I’m being driven to kill.
Read the Crusade Insignia talisman, I beg of you.
Omfg, I've seen that take everywhere lately! It drives me up the wall!!!
Marika and Messmer cannot be absolved of their crimes.
Although Messmer has own problems, most, if not all, of his reasoning for his motives is tied up with his mother, Marika. Marika's will is Messmer's will— he's such momma's boy that he's practically handicapped himself with that way of thinking.
So let me focus on Marika!
Now don't get me wrong— I like Marika a lot! She is a fantastic intricately written character with complex motives who makes for a great villain. Her backstory is horrific and definitely sympathetic, I can see why she does the things she does. I can definitely appreciate her character, especially since I'm a writer. Personally I'm also drawn to villains (who later end up as my favorite characters). I'm actually drawing a portrait of her right now— I should be working on my other stuff but oh well!
Overall, Marika is a great character and even without the additional lore from SOTE, she is still an interesting character.
But that's just it!
MARIKA IS ROLE AS A CHARACTER IS THAT OF A VILLAIN!
SHE IS AN ANTAGONIST!!!
There are so many things she has done wrong and mostly for the wrong reasons. That makes her a villain. She is the firestarter— the person with the matches, the wood and the gasoline. She caused the conflict our Tarnished is up against while also being the reason the Tarnished even exist (cool twist, right?) The only redeeming factor about her is that she eventually realized the Greater Will is bullshit, her Golden Order is fatally flawed and that it falls on her to to go "Fuck it- I'm switching sides and fixing this shit."
However, that's the only time she tries to fix her own mistakes and by then, for most of her crimes, it's far too late. There is no good way to fix the mess she's made. She can try but now the problem is way bigger than she can handle on her own (enter the Tarnished).
Due to this, she can't be labeled anti-hero or even an anti-villian. She is purely a villain through and through.
Now what gets me on a personal level, is the fact she's an absolutely terrible mother.
I mean, even with the clarity provided for Marika's reasons regarding the war in the Land of Shadow towards the Hornsent... I can't and will never get over the fact THAT SHE ABANDONED MORGOTT AND MOHG IN A SEWER AND LEFT THEM TO ROT WITH ALL THE OTHER INNOCENT OMEN BABIES (of which some INFANTS got MUTILATED and some of the poor babies couldn't survive the process).
For all the love she had for her first child, she still let Messmer rot in the Shadow lands (seemingly forever) and also take the blame for her war crimes. Sure he did this willingly but she is his mother and she abandoned him there and NO KID SHOULD TAKE THE BLAME FOR THEIR PARENTS' ACTIONS. She also turned him into Elden Ring's biggest war criminal. War is his whole purpose, yikes. I get their relationship is complex (which is great for angst and plot material) but like she definitely wasn't that loving towards Messmer anymore than she probably was towards Miquella and Malenia (who are both cursed as well). She did try to help Messmer with the seal for the serpent but she didn't do jack shit for Malenia who was LITERALLY ROTTING. I think the only kid she genuinely loved was Godwyn who was supposedly "perfect".
Obviously Marika can't handle or be trusted with a child who has some sort of "defect" (according to the Golden Order).
Even with the Greater Will breathing down her neck, no parent in their right mind would do even half of the things she's done with her children. Most parents would rather kill themself or find ANY alternative than hurt their kid. Any decent parent would protect their kid/s with their life... but not Marika.
Therefore (and including the fact that Marika's religion is literally cancer because her religion involves genocide, xenophobia and endless war)—
She is possibly one of the worst mothers ever.
The only thing SOTE did was give her a sympathetic background. Yeah the living jar thing is fucking awful, yeah her own people suffered a possibly routine holocaust, yeah she is the last of her village left... Yup she's definitely gonna be fucked up after that BUT that doesn't give her any right to fuck every one else's lives up...
INCLUDING HER OWN CHILDREN'S LIVES.
Revenge is one thing— what Marika's done is another.
While Marika is a great villain and I love her for that (I love a good villain who has well thought out but fucked up reasons for doing what they do— I'll admit the child abandonment and mutilation is definitely pushing it though) but her goddamn sympathetic backstory will NEVER excuse her crimes.
She kick-started one of the worst cycles of abuse and suffering to the point that there is hardly anyone left after the main events of the Shattering. Everything is destroyed, countless dead or in various states of severe suffering, the Golden Order is hanging by a thread and for what?
I can't get over the fact that by the time our Tarnished becomes Elden Lord, it's kinda like "Who cares?" There's like 12 people left to rule over (that don't actively want you dead). The economy is non-existent. The land is fractured and mostly destroyed. You've got like 3 different outer gods mooching on the chaos and destruction. If you complete SOTE, every demigod (except Ranni) is dead, as well as Radagon and Godfrey.
The apocalypse happened but the aftermath was worse.
Marika caused that.
A traumatized girl became a vengeful goddess and death was her legacy.