Acids

Ok this next part is going to deal with eating disorders. I’m going to be talking about some of the side effects of bulimia, what they can do to your teeth, and how you can take care of them. Eating disorders are serious business and I hope if you need this section you are in supportive recovery and have the love and support and resources you need. If you don’t want to read about what this can do to your teeth, scroll real quick until you seen the big green text.

If your teeth are in frequent contact with stomach acid, acid etching can be a real problem. Your enamel is tough but stomach acid is gnarly, and your gums don’t have that same protection. If you find yourself vomiting frequently, for whatever reason, try to swish water around in your mouth afterwards to help clean it out. I know that’s not the thing that’s likely on your mind after that, but a lot of what we’re doing here is damage control. I’m not here to judge you in the slightest. I’m just here to help you with your teeth.

Do not brush your teeth immediately after vomiting. The enamel is weaker, and you can cause even more damage by brushing too hard. Wait for at least an hour until after you’ve rinsed your mouth to avoid spreading the acid around.

You can also add some (1-2 tsp) baking soda to the water you rinse with, if you feel ok with doing that. It will taste gross and salty but it will help neutralize the acid. You just rinse with this, you don’t swallow.

ok that part is over

TOOTH HACKS

This is the funnest part, I get to tell you good ways to take care of your teeth that require very few spoons and very little money!

That’s… all I got for you now. Take care of your teeth!

dear fiction writers: 

as far as I know, there is no large carnivore who would abandon actively eating a killed meal to chase live prey. chasing and hunting live prey is a risk, as a healthy live creature has the capability to injure a carnivore, or tire it out through the chase. If there is, say, a giant pile of dead bodies to eat, which abandoning would allow other carnivores or scavengers to steal and eat instead, it makes no sense at all. 

please stop doing that thing

The sole exception I can think of is if the large carnivore thought the live prey was another carnivore or scavenger, and was chasing them as a threat display to ensure they didn’t steal the dead bodies. Even in that case, though, it would only be a short, mock charge followed by returning to the pile if the opponent fled. With possibly whatever the animal’s equivalent of “and stay out” would be. 

Another thing: most carnivores don’t like to fight. They have to mug something to death for every single meal, they have to stay in top shape while conserving their energy. Meanwhile, herbivores have plenty of extra energy because they eat stuff that comes out of the ground and doesn’t fight back, and they often live in big social groups, so they’re better at handling stress and more used to having to actually come to blows with other animals to get their way. 

So like, a zebra will try kick your ass just to see what’s up. A tiger won’t do shit unless it’s damn sure it can take you. I’d rather come face to face with a cougar than a stag— have you seen videos of what happens to hunters when a stag catches a dude on the ground? the stag tears the dude apart. Not even to eat him. Just because the stag didn’t like what was going on and decided it was time to curb stomp a motherfucker. 

So if you’re deciding what kind of Big Scary Animals to have be a threat, like, forget wolves and lions and eagles and velociraptors. Go drop in a moose.

This is why loud noise can scare bears away. It’s a threat display that normally convinces them that the charge isn’t worth the effort.

-Exception:  

If a carnivore is Not That Hungry it might drop something dead to chase something that is doing Extreme Prey Behavior– but it’s not going to be serious about it. I’m thinking of things like a domestic cat that chases birds and mice for kicks. Honestly, I think that the t rex in Jurassic Park was a good example of predator behavior– she abandons something difficult (like the kids in the jeep) for the bright shiny thing she has been conditioned to understand means food (tightpants math guy with the flare + gruff dino man with flare). For the rest of the film, she chases things that run, and then quits and chows down once she has something. This has been one of my biggest beefs with the later JP films, especially Jurassic World– rather than the scares coming from being treated and stalked like prey by animals, the scares are based on monsters killing and eating randomly. (And what’s with the treatment of all the herbivores as good and gentle? Herbivores will fuck you up because they got scared or because you pissed them off and those are the two primary emotions of large herbivores– they won’t eat you, but they’ll still trample you).

+Addition: The predators that aren’t snipers (like cougars or herons) tend to test individuals in a herd– they want to gauge your health and willingness to fuck somebody up before they commit to you as a target. If you stare them down with your cold dead eyes and gear up to wreck their shit they’ll piss off unless they’re completely desperate. (Like I said, the main emotions of prey animals are Time To Fuck Shit Up and Time To Run).  So, I’m desperately tired of all these people running and screaming away from wolves and velociraptors and bears oh my. 

Consider:

How much scarier fiction could be if predators acted like actual predators that can be intelligent and patient and are pressing around the edges of your party to find weakness and fear. 

Ever gone back and read the original Jurassic Park book?  Please don’t, fuckin’ awful I couldn’t even finish it for various reason but the predator behavior like this was a BIG problem.  I got so angry at it…haha.

In many situations you’d be more likely to get chased and damaged by a herbivore feeling threatened than a predator already feeding (though push your luck there and see what happens…)

My favourite example of the “herbivores are harmless” fallacy is the Cape Buffalo. If they’re unhappy about the presence of something that upsets them, they’ll make it go away…

…and if the something-that-upsets-them can’t run away fast enough (people, for one) then its going-away can be messy and permanent.

Someone (I think it was writer Robert Ruark) once described Cape Buffalo as “looking at you as if you owe them money.”

This lot all know you owe them money…

…but the big guy on the left knows how much, and that your repayment is late.

It is deeply, deeply beneficial to TERFs if the only characteristic of TERF ideology you will recognize as wrong, harmful, or problematic is "they hate trans women".

TERF ideology is an expansive network of extremely toxic ideas, and the more of them we accept and normalize, the easier it becomes for them to fly under the radar and recruit new TERFs. The closer they get to turning the tide against all trans people, trans women included.

Case in point: In 2014-2015, I fell headlong into radical feminism. I did not know it was called radical feminism at the time, but I also didn't know what was wrong with radical feminism in the first place. I didn't see a problem with it.

I was a year deep into this shit when people I had been following, listening to, and looking up to finally said they didn't think trans women were women. It was only then that I unfollowed those people, specifically; but I continued to follow other TERFs-who-didn't-say-they-were-TERFs. I continued ingesting and spreading their ideas- for years after.

If TERFs "only target trans women" and "only want trans women gone", if that's the one and only problem with their ideology and if that's the only way we'll define them, we will inevitably miss a vast majority of the quiet beliefs that support their much louder hatred of trans women.

As another example: the trans community stood relatively united when TERFs and conservatives targeted our right to use the correct restroom, citing the "dangers" of trans women sharing space with cis women. But when they began targeting Lost Little Girls and Confused Lesbians and trotting detransitioners out to raise a panic about trans men, virtually the only people speaking up about it were other transmascs. Now we see a rash of anti-trans healthcare bills being passed in the US, and they're hurting every single one of us.

When you refuse to call a TERF a TERF just because they didn't specifically say they hate trans women, when you refuse to think critically about a TERF belief just because it's not directly related to trans women, you are actively helping TERFs spread their influence and build credibility.

what is some TERF ideology we should be on the look out for?

This isn't comprehensive, but I'll do my best.

TERFs are, first and foremost, radical feminists. Radical feminism is essentially second-wave feminism without the intersectionality brought in by third-wave feminism. It believes that patriarchy is at fault for the oppression of women, but sees this in a very strict, binary way: women are the oppressed, and men are the oppressors.

TERFs use this to justify their specific brand of transphobia. This idea, among others, is essential in supporting that transphobia.

I'll try to outline some of those ideas, and some of the logical thruoughlines they use:

Some of these ideas are contradictory, but they lead to the same conclusions. Some of them lead to similar conclusions, many of which take very little further nudging to push into more dogmatic ideas.

This is exactly why we need to understand all of these paths into TERF ideology- and more.

In fact, the vast majority of the points on this list- particularly the beginnings of their logic- can be very easily swallowed while still holding that trans women are women, and trans men are men.

That's what TIRFs (trans-inclusive radical feminists) are, and they're still incredibly dangerous. TIRF ideology normalizes these points, making it far easier for TERFs to recruit; even if TIRFs themselves try to be aggressively anti-TERF.

Again, this isn't comprehensive, and it would take a long time and a lot of words to cover every flaw and danger in every line of reasoning here.

But remember how these things work; even if some of them begin with a grain of truth, even if some of them are true- especially if you define the words they contain differently- be wary of them.

It's important to note how sex-negative they can be, and how in some circles this leads to a belief that being a lesbian is the only way one can liberate oneself from the abuse of men. They see sexual orientation as a choice to be made for one's safety, or a political act--not something based on genuine attraction. They also sometimes push the idea of the "gold-star lesbian"--that is, a lesbian who's never been with a man--as the ideal. If you're a bisexual? Disgusting, don't interact.

It's... sadly common to see on dating sites.

Can we please admit that ADHD is also a spectrum? Some people suffer a lot more from their ADHD. There’s people that manage fairly well, or don’t feel as hindered by it. My brother is barely bothered by it, he just gets really active and does sports. I am constantly impacted by it, and I’m tired of people acting like we’re all the same. We’re not. There are moments where I can’t cook for weeks, where I can’t manage to send an email for work, meanwhile he’s running his own business successfully. Some of us are barely functioning because of our ADHD, and others seem to be thriving because of it. 

So yeah, there’s definitely degrees in it, right? 

https://www.idrlabs.com/adhd-spectrum/test.php

I saw this on Twitter and holy shit.

Can’t say I’m surprised.

Interesting

heres someone who doesn’t have any symptoms

Wanna trade? 😂

fun times

Fun fact: I was supposed to get tested for ADHD but then I had kidney stones and then Covid started

…i think i need to see a doctor.

Symptoms are high

well fuck

Bestie…..

Hm

Mmm, Can’t say we’re surprised ^^;

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

“Perry is strictly professional and also a platypus”

I love the fact that “professional” is the first reason and “platypus” is the second, because this is extremely plausible for Perry.

“Yeah no I can’t fuck I’m on duty”.

Did you know that…?

1.Doofenshmirtz isn’t evil anymore,allowing Perry to date him

2.Romance betweet animal/human isn’t frowned upon in the Dwampyverse

we even got humans falling in love with inanimate objects, albeit played for laughs

one of Doofenshmirtz’ dates ditched him for a whale

we are talking about a universe where this is canon

for god’s sake

Look, I’m not that knowledgeable about Phineas and Ferb lore (although I’m very glad that my post resonated with the Gay Scientists Dating Tired Platypuses fandom) but what, pray tell, the fuck is going on? am i having a stroke? im willing to accept the teacher falling in love with her desk because language teachers just are like that but is this nerd about to bang an ice cone?? hello?????

It’s the ice cream machine,and her name is Carla

Let us also pop bottles for the time Doofenshmirtz had to help his ex-thwarty call’s current nemesis become desirable for punching again. 

I thought Perry was with the Panda?

That’s a funny history actually.Peter the Panda is also dating his respective nemesis,he even got to met his parents

‘‘our boy is all grown up’‘ ‘‘why is he a panda bear’‘

had me crying

I think there was a scene where Peter and Perry were having dinner together at a fancy restaurant. But that was before Doofenshmirtz stopped being evil.

what the fuck is going on in Phineas and Ferb

@deenalloh you have to watch milo murphy’s law season 2 to know what’s going on with Doofenshmirtz life.He stopped being evil to commit to his future self: ‘’Professor Time’’ inventor of time-travel and a public figure.

and he is trying to be a good guy now

also there’s 2 more time lines where he ends up good

1.Science teacher

2. O.W.C.A agent (The OWCA Files)

this universe is big and vast and doesn’t end at Phineas and Ferb

Okay but saying that just because some people in that universe are in love with animals/inanimate objects doesn’t mean it’s normal.

I mean, in our universe, someone wanted to marry the Eiffel Tower.

yeah..but you see..there’s this wonderful thing in cartoons that real life doesn’t have and its animals being actual sentient/anthropomorphic. So,you can’t compare our life with a cartoon ship in this case

Also Perry is arguably one of the smartest characters on both shows when it comes to deductive reasoning, common sense, and social intelligence. He could tell just by looking at a room exactly what happened there a few hours ago. He can problem-solve on the fly, and does so very often. He has basic engineering skills (or at least, “basic” for this universe, which is kinda masterful for our universe), and can communicate complex thoughts to others despite being physically incapable of speaking English (he even knows ASL!) To claim that Perry the Platypus is incapable of providing consent simply because he isn’t human is a disservice to his character. And honestly, if we’re going by the anthropological definition of “human” (bipedal, opposable thumbs, ability to communicate complex thought), then he is by all means “human.” He’s just… A Human Platypus. …?

What the fuck became of my post

Also Doof is legally an Ocelot

Logan that only raises more questions on an already strange post

It’s canon. In the OWCA Files. Him legally being an ocelot is what allows him to be an agent.

What the FUCK

Yeah, in one part of his long, tragic backstory, he was abandon and raised by ocelots

I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up the ocelot thing

@looney-mooney I agree with this vit there’s one thing, even if Perry has amazing deductive reasoning he has to at least fall to one trap. That’s just the law of nature.

@oceanic-panic-panic bold of you to assume that Perry doesn’t let himself get trapped on purpose at least 2/3 of the time. Perry always escapes the traps. And he always waits for Doofenshmirtz to finish monologuing before escaping from them. It’s part of their routine, something they both expect: Perry bursts in, gets trapped, patiently listens to doof’s rant of the day, escapes the trap, fights his nemesis, and blows up the Inator. Whenever this routine is broken, they work to maintain it anyway - I can think of at least like 3 instances where Perry purposefully, politely traps himself, and several more where Doofenshmirtz gets impatient and sets Perry free from the trap himself so they can fight.

Perry getting trapped isn’t a sign of some intellectual folley - it’s a sign of his incredible problem-solving skills that he can escape them so easily, and a sign of his social intelligence that he knows to politely wait until his nemesis is ready to stop venting and start fighting.

But why does Perry need to be trapped for his nemesis to vent? Easy. Doofenshmirtz is a victim of severe child abuse, and needs to feel as though he’s somewhat in control of the situation before allowing himself to be vulnerable. Perry being trapped makes him feel safe, and Perry catches on to this. It’s an intricate social dance that none of his coworkers have mastered, the ability to communicate with and accomidate for a villain with special needs. And though it takes the whole summer, they eventually don’t even need the traps, because Perry makes Heinz feel safe.

I mean, back on the Peter the Panda line, being a nemesis was always supposed to be analogous to being in a relationship anyway. I think of this way more as an “arranged relationship turns to true love” story than an “enemies to lovers” one.

‘’You probably look at Perry the Platypus and me and think it’s a match made in heaven. But it wasn’t always this way. Back in the day, O.W.C.A. assigned agents willy-nilly, with no regard for personality conflicts or basic compatibility issues … like a bad blind date!

Why, when I first met Perry the Platypus, I didn’t even know what kind of an animal he was. Who’s ever heard of a teal platypus?! And I gotta tell you, he got on my last nerve … always staring at me, judging me. You know how he is.

Well, I was ready to call it quits. I even called Major Monogram to see if I could get another nemesis assigned. Something a little less semiaquatic. But thank goodness, Francis said to give it a little more time to see if things could work themselves out. And you know what? They did!

Now I wouldn’t trade my nemesis for anyone in the world. Oh, sure, he still infuriates me and I try to eliminate him on a daily basis, but that’s just what I do.

So, if your first encounter with your mortal foe isn’t perfect, don’t despair! It gets better … usually.’’

I’d say both are correct

Me knowing almost nothing about Phineas and Ferb but reading this entire post anyway 

The greatest thing about the Dwampyverse seemingly being perfectly fine with the possible dynamic of Perry and Doofenshmirtz being in what is basically a romantic relationship, is the fact that the idea of Perry having a girlfriend is one that Jeff and Dan adamantly refused to do and as a running gag, ALL THE WAY up to Act Your Age (the episode where all the kids are grown up and it’s phinbella centric), it starts out with them opening fanmail and one question being “Will Perry ever get a girlfriend?” to which both men adamantly say NO Plus I cannot find the tweet for the LIFE of me and thats so fucking tragic BUT there was this fan tweet @ either dan or swampy that was a lil kid making a doof and perry plushy smooch and their replies were both positive so do with that information what you will

OH and the entire Plot B of “Meapless In Seattle” is that Doof is in Seattle basically on the border of having an affair with Peter the Panda and Perry and Doof have to work things out so just. yeah

this legendary tweet? :)

If “i fell for you the moment that you pushed me” wasn’t clear enough….

@frigginconfused

This post makes me smile every time it comes on my dash. Here you guys go, cause with the hell we’re in, I think we deserve to smile a bit

@holding-infinity-and-a-book @stars-triumphant @paneerlajwanti @lacunatu @will-die-without-chai @anjali750 @tiredcoffeebeanthings @a-book-locked-nerd @thebookwormslytherin @mango-pickle @ Kitty and katara…sorry if I forgot someone

Akdjsjdind okay OKAY I ship it I ship the ex-evil scientist and the secret agent platypus

Put $100 in the pocket of a low-income person, and it will circle through the local economy a dozen times in a week.

Put $100 in the pocket of bankers and hedge fund owners, and it gets hoarded away in an offshore bank account.

So tell me what type of "stimulus package" actually stimulates the economy

an extra $20 in someones pocket becomes a trip to the coffee shop before work and they leave a generous tip. Then $20 comes out of the tip jar to buy everyone behind the counter something from the taco truck. Taco guy spends $20 on a ride home at the end of taco time. Cab driver spends $20 on a late dinner on the eay home. Food worker misses the last bus and hires an Uber instead of walking home, spending about $20.

Any economist worth their degree will tell you that 5 people spending the same $20 in a day is $100 worth of economic stimulation.

Meanwhile the rich persons $20 is just another $20 in a fund somewhere and they change nothing about their day, effectively turning that $20 into $0 worth of functional economy.

Info from: accountant friend, whom I speak of rather often.

The mattress CEO interviewed in Robert Reich’s documentary Inequality for All described it as something like “I own pretty much the best bed money can buy. If I double my money, am I going to buy another one? If I eat exactly what I want every day, will doubling my money make me eat twice as much? Of course not, the money ends up stashed away by people I pay to manage it. I literally make more money than I can spend. I used to believe in trickle-down economics, but I can see now that the money isn’t going anywhere. The 1% does not power the economy, it’s the middle-class that does. And it’s shrinking.”

ANDY DIDNT REMEMBER THIS AND I HAD TO LOOK FOR THE POST HONESTLY I FORGOT HOW HORRIFYING IT IS

WHAT I S T H I S

I love reblogging this just to see the unified screams of terror, confusion, and/or groans from veterans of this 😂

honestly he’s pretty fucking great at initiating people into the fandom

I believe it!

WHO BROUGHT THIS BACK?

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE

>:( Let my child hang round

*grabs ax*

Welp, time to kill everyone again. There will be no survivors this time.

wow why is everyone against my son >:(

oh god…

@virgilsandersakaanxiety what are your thoughts on this abomination of man

Um… well…

I know Patton isn’t fond of me swearing but…

What the everlasting fuck is that?

Virgil x

Why is this on my dash again? You know what? If I have to suffer

@roman-ciful

@virgilanxiety

@im-p-short

@whatssunlightlol

@pastel-patton123

@lacrimosathedark

You have to also

ASH WHAT THE FUCK

Ash stop this monstrosity

n e v e r

why is it back

Meeee!

why do you keep reviving cursed posts

It’s fun! Besides, Centhomas is a beautiful creation!

he has a name??????

Yes

I don’t know wtf that is but I’m suffering and I’m dragging all of my followers down with me.

Especially all of you> @stars-in-mine-eyes @thatsanswitch @fandergecko @alurea-actually @hi-disappointed-im-daughter @virgilisaneternalmood @failureofaesthetics

ಠ▃ಠ Why meee?!

WHY IS THIS BACK ON MY DASH???? @author-trash I BLAME YOU FOR THIS

Bringing this back.

bold of you to think he was gone.

Good point.

@phlying-squirrel @minamishipsit @milomeepit @theonlyjelly-iwillput-inmybelly

WHY DID YOU BRING HIM BACK!?

SOMEONE HAD TO!

he was gonna be back soon anyway, its his birthday in 19 days

Oh look, my son is back

Your son?

WHY IS THIS HERE AGAIN

yaaaaaaaay! i love my son

Your son?

well he is now

mmmm no he’s my son sweetie

hhhhhh fine can i be that one aunt thats like, just, there

sweet

not again- why?

@chally-wally @have-a-pantastic-day @themicrosoftnerd @septicsketches

I live for the chaos this post brings xD

LET THIS VILE CREATURE PERISH IN THE FIERY FIELDS THAT ECHOES WITH THE CRIES OF THE DAMNDED FROM WHENCE IT WAS BORNE

REVIVE

its tiME TO STOP AND LET TUMBLR EAT THE POST

@thatawkmomentwhenulickafry @sleepdeprivedanddeadinside You guys have to suffer with me here.

@teacupfulofstarshine DID YOU SEE THIS

i’m actively trying to avoid this

I can’t believe I’m doing this

@royallyanxious @virgils-hoodie @all-da-fandoms @peachy-pattoncake @randomslasher @logically-asexual @logan-exe @romanasanders @vigilantvirgil @pattonly-absurd

Sorrrrrrryyyyyyyyy

YAY I LOVE CENTATHOMAS @gabe-killed-me-with-ace-cream @asexual-trashbag @fandomsandanythingelse YES LOOK!

W H Y IS CENTHOMAS BACK

Nah, I’m dragging people to look at this if I have to. @mewsicalmiss @amethystdarkwolf @the-skeleton-of-a-fish @thegnatnat @keelywinchester @vergeangst

OH COME ON I ALREADY SAW THIS!!!! Ya know what?

@side-for-sides @thequeendevious @just-an-anxious-mess

WHY THE FUCK IS THIS CURSED CREATURE BACK ON MY DASH?!?!

Don’t worry everyone, we can fight this!

WITH THE MISNAKE

THATS NOT HELPING!!!

WHY DO THESE CURSED IMAGES EXIST?!?!

You haven’t seen Centhomas 2.0, have you?

I WOULD ENJOY IT IF ALL OF THESE CURSED IMAGES GOT EATEN BY TUMBLR

IF I HAVE TO SUFFER I’M BRINGING Y'ALL DOWN WITH ME @emodreams2018 @all-hail-queen-mega-bitch

WHY VIOLET WHY

WTF. THESE ABOMINATIONS NEED TO DIE. NOW.

@emodreams2018 @all-hail-queen-mega-bitch I’M GONNA FRICCING TAG Y'ALL AGAIN BC ITS LATE AT NIGHT AND I DONUT FRICCING CARE ABT HOW HORRIFYING THIS IMAGE IS

I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU

@all-hail-queen-mega-bitch @bunny222 @teacupfulofstarshine @bigfootsbf @raiseafuckingglass

Really? This shows up on my dash again? Fuck this.

@i-will-physically-fight-you (:

Bold of you to assume I’ve never seen Centhomas nor do I still shiver in fear of him. I, for one, welcome our new centaur overlord.

The fact no one has brought back Centhomas in 2020 is a tragedy :(

Well, we have now. Honestly I welcome Centhomas in these trying times. xD

What The Everlasting Fuck

:D

oh, the orange shithead got covid!!! oh it’s like our birthdays all came early!!! oh i hope he dies!!!  🎉 🎉 🎉

The epitome of “everyone was thinking it.” lol

oh, were we trying to be discrete? what nonesense!

to crystal sparkling blindingly clear: 

i hope his cabinet dies! 🎊🎊🎊

i hope his entire family (minus the teenager) DIES!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

they are all complicit in the highest level of treason, fascism, the destruction of civilian lives, and the revival of nazism in the 21st century. would love to watch someone dip them one by one in gasoline like a candle wick in hot wax then light them up like a xmas tree 🎄🎄🎄 a menorah 🕎🕎🕎 or a pyrotechnical parade on new year’s eve 🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🔥🔥🔥. to reiterate, I would consider trump’s death a festivity a holiday a salubrious celebratory occasion a marvelous means of welcoming in the new year, a cause for cigars and party hats and passing out the champagne 🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂. finally something to celebrate in 2020 ❤️❤️❤️

Uh… That’s a bit violent

check the tags  💋 💋 💋 💋 

Big words for a crayon eater.

Wishing death on someone is terrible no matter who it is.

that’s nice. i hope trump dies :)  i would find this altogether pleasant and charming :)  his death would bring me great delight :)  i would enjoy it so :)

That is still really mean

Sure is! hope he suffers excruciatingly :)

Having the basic human decency not to wish death upon someone doesn’t count as bootlicking. You’re just an asshole with an excuse.

that’s nice! i wish death on trump and every politician who has enabled him along the way :)  i hope it’s painful :)  i hope they suffer :) :) :)

When someone’s body count is large enough you can’t count it in one hand they no longer deserve human decency

i feel like that is a useful rule actually? bc a tiny tiny percent of humanity tends to be responsible for the majority of unnecessary death. like the vast vast vast majority of people aren’t responsible for causing the death of others on a significant scale. most people haven’t killed anyone. a small section of people have killed someone, or a few someones. and then there’s that elite percentage of people (usually politicians) who shape the world for the worse and have killed or destroyed on what to the average civilian should seem like an unthinkable scale

there’s a difference between no wishing death on like. your conservative neighbor down the block. and hoping for the death of someone who has actively killed and hurt people on a scale you can’t even appreciate without visual representation 

@ryebread-witchhunt

Now these are some cats that can pose for a picture

11.27.20. Los Angeles

LASD spent the night before thanksgiving forcibly removing a family from a state-owned home. Police arrived with military gear to remove a family who had been squatting in the vacant home. Protesters at the eviction were unable to stop the police, but they have been begun protesting outside Mayor Garcetti’s home.

A reminder that in nearly every US city, the “housing crisis” is artificially produced through collaboration among real estate developers, landlords, and Democrat & Republican politicians, carried out by overfunded police. There is no scarcity, so capitalists create an illusion of it.

some people??? make memes about their former comfort show being homophobic??? to cope????

and finally,

wait no I missed one

This is not my picture- but husband just called, made me put it on video phone, and walked up and down the block to show me this amazing library and I really want to go to Kansas City now.

I never thought I would need to go to Kansas City but here we are

Um…I live here, I like books (I probably have a stack of 20 to read don’t judge…) and have never heard of this library but you best believe imma be in that bitch sometime. BET!

I’m bout to head out there and see what this is all about. ETA 16 minutes. I deadass threw on some clothes and was just like fuck it let’s go. Gotta hurry, it closes at 5!

I deadass walked around the wrong building but, we out here!

I worked up damn sweat walking out here but fuck it!

Here’s the front door…

This is right when you walk inside. Some punk ass dude said he was going to photo bomb me. I invited him to take a picture, but he was like nah bruh.

A little lounge area, a cafe, elevators and stairs for those who want them! Its legit!

Taking a stroll on the second floor now! We have some artwork, some videos!

They have a place for kids and teens too on the second floor! It’s dope! They do say though that as an adult I couldn’t use the bathroom. They don’t want those problems! Kids was in there playing some Area 51 game? They got a spot for toddlers to chill! They got that little area like you see at the doctors office where kids can go and kill time. But kids play on iPhones and shit now tho but it’s still dope!

3rd floor now. This place is friendly for those who are homeless. They got WiFi in here! Individual tables with outlets to charge your shit! Very very quiet in here since it is a library…duh K! Caught a young dude in here going over his football highlight tape. 18 years old, doesn’t know where he’s going to school, says he plays linebacker and running back. He was blasting on his highlight tape. He said his favorite player was Marshawn Lynch, just like mine!!! Also got a lil spot to watch tv! Onto the 4th and last floor…

Restroom is also on the 3rd floor too! Heads up!

4th and final floor now. It’s more secluded than the other three floors but they got books for years in this bitch! They got little study areas for people who want to chill and be by themselves. Whatever you want! Fiction, non fiction and everything in between!

Back on the first floor! If you go straight ahead from the entrance you’ll enter this other lil study hall area. They got more places to chill! They got iPads and computers and shit you can use! This is a dope ass public library. If you in the KC area and wanna check out a book…bring yo ass over here! They gotchu! If yo ass need to study for a test…come park yo dumbass over here and study!

I hope you all enjoyed the tour! Thanks to @jewleshasbadideas and @downtostars (I hope that’s the right name…) for bringing this to my attention! I’m hungry and I’m starting to smell a lil musty, working up a sweat doing all this walking… With this last pic…I’m out!

Check out this library! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✌🏾😊✊🏾

Read books dammit!

@librarycards

I’ve been there for a conference! It’s a great place. It’s spacious and accommodating. Good coffee too.