Imagine being able to detach your titties before bed.. so you could actually sleep on your stomach. Lol

My dumb ass gon over sleep and forget my tiddies in the morning..

Keys … wallet… damn, my titties .

im calling out everyone who says “this cleared my skin and watered my crops” when responding to images they like

i know you dont have crops

and i know you dont have skin

stop lying for a “joke”, this is a serious website for people to make posts on their blogs about their life experiences, not about making a ruckus and acting like fools

im so sorry

This meme transcends language

OH MY GOD

A demon that writes messages on your mirror with blood but they’re useful messages. Like “remember you have yoga at 6 tonight”

“You need to leave him, Karen”.

I am so here for this

I just spit water all over my desk… this is amazing

Brenda turned, following her friend’s trembling finger.

“Oh, that’s just Rh’lygh.”

“Its…what?”

“Yeah, he’s been a total lifesaver this semester.”

The dark figure drew closer in a shroud of mist and extended a claw like hand that slowly wrapped around Brenda’s shoulder. She glanced at her forearm, upon which strange welts arose that arranged themselves into barely intelligible runes:

Remember you need to study for that biology exam.

“Thanks, I will Rh’lygh, but I’m meeting Brian first.”

He’s no good for you Brenda.

“Rh’lygh, we’ve been over this.”

He’s a cad, Brenda.

Guy Drops Everything To Travel The World But Doesn’t Forget To Assure His Mom He’s Fine

Aww goals for my kiddo

That last pic would have worried the heck out of me!

Heh.

True fact xD

my mom is scREAMING downstairs right now about how there’s no chocolate.

“How can we NOT HAVE CHOCOLATE IN THIS HOUSE?”

“How is there NO CHOCOLATE???”

“DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT WE HAVE A WHALE HANGING FROM THE CEILING BUT THERE’S NO CHOCOLATE?”

I said I was going to draw this image didn’t I?

Ares III Travel Log  Failed Pranks

Rush Hour bloopers.

This is the cutest thing.

jackie chan is so innocent

the majority of his bloopers anywhere are mainly him messing up his lines because English is like his third language

but he’s a cutie patootie uwu

Where’s that cat I know he came this way.

Alright but this is cool as fuck

WOW!

#some sort of bro mermaid

I almost went with ‘mer-bros’ but I couldn’t pass up bro-maids