constellations change with perspective

Just a heads up right now: on the day when Trump dies, I’m going to be extremely tasteless about it. It’s going to get ugly. You are going to see a side of me I am not proud of. I don’t want any call-outs in my inbox, I’m stating right now that lines will be crossed.

How disgusting can someone be

I wouldn’t even say this about my worst enemy

Forget the fact that its trump. If you agree with this youre fucking evil. Evil literally lives inside you. Wow.

Anyways all of y’all AND the evil that literally lives inside of you are invited to the sick ass house party I’m throwing when lord dampnut kicks the bucket

I feel like all you Americans need to take a look at what happened here in the UK after Maggie Thatcher died. Because when it comes to tasteless celebrations fuelled by anger and the death of a hated political leader, we REALLY pushed the boat out. We had street parties. We had burning effigies. We pushed “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” to the top of the charts out of sheer hatred. Bone up kiddos, and I really hope you manage to do that truly American thing, of dramatically outdoing us with your celebrations.

Reblogging for last comment.

With the way this year is going, the sooner it happens the better.

*this can be reblogged every year

I’m going to make cake. There’s going to be fireworks. There WILL be a burnt effigy.

Look, I’m gonna level with you americans for a second. When old wrinkly and orange kicks the bucket, for once in my life, possibly the only time, I’ll actually want to be able to see the fireworks from across the Atlantic. And I daresay I won’t be the only one. So listen to me and listen closely, cause I’ll only say it once: When the moldy Cheeto bites it, it’s the one and only chance you’ll likely have at being loudly, unbearably, obnoxiously American in your celebration and for once, the rest of the world won’t complain. 

…I know I just reblogged this, but that last comment 👌👨🏻‍🍳

Listen I’m already designing the cake I’m gonna order from Publix.

I want to see the fireworks from AUSTRALIA, guys. Make it happen.

if i am not making meme compilations when he dies, someone simply must tell me he has passed because that will be the only reason. i need to make the memes so i can harass a friend into making a mem slideshow to that one trump-is-jesus evangelical christian song and name it "Jesus never did rise again. Praise be to the mound he is finally below." or some shit

Loudly telepathically broadcasting this post to my spreadsheet mutuals

@precarious-hermit

The fact that i was about to pull up my emotional support south park spreadsheet but said 'nah, ill browse tumblr' only to see this attack coming for my fucking ankles in my notifs

you fucking bet they are

you should see the one post about the italian greyhound

pov: every time a scheduled reblog comes across my dash, i schedule more reblogs, and now the amount of scheduled reblogs are between me and lucifer, except neither he nor i know how many its gotten to now

i make this reblog in particular on the same day i made the above #MELLAN WHY response. i'm going to forget i scheduled a reblog about it. i'm going to forget when i scheduled it for. one thing i never forget is that, for the most part, whenever one of these reblogs crosses my dash, i schedule more reblog like the eagle of prometheus returning for it's feast

I got task with explaining the unhinged headcannon that happened tonight between me, @precarious-hermit (Mellan), @gremlin-bot (Grem), @thatoneweirdmusician (Conner)

Due to a joke, we accidentally got in the topic of cannibalism. Some of us are well-versed in true crime so criminal cases got brought up.

And that lead me to bring up a weird thing occasionally mentioned in criminal cases - which is a very nasty smell that seems to come from the very skin of the perpetrator which seems to be related to the body being unable to process that type of uh… meat.

I got asked what that smell smells like, but i didn’t have a good answer. It’s not really something I know how to easily find.

Then we had to brainstorm about what that smell might be. At first, the idea of the smell of infection came up. But that didn’t make sense.

Then Mellan goes, I bet it smells like the smell of rotting blood.

And we’re like, ‘no, no, that makes sense’

So because we weren’t be able to find a specific answer, we now have a headcannon about this weirdly specific thing

i just think that they would smell like rotting blood. not rotting flesh.

i also endeavor not to find out irl in any capacity

Listen, I'm lowkey sick of the direction of the MCU, but whatever.

It's fine.

What I want is an entire movie or series of Wolverine and the Winter Soldier both meeting up on their quests to remember Who The Fuck Are They TM and the sitcom that would follow them being roommates and long-distance bffs while they deal with whatever the fuck they do on the clock and off.

Logan: "I'm currently hiding from annoying super mutant-teens crying because they're grounded, and I can't even escape to grab a beer or they'll find me, and I cannot guarantee they'll make it out alive if that happens. Distract me."

Winter: "... Sure. I think I remember some of the guys I served with, but I've already forgotten their names. I'll remember again later."

Logan: "Military, eh? Me too. Howling Commandos."

Winter: "... You're never going to fucking believe this one."

I still want this, and soon Imma write it myself

I want a Prime Minister that has  a mullet, and the guts to wear the Weekend Flannel in the house of parliament. 

Give me a wild lumberjack Prime Minister who deeply respects nature and will finally actually give a fuck about Indigenous Canadians because they actually understand how important and sacred wilderness is instead of just being required to kinda-sorta do something for them while making it look like they’re the best thing since colonization ruined everything. 

If the person is an Indigenous lumberjack? Even better. I’d love to hear how politicians would justify discriminatory and racist policy changes.

Democracy can and should stay, but shitty political fights will now be taken care of by who can chop the most wood in a five minute period. Oh, you don’t want to ruin your three piece suit? You can’t chop in heels? Well maybe you should’ve thought about that before insisting that a pipeline damaging already-limited and neglected-by-the-government sacred land is good for the country. Get chopping or sit down. Either way, motion denied.

@precarious-hermit this motherfucker will haunt me to my grave and even then I expect them to place angry girl drawing into my coffin as I am lowered into the ground

should i die before i'm free, tear my shackles from beneath

hoist my love unto the sky, and paint of all my meaning'ed life

raise me up to ride the stars, yet carry me upon your heart

watch me reach my forever, and know i guard your own endeavor

love the weight upon your chest, for to love at all is to love a mess

lay me down below your grasp, and understand that nothing lasts

i lay with you, in turn, of that you wish to forget your yearn

low the chains and watch me be, for to be cringe is to be free

~ mellan, just now (2024)

love ya, buddy :>

I have the drive and power to stay hungry and devour, except i do not have any plastic to destroy my digestive system. Perchance, i wait, and devour another day. Days are devoured by plastic, after all.

Delicious.

If plastic would kill me, maybe i would be considered by definition. If all of me is consumed, am i not delicious?

@precarious-hermit this motherfucker will haunt me to my grave and even then I expect them to place angry girl drawing into my coffin as I am lowered into the ground

should i die before i'm free, tear my shackles from beneath

hoist my love unto the sky, and paint of all my meaning'ed life

raise me up to ride the stars, yet carry me upon your heart

watch me reach my forever, and know i guard your own endeavor

love the weight upon your chest, for to love at all is to love a mess

lay me down below your grasp, and understand that nothing lasts

i lay with you, in turn, of that you wish to forget your yearn

low the chains and watch me be, for to be cringe is to be free

~ mellan, just now (2024)

love ya, buddy :>