Dancing On My Own
Content: 2.2k words of letting go of false feelings when someone shows you true ones.
a/n- a product of sudden inspiration while listening to a song on repeat and my wifi going out. Yay :) Start with this version, end with this one!
Sliding into the corner booth, here you are again.
Another night. Another night of self loathing. Watching them dance with each other, watching the one you want, not dancing with you.
But it was never going to be you. It was in your head.
But that doesn't make it hurt less.
At one time you thought there was a chance. It seemed like it, anyway.
"Hey." You hear a soft voice just over the music.
Blinking you look over to see your friend slip into the booth next to you.
"What are you doing?" He asks, but really, he knows. He wants you to stop it.
You shrug and look back out and feel your heart hurt as you watch them share a tender moment right there in front of everyone.
"Don't do this to yourself." He begs. He can't stand it.
"I…" You trail off. "I'm done." You look away and lock eyes with Jean. "I'm done." You say more confidently.
He searches your eyes to be sure.
But it's true. This is the last time you are willing to let yourself feel this way.
"Wanna, get out of here then?" He asks gently, like he might scare you.
And he almost does. "I don't know if we should, together." You admit some doubt.
"Why? You think…you think something, that I would…" He can't even form a sentence to respond.
"I don't know what I think. I just know I could be better, and don't want to make you, make anyone…" You turn away in shame.
You trust him completely, but tonight you are emotional, and don't know if you trust yourself not to do something that could lead to something else.
Because if it can't be with the one you want, you might want it to be with someone.
"I wouldn't." He insists, trying not to be offended by your thoughts, knowing you're not thinking straight. "Come on."
He takes your arm and you let him lead you away, neither of you looking back.