Positivity blog

Today's gentle reminder💕

[Image ID: a screencapped tweet by @/TimHuttonAu that reads

"There's a narrative in our society re: mobility aids that they should be used as a last resort. Ie. Not a moment before or after we absolutely need them. On the contrary, we should encourage people to use mobility aids when they might help prevent a condition deteriorating.

End image id]

the day i realized that you could use a wheelchair not because you couldn’t walk right that moment but specifically so that you *could* walk later my entire view on the world changed

Don’t lose hope. 🐢

It’s okay to live for the little things like a new season of your show, a new book in a series, the want to see a sunset again. It’s okay if you’re living out of spite. It’s okay if you’re living because your pet wouldn’t understand why you never came home. It’s okay if you’re living because someone needs you.

While it’s nice to want to live for you, to heal and whatever else, sometimes that’s not in reach. And that’s okay. Grasp whatever little reasons pull you. They’re valid. I’m just happy you’re living.

for those who are devastated about the election results right now, here’s your gently reminder to take some time offline, read your favorite book, write that fic you’ve been wanting to write, play with your pets, watch that film on your to-watch list, rewatch your comfort tv show, drink some water, get yourself something delicious, have a nice and relaxing bath, look at the pretty skies and take a deep breath. you’ve survived this far and you will continue to survive. this is not the end ♡

There is a future for you. There is a life worth living. Even if it seems far off or unimaginable, I promise, there is a world where you wake up and go about a life that you enjoy that is filled with small wonders.

It’s okay to take a step back to take care of yourself. Your mental health is important. Don’t feel guilty because you’ve felt worse before and kept going. You’re not weak because you’re taking a break, you’re strong because you’re taking care of yourself!

it’s never too late to start again. 5pm on a thursday can be your new monday. you don’t have to wait until the new year to better yourself. time is an illusion, don’t forget that. just because you woke up at 1pm, it doesn’t mean you messed your whole day up and that you can’t turn the mood around. it’s never too late to start again!!!

Saying "no" is allowed, saying "no" is important, no matter how someone might react, it's not your job to make everyone happy and go along with every wish people have. Be ok with telling people no.

Don’t forget to pause every once in a while to appreciate the beauty around you 😌

You might not see it, you might not feel it; but darling, you have so much potential.

please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job. don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. if/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. but there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. while it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future. 

hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak

Also. Breath with your mouth and not your nose. Your nose will whistle. Trust me. If you need to get into your fridge, jab your finger into the rubber part that seals the door closed and create a tiny airway. This will prevent the suction noise when you open the door. When drinking liquids (juice mostly), pour out your glass (or chug from the jug) and replace what you drank with water. If it was full enough in the beginning, no one will notice. DO NOT STEAL ALCOHOL. THEY WILL NOTICE IF IT’S WATERED DOWN. Bring a pillowcase for dried foods like cereal and granola. It helps to muffle the sound it makes when it pours.

If your house has snack packs (like gummy bears or crackers or chips), count them every day until you know the rhythm that they get consumed. (This took me a week and a half with my twin brother and sister). Then join the rhythm when you make your nightly visits. It will be that much harder to figure out it was you.

KEEP A TRASH BAG UNDER YOUR BED FOR WRAPPERS AND STUFF BUT DONT FORGET TO THROW IT OUT WHENEVER YOU CAN. BUGS YKNOW. Hope this helped.

I might have some useful info to add.

-a jar of peanut butter is long lasting and easy to hide under a bed or in a dresser drawer. I lived off of jars of peanut butter and boxes of saltine crackers I would buy on grocery trips with my mom.

-two words: Slipper Socks. These are the socks that have rubber designs on the bottom for grip. They make no noise, and also keep you steady on slicker surfaces like tile and wood. You can find them cheap at Walmart. They also keep your feet more protected if you’re outside.

-if you’re secure enough in your room to have a small food stash, make sure you’re not too obvious about it (duh) but also move its location every few days. I kept mine in a shoebox under my bed, then switched it to a backpack in my closet, then wedged between my bookshelf and wall, and I would cycle locations until i moved it permanently to a false-bottomed drawer I installed in my dresser when my father was gone for a weekend. I would NEVER put food directly into my stash after taking it. I would keep it in pockets of my clothes and between books until everyone went to sleep, then I’d stock and stow my stash for the next few days.

-get a water bottle with a filter in it. I used to be able to reach my bathroom from my bedroom door down the hall using a huge step or minor jump/leap. If I was afraid of being caught at night, I’d fill up the humidifier tank we kept under our sink while I took a short shower, and would refill my water that way. It might not be the best option, but I kept a small stockade of water under my bed for emergencies.

-if you can, smuggle your garbage out in your backpack or purse. Dispose of it at work/school. I got caught twice by carelessly throwing away packaging.

-if someone knows the situation you’re going through (close friend/partner/etc) see if there’s a way for them to get food or other supplies to you at school or work or what private time you may get. A hidden first aid kit literally saved parts of my body before and I owe it to a close friend.

-try learning the building’s natural rhythm. The house I grew up in would creak and settle heavily every night for 3-5 minutes. That was my shot, and I had to be QUICK. I still got caught a few times, but learning the patterns in our floors and walls, when they creaked, WHERE they creaked, kept me going. Eventually I was sprinting in slipper socks to the kitchen and back in less than 90 seconds.

-if you have stairs, or live upstairs. Sit as you go down them one at a time, or climb up them like an animal. It keeps you low/out of lots of motion sight, and also can reduce noise and creaking by distributing weight over more than 1-2 steps.

-You can use common hand sanitizer to remove the stains certain snack foods leave behind (coughs cheeto fingers) and a dry toothbrush can help scrub the color off your tongue. If you can get powdered toothpaste or toothpaste tabs to keep on hand, it makes a huge difference in sneakiness.

-I don’t recommend going for dried foods like granola or cereal unless you can sneak it to a secure place to get it. It’s too loud, it’s a gamble every time for something with less caloric intake than it’s worth if you get caught. Of course, there are times when that’s the only option!!

-if you’re taking milk, add water, but be SURE to shake/agitate the bottle to distribute the dairy fat with the water. I got into the habit of shaking milk jugs when I started sneaking it, and explained the habit as something I read in an old comic strip my father showed me. (Back when whole milk had a lot more cream fats and they’d separate, so shaking it would redistribute the cream.) I still shake milk jugs to this day.

-if your windows open or don’t have screens, eat leaning out an open window. Any food mess will be lost in the dirt. I was lucky I had bushes and birds outside that would catch my granola bar crumbs before anyone could notice.

-canned goods are tempting, but not worth it. It requires too many tools (can opener/strained sometimes/utensils/some need heat) stick to thinks like various nut butters (sunflower/peanut/almond), crackers, dried fruit, and easy to conceal food bars (nature valley/nutrigrain/etc.) dried ramen packets are good uncooked if you can stand the texture. Apple sauce and pudding cups are also easier to sneak and stash than one might think, and can be eaten with your fingers. The only canned foods I recommend are condensed soups and precooked pasta (spaghetti-o’s). You can easily mix them with a little bit of hot water from the tap and get something more sustaining than a handful of captain Crunch. The cans are cheap, sometimes recyclable, and drinking soup takes way less time than chewing solid food.

-if you menstruate, attempt to stash pads/tampons in a safe location. Sometimes shit happens. Pads can work as bandages in emergency situations. Sometimes shark week comes unexpectedly. If you can sneak a roll of toilet paper or paper towels, these are also life savers.

-plastic utensils from takeout containers can be hidden inside socks and will be worth their weight in gold when you least expect it. I bought myself a tiny plastic bowl from the dollar store and kept cheap trinkets in it on my desk so it didn’t seem like a bowl I was eating out of. You could try this with something like a mason jar, which is also useful for drinking out of or storing water.

-if you’re eating a crunchy or solid food, try soaking it in water. Mushy food can be repulsive in texture, but I could clock the sound of someone eating a nature valley oat bar from like 6 miles away. Dunking it in water (or using a secret bowl+water) can reduce noise, and also eating time since you don’t have to chew as much.

-keep a laundry bar or tide pen on you. Laundry bars are super useful, a little hard to find though. I washed a lot of stains out of my clothes with laundry bars in my bathroom sink as a kid. Not proud if it, but it kept me flying under the radar at school.

-clear rubber bands, plain twine or string, paper clips, and thumb tacks. Indescribably useful. I once rigged a system to open tricky cabinets and get objects from inside using two paper clips and a foot of plain string like a mock lasso system.

-if you’re pulling objects from tall cabinets, use your chest or stomach to cushion them. Let them fall into your torso and then into your hands cradled underneath. Not as loud, not as much grabbing, if someone sees it they can mistake it for it falling on you by the body language.

-get a bandana. Or four. Napkins, bandages, tool, and accessory all in one.

-get a tiny sewing kit. I’m talking 3 needles and a spool of thread tiny. Scissors if you can sneak it. See things into your clothes. Make hidden pockets or compartments. Threadbanger on YouTube did a video a few years ago about sneaking things into music festivals using tiny clothing mods, but they may be useful in sneaking money or medicine.

-on the topic of sneaking money. don’t take bills, take change. If your abusers don’t meticulously count their nickels and pennies, they’re an easy(ish) way to build up a tiny savings pool. I found nickels the least noticed coin I took, even more than pennies, and taking two every few nights from where they’d be tossed on our countertop soon built up to a semi-reliable fund I passed off to someone to get me food for my stash without having to sneak it from the kitchen. As soon as I became “independent” in my food storage, I was subjected to much less scrutiny. I managed to build up a solid 1-2 week ration supply after hoarding change.

-you can tape SD cards to the inside of book dust covers(the part that folds inside the actual cover of the book), if you have a sewing kit or zipper on it inside the stuffing of your pillow (trim a corner, stuff it inside, stitch it closed) or (this is final resort) VERY CAREFULLY remove the covering from your outlet and tape it to the wall stud before replacing the casing. I kept mine inside part of my wooden bed frame that I hollowed out using, you guessed it, take out silverware knives and 4 nights without sleep.

-THE FLOOR IS LAVA WAS KEY TRAINING FOR ME AS A CHILD. I learned to take pillows with me, climb on furniture to disrupt my flow of movement, toss a pillow down, and use that to cushion any rattle our living room could give off as I crept to the kitchen from the side entrance so my mom’s dog wouldn’t bark or alert anyone. I highly suggest crawling around on all fours like some sort of beast to stay out of sight.

-can you run your house blindfolded?? If you can’t. Maybe you should try to learn. I suffered some heavy eye traumas growing up and had a collective 3-4 months just IN THE DARK. Eyes bandaged, left alone. It was terrible, but damn if I couldn’t navigate the whole place silently, without any visual cues. This helps a lot with the whole moving around in the dark thing, too. Listening is obviously key.

-if your parents start getting suspicious, or you’re suspicious they’re getting suspicious, watch out for traps. String on the ground that gets shifted when you walk on it. Baby powder or flour left to track footprints or doors opening/closing. My dad was partial to wrapping a bungee cord around my doorknob and attaching it to the closet across the hallway. I wouldn’t be able to open my door enough to get out, or if I did, I risked ruining the structural integrity of the wrappings he did, and he would notice.

-learn to tie some knots. Strong ones. They’ll come in handy at one point or another.

-remember that you’re not totally alone. There’s people out there for you. Wanting to make everything better. You don’t deserve what’s happening, it isn’t normal, and you will eventually find help. But staying safe is important, and you are important.

It upsets me that people might need to know these but I know it could really help someone by reblogging

ALWAYS REBLOG

Things that have helped me over the years:

•Keeping a $10 bill on the inside of my phone case for emergencies. My mother will search my wallet and bags but has not taken my phone case off when she takes my phone as of yet.

•stashing loose change I find in the soil of my potted plant. Very quiet hiding place for coins. All bills are quickly confiscated but coins I have managed to hold onto this way

•changing food stash locations constantly. A good stash I’ve found is buried in my mice seed mix. Small packages or granola bars can fit in there pretty easily and the wrappers are flushable (I know it’s bad to flush them but my trash is routinely searched)

• always deleting online traces in case of phone/computer search. This includes search history, forbidden apps, messages, pictures, notes, games, etc. I don’t know how many times I have deleted the tumblr app during the day only to re download it late at night to use it. My phone and computer are constantly confiscated and gone through with a fine tooth comb. I delete anything I might possibly get in trouble for after I use it and re download it when I need it again. Don’t delete all your browsing history though, they will notice if it’s suspiciously empty. Fill it with safe and approved stuff and remove anything you might get punished for.

•learning what each and every door in the house sounds like so I know who is where at all times without having to leave the room

•learning where those ‘sweet spots’ are in the house where you can notice anyone coming before they can see you or what you are doing

•always having a pre-approved cover. I use books and preaching videos as covers. I can hide a phone in a book or quickly switch apps to the one playing the video if surprised or discovered.

• always being aware of ‘the trail’. If I tell a friend something who tells their sibling who tells my sibling who tells my mom I get punished so basically tell no one and it won’t come back to bite you. This includes talking about tv shows/movies that are forbidden, forbidden foods/drinks, activities, apps, games, friends, political views, etc. Express an opinion and it’s bound to reach someone you don’t want it to.

•never take from your abuser’s personal stash of food or money. The family pantry is fair game to carefully pilfer from and so is loose change but never take from their personal purse/wallet, fridge, pantry, or stash. They WILL find out.

•beware of traps and manipulation . My mother will leave money and food unattended and wait for it to disappear. She will also act like she wants to do a good thing and help you out but in the end you will pay for it a hundred times over. Avoid this if at all possible.

• NEVER develop a false sense of security. I have made the mistake of not deleting an app (Pinterest) because there had been a few weeks between phone searches and I felt a little safer. I got caught and severely punished. ALWAYS COVER YOUR TRACKS. Don’t get too confident in your methods, eventually they will find something. Make sure it’s something minor.

I just want to point out that when deleting apps, make sure to check that the app store you use doesn’t record what was recently installed. I know that the Google Play Store does this and allows you to delete things from your history, but I don’t know anything about Apple.

Apple does, in the purchased section of an account, so don’t have a false sense of security for apple apps and always try to use websites with no cookies.

Apps for screeensharing to TVs (such as Samsungcast) also have search tools so if you clear your history you can also use that and make sure to clear it. Just don’t play a video or it might end up showing on the TV screen.

I feel so sad that so many of you guys go through this all the time. Rebooting to spread the word.

Stay safe my lovelies

So, so unfortunately important. Reblogging because I would’ve loved to have had seen this growing up - I figured most of it out on my own, of course, but through an amount of trial, error, and traumatic consequences no child should ever have to go through.

-if your bedroom door was anything like mine, there is a large enough gap from the floor to the bottom of the door that anytime I got out of bed or walked around the room, the door would jangle. Try putting a small but heavy object flush against the door.

-bring a large cup to pee in when it is not safe for you to leave your room or space. be sure to sneak it down a drain as soon as possible.

-other foods to stash away include trail mix, breakfast bars, fruits and veggies. a couple slices of bread and cheese aren’t as easily missed either.

-i have had luck taping paper money to the underside of our rug.

-be aware that you will likely carry the weight of this time with you for a long while. most of my nightmares still take place in my childhood home, where i haven’t lived in over five years.

-but above all else, this time won’t last forever. you will make it out. i’ve got faith in you.

Hey @mrsmamarhodey idk if you’ve seen this but it’s good advice? I hate that anyone would have to go through this but I feel it may help Honey? ~ Foxy

Bee I will protect you with everything. ~ A

For all of my kids in unsafe home situations. I love you, be safe.

Also, for those of you in situations where you are not believed: as tempting as it is do NOT try and prove it with your phone. Especially if they search it. Please, please don’t do that. Find another way if you absolutely must prove the mistreatment.

-Avoid plastic and paper. They russle a lot, especially when you’re trying to be quiet. As stated above pillowcases are a godsend.

-If you can access the kitchen during the day (and not get caught doing this) move things you might need, granola on the shelf you can only just barely reach? Pull one bar out and slip it to the lowest shelf in the whole kitchen. Put it somewhere no one will check.

-The bottom of a trash can is NOT a good hiding spot. Tempting I know. I’ve hidden a secret stash under a trash bag. Played it off a few times as being a good kid and taking out the trash. But you would have to be the one to always take it out if you did this. Always. You can’t rely on ‘probablies’.

-Self aid. Go to your school nurse and ask for Band-Aids. School computer lab have alcohol pads so you can clean off the mouse? Take some. They will hurt and burn but a clean wound is so much better than an infected one.

-For those of you with allergies to the Staples (peanut butter, bread, cheese, the like) Beans are your new best friend. They suck but hey, they work.

-AVOID SWEETS. This sucks I know. But sweets leave more behind than a chocolate colored tongue, including a sweetened breath (I got busted so badly once even after scrubbing my tongue.)

And finally,

-Find people you can talk to. My messages are always open, @mrsmamarhodey is here for people as well, and many other blogs will listen. Even if there is nothing else we can do. We will listen. We will believe you. We will be there for you in what ways we can. Please, be safe. Stay alive.

I can’t believe that there are actually kids who are forced to live like this. It makes me so upset. I am now very concerned about the people on this site. Please, all of you, stay safe.

there are things in the list that i personally also have to do, some i don’t have to, and tips i could definitely take for the unknown future. anyways, reblogging this in hopes that it could offer a chance for some of you to stay at least a bit safer. remember, we’re all fighting this together

oh, god.

I know it’s the log-off protest but just before I left the app I saw this.

This was a pretty helpful post, but i do hope none of my followers need this.. 

can i adopt you guys???? nobody should have to go through this, and it breaks my heart :/

just know that it WILL get better. maybe not now, maybe not for years to come but this will not last forever. ily ♥

Thank you so much for this.

This doesn’t really match my blog theme but it doesn’t matter. I have some things to add:

To anyone who needs any of the advice above or in similar posts: Good luck, stay safe, and remember that one day this will be over and you will be safe. I know it’s tough but keep going. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.

I absolutely wept when I read this. I remember being a kid and living at home, having to do most of these things to keep myself safe and alive. I’m so sorry that their are so many of you who are going through this. If this is something you’re going through and you just want someone to talk to about it all my inbox is always open. From one survivor to another.

I am so, so sorry.

i know ive reblogged this countless times, but this has some really important additions, please stay safe guys <3

I know this is not ToG related, but, if this can help …

learn to sew,if you can do it well you can open up stuffed animals and fill them with whatever as long as it’s small and not likley to be notice

if you never turn a fan on you can tape ska stuff to the top of it, idk if it will hold if the fan turns on

if you have a trusted friend have them store stuff in their locker/get a lock and put it on an unused locker that way even if they know your locker they can’t get to your stuff

for those who need it

I would hope no one needs to use this but I know there are people that do this for you guys

We got you

Seriously

We’re here for you

Everyone is

For everyone who needs this

Stay safe please

i don’t remember seeing this on the list but during the day i go up and down the stairs and through the house to memorize all the creaky spots so i can avoid them at night

stay safe guys <3

@its-my-mental-breakdown

Thank you darling, I plan on using these tips for my.own hell hole of a house

This is horrible that people have to deal with and also I have a small tip: if your house has a radiator/heater (like mine), time how long it goes on and then when it turns on, RUN and get what you need. I love you all and stay safe!

Sorry for the long ass post but as a child who deals with this, I’ve got a few things to add. -KEEP SOMETHING MINOR THAT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE. This may seem counterintuitive, but that way if your parents say you’re acting suspicious, you can turn their attention away from something bigger. Additionally, if they catch you nd you have to lie, DON’T go for the classic “I don’t know anything” or “I didn’t do that.” Take the situation and make it a little bit bad but not too much. Example: I had kept scissors in my room for sewing, which I wasn’t supposed to have. So what I did was I said that I had gotten a ponytail holder stuck in my hair and had to cut it out, but that I was scared they would get mad so I hid them. -As for money, I took a pad out of the wrapper and threw it out, and then used the wrapper to hold money and taped it shut. I kept that in my bag, as if it were a pad for emergencies, and they never suspected. -If you’re sneaking into the kitchen, fill up a glass with water and stand there for a few minutes drinking it until you’re sure no one is coming to check on you. That way if they do catch you, you can say you were getting a drink of water.

Sjdvkhfufk this was super helpful thank you to everyone who added to this

if u have a vent on ur wall near the ceiling, u can clean the dust away n store things there

always have an escape route mapped out

always have an escape bag, just in case. mine has an extra phone charger, my wallet, a sewing kit, a re-usable water bottle, extra underwear, toilet paper, headphones, a grocery bag, and a small blanket

if u can, try to get a pair of boots that are good for navigating wooded areas

study foraging. u never know how useful info about toxic and non-toxic plants can be

stay safe out there, babes. hope none of u ever have to use these tips

It hurts to know so many of us have had to use info like this just to survive. I’m by o means a popular blog, but I hope anybody who see’s this will either gain some merit from it or repost it for others to see. It sucks living like this, and it follows you well into your life, but sometimes that’s the reality.

Stay safe everyone. You can do this. 

I don’t know WHO needs this right now, but I’m going to reblog this anyway.

Idc that it’s not SdV related.

Hate that this is stuff that people need to know, but it’s important that the people who need this information have it.

Idk if this will work for other people but sometimes I’m able to wrap a blanket around myself and hide stuff under it if my parents are in the way. I use it a lot to sneak food and water upstairs and I can just pass it off as being cold. I’m an absolute freeze baby so they’re not suspicious. Just be sure to make the blanket a semi-common thing, not just when you’re sneaking stuff around. 

Oh and you can put things like crackers, pretzels, and cereal in clean socks (or just a small bag if you have one) if you can’t take the whole container. Just make sure to switch the socks around every now and then because crumbs are a bitch. 

You can also hide food in bras if you wear them. Mostly granola bars for me. If it sticks out then try wearing baggy clothing over it. 

Somethings I’ve done that I can think of rn -jamie

- use private/anon browsing when searching shit you don’t want to get caught for, search appropriate stuff on main

- always have a friend you can claim you were texting if they ask why are you typing on your phone. Someone who has an extensive history with you and your fam and they trust

- always have a friend you can call and claim you were talking to instead of watching something/calling other people

-after work, I would “take cash out for lunch as they don’t take card” usually only $20 a week ish but managed to save a good $1k ish in the end with this tactic

- hiding notes in books, they don’t tend to get searched much. Choose books you haven’t read/don’t read often, it’s less likely they’ll be confiscated or removed from your room

- stand on wooden unmoving shit, nothing with wheels and nothing made of fake wood (can break) or moving metal

- if your door doesn’t lock, look up different ways so you can lock it (different doors = different ways)

- if your not allowed to close your door, make sure your bed isn’t in immediate view of said door way. Move it into a more sheltered area, same with anything valuable or vulnerable. Gives them less ideas

- move your desk/study area to somewhere where they can’t immediately see you.

- never have both head phones in, I don’t care if you can study better, don’t do it

- never wait for them to call you twice

There’s more but I can’t remember rn I’m about to pass out I swear

my parents are assholes to me, but I thank god they’re not physically abusive

rb. even if it doesn’t match your “theme”.

This is literally one of the most helpful posts I’ve ever seen on this website period.

it’s so heartbreaking that ppl have to deal with bad parents :(

pls rb this if u can

I should probably reblog here too

I don’t know who needs this but I ain’t taking chances. I didn’t know people could be this horrible, but since I’ve been proved wrong, I’d better help the right side.

Everybody says congratulations when you get a new job, or start a business, or buy a house, or have a baby, or get married, or buy a new car...

I just wanted to take a second out of the day to say congratulations to all of you who made it through a hard week this week.

Congratulations to those who are holding it together for the sake of the people you love.

Congratulations to anyone who thought about taking the easy way out and decided to stick around for a while longer.

Congratulations for showing up. Again.

You deserve all the love too.