comprehensive analysis of sam & cap meeting for the first time
- ‘oh hey look how fast i can run look how fast and cool i am look at me’
- cap is wearing a t shirt 2 sizes 2 small that may as well be soaking wet come the fuck on cap put on some fucking clothes
- i can’t hear anything steve is saying over his flexing
- ‘what unit u with? where u work? what’s ur name? u got a boyfriend? where yo boyfriend at?’
- flimsy excuse to hold hands (’oh help me up from this tree i’m so tired i can’t possibly get up by myself’)
- sam immediately all ‘must be weird coming home after the whole defrosting thing’ like wow personal much? buy a guy a drink first
- steve is like ‘uh ya it’s weird that’s personal buy a guy a drink first’ and goes to leave
- sam: -anguished expression- oh god i fucked it up
- sam:
damn it sam save it! save it! don’t let him go! -says the first thing that pops into his head-
- steve like
‘what the fuck buy a guy several drinks first?’
- sam: your bed, it’s too soft. when I was over there I’d sleep on the ground, use rocks for pillows, like a caveman.
steve:
- what
- sam: -explains what the fuck he’s talking about, beds are too soft, etc etc etc’
- steve: ohhhh the marshmallow bed thing? ya i get that. fucking soft beds right haha -is apparently into the whole caveman thing-
- sam: nice, saved it -high fives self-
- steve: -demonstrates how Knowledgeable he is and how much Perspective he has and how Funny he can be’ we use to boil everything!!!!
- steve literally sounds like one of those beauty queens having a question sprung on her that she didn’t expect
- ‘Miss New York how does the world of today compare to the days of world war 2??? 30 seconds on the clock’
- ‘no polio is good’
- ….’no polio is good’….
- ‘we used to boil everything!!!’
- somehow sam is still cool with this. it’s probably bc steve has mouth-watering melon pecs
- Sam Makes His Move
you can tell this is his Move. he tells this to all the ladies. there’s no way you can get someone listening to marvin gaye and not get laid instantaneously
- steve doesn’t know what the fuck sam is talking about but this is a great excuse to show off his arms by pulling out his little notebook
are you looking at those arms sam?? bc i am
- btw
- this
this is the face of a man who is DTF
- ‘Miss New York, what are the most significant historical events and cultural changes that have occurred since world war two?? 30 seconds on the clock’
- ‘uhh…. I Love Lucy. Moon Landing. Berlin wall… up and down. Steve Jobs…. apple….???? Disco. Definitely. Thai food. Star Wars and Trek. Nirvana… I’m pretty sure that’s a band. Rocky and Rocky 2. And whatever this guy just told me. idk I’ll look it up on the Google later’
- ‘all right Sam, duty calls. Thanks for the run…… if that’s what you want to call running.’
- ‘Oh, that’s how it is??’
- ‘Ohhh that’s how it is.’
- this is better flirting than i have ever implemented in my nearly ten long years after hitting puberty
- ‘Hey anytime you want to stop by my place of employment that I told you explicitly within minutes of meeting you but now I’m bringing up again to make sure you remember where I work and where to find me again, make
out with meme look awesome in front of the girl at the front desk, just let me know’ - Steve: hella B)
- nat: -rolls up-
- nat: