So I was notified by people on Twitter that there was another Variety article published Saturday, aka yesterday, talking about the backlash. Variety said they reached out to Ryan, Shane, and Steven for comments but received NO reply. This is crazy af considering Variety was the company that gave WatcherTV its initial PR. They really are just letting this blow up in their faces.

Midnight Pals: Spicy Stories

JK Rowling: hello children Poe: oh Poe: oh joanne Poe: you're back Rowling: i have concernss Poe: uh we're mostly about just telling stories here Poe: you have your own campfire for your terf stuff don't you? Rowling: yess but they've really been getting on my nervess lately

Rowling: you know how it iss with terf deatheaterss Poe: not really Rowling: alwayss agreeing with everything i ssay Rowling: all "oh yes dark lord" this and "oh spare me dark lord" that Rowling: ssometimess you jusst get tired of hearing "masterful gambit dark lord"

Rowling: i tell you, you don't know how hard it is to run a cult L Ron Hubbard: oh yeah woof big mood Hubbard: people think its all fun, but its actually a lot of work Rowling: I know right????

Poe: regardless, joanne, i'm going to have to put my foot down Poe: this campfire is just for stories Rowling: uhhh actually i do have a new ssstory Rowling: i wass insspired to write after having an argument on the internet Barker: oh damn no shit? Barker: that's wild

Rowling: it's a new harry potter ssstory King: oh man! it's about time, i've been hoping for a new potter story for ages! Rowling: itss about hermione going back in time to help grindelwald, who actually had sssome good points if you think about it

Rowling: i call it Rowling: the time turner diariesss Barker: wow this is not really funny anymore Baker: its like INTENSELY not funny Lovecraft: catchy title tho!

Rowling: i'm retconning grindelwald into a misundersstood idealisst Rowling: who was only forced to make hard choicess because of the unreassonablenesss of decadent weimar society

Rowling: oh also you know that thing where people kept criticizing me cuz technically grindelwald's "evil" plan was to prevent the holocaust? Rowling: well good news Rowling: i've rectified that little mistake

Rowling: like, why would the naziss target transs & queer people, traditionally the most powerful and widely accepted memberss of ssociety? Rowling: would not the naziss, famouss for their love of diverssity, actually approve of them? Rowling: i'm jusst asskin questions

King: actually joanne there's a lot of well-documented evidence Barker: give it up steve King: no no i can fix this King: i'm sure if i just lay out the facts in a logical, well-reasoned manner- Barker: oh god that's so cute Barker: don't you just love him? Poe: that's our steve

King: so you see the nazi book burning of the institute for sexualwissenschaft- Rowling: nope Rowling: didn't happen King: King: well it kinda did, see, as i was saying- Rowling: thiss iss missogyny

Rowling: i don't undersstand you lot at all Rowling: i come into your campfire, i make a sstatement that i really want to be true & you all refuse to accept it Rowling: thiss issn't the way it works over with my terf deatheaters at all Rowling: they love accepting things i ssay!

Rowling: it'ss actually really missogynisstic that you all refusse to accept what i'm ssaying asss truth Rowling: even though you all know how badly i want it to be true King: but joanne, it isn't true- Rowling: ssave it for court ssteve!

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers Shelley: i got here late wot's going on? Barker: joanne is doing holocaust denial Rowling: EXCUSE ME it'ss only holocausst denial if you quesstion the murder of jews Rowling: tho now that i think about it i do have some questionss

Rowling: like, would they not have ussed their goblin magic to essscape? Lovecraft: ya know, she makes a good point Sonia Greene: i'm right here howard Lovecraft: Greene: see, this is why i don't talk much

people online will just say "I don't trust the Chinese" as if that's normal and not the sort of thing a cartoon racist would say out loud

I really need to do more studying and write an essay on how Americanism is a genuine folk religion which reveres capital and the vague concept of "the free market" as a god of providence to be pleased in order to lead a prosperous life, also that the founding fathers are prophetic, perhaps even messianic figures who basically gave birth to this god through the revolutionary war, and that the vast majority of conservative Christians in America revere capital more than the god they claim to serve in an ironic sort of golden calf situation.

I think you're just stupid, bro

Apotheosis of Washington

1800–1802 John James Barralet

There is a trend amongst depictions of the founding fathers to show them as literal christ figures, a trend that started very early in the nation's life.

I'd also like to point out Washington & Lincoln Apotheosis, artist unknown, about 1865, the same year as lincoln's assasination

The personification of America in the form of Columbia, a goddess of both the land and the concepts that America tends to inhabit. A pre-anime Hetalia. She was often used in depictions of Manifest Destiny, a religions ideal that stated that America, by God's will, must go from coast to coast.

American Progress by, John Gast, 1872. Note the indigenous people cast in literal darkness, away from the light. The religions deification of America relies upon colonialism and white supremacy

Here's ANOTHER painting called the Apotheosis of George Washington depicting him as an angel sitting with Roman deities. This one is in the Rotunda of the U.S. Capitol

thanks, tumblr

THANK GOD

Go to your settings, dashboard preferences, and it'll be there to disable :)

I may not be able to point out kansas on a map but i do know that once i rose above the noise and confusion just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion

What’s happening with this post

everyone remember to place a tetanus shot above ur door tonight so andrew dabb won't kill ur firstborn bisexual

absolutely LIVING for the backpedaling he’s doing rn

heads up this is a fake post and also it made me choke on my rice and earned me confused/concerned looks from my roommate and now my throat hurts so psa practice safe scrolling kids. don’t dinner and destiel.

x

IT’S THAT FUCKING CHOCOLATE GUY AGAIN

NEW CHOCOLATE VIDEO JUST DROPPED

WILL THIS MAN NEVER CEASE

POV: you're perfumegenius working at Zales Jewelry in 2014

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

there are only two genders: frog and pig

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

oh god

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like

So do with that what you will

Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.

In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.

This is the worst addition to this post

I am reminded of Treasure Planet.

In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies

I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?

Or is that just something my brain made up?

i think you are all forgetting some crucial information here:

So, Glumshoe and @sailor-lady asked if there was a ritual where they invited a hand to animate their children.

Muppet Babies is canon.

and i dont see any fucking hands.

This has dark implications all over it.

@therobotmonster im just saying, if i offered you $200 and a pizza of your choosing, whats the best headcanon you would come up with for my proposed issue?

I can circle that square with a few pieces of canon. We start out with Kermit on SNL:

The muppets are a form of life, perhaps not quite like our own, but one with its own orders and genuses and the like. Robin goes from tadpole to frog stage on Muppet Babies, after all, that’s a biological life process. Note that muppets keep sewing/stitching/hand jokes to a minimum, that’s because they aren’t puppets, they just resemble them. 

The hand-thing presumes muppets work like toons from Roger Rabbit or toys from Toy Story, where they’re made by people an incarnated. I propose they are like Pokemon, a separate, parallel classification of life that exists alongside what we would call natural life. As with Pokemon, these lifeforms are not the result of a parallel evolution. Rather, their various kinds were created by some manner of God. We know these exist in the Muppet canon, as Big Bird argued the Egyptian Pantheon into letting a child ghost into the afterlife that one time. 

Personally, as the essence of being a muppet is your greatest motivation being your greatest weakness, I blame the demiurge. 

But you can blame Gonzo’s people or the aholes that are made of a Skexis and a Mystic, but not the Goblin King (he is a rogue memetic construct, what some might wrongly label a ‘tulpa’).  It’s also possible they crossed over from the Gorg world. (but that does not preclude them from also being the creations of the demiurge)

This is not to say that muppets are inherently magic, any more than say, a hobbit or a goblin is “magic” in Lord of the Rings. They are simply created beings that thereafter reproduce after their own kind. Emmit Otter and his Ma, the fact that “Monster” and “grouch” are explicitly races in Sesame Street, etc. 

Now, I hear you saying, “but [email protected], you handsome madman, we just pointed out that Fozzie and Kermit have a green half-bear/half-frog father!”

Yes. In a movie.

Because the Muppets are actors. 

Muppets (the order of life) and the Muppets (the comedy/acting troupe), are different things. The former contains the latter but the latter does not contain all of the former. In essence, Kermit named his endeavor “The People’s Theater”. 

Breaks down like this: You have our, real world universe. Within that is nested a universe that is much like ours, except it is sillier, and Muppets are creatures and not special effects. Within that are nested the fictional worlds of all the various muppet productions. 

For further proof, I present these bloopers from Emmet Otter’s Jugband Christmas:

It is uncertain how much of the Muppet ouvre is canonical ‘behind the scenes’ and how much is constructed entertainment provided by the Muppet organization, because of one deep wrinkle we haven’t touched on...

Kayfabe.

Kermit is hard-core about Kayfabe. He comes from a Vaudeville theater background, the 4th wall does not exist in his performance ethos, the show must go on, and the rubes getting a peek behind the curtain doesn’t get you off that hook.

All your Muppet-troupe core performers stick close to this ethos, ensuring you can never be quite certain on what level of reality the scene you’re being presented with is intended to be.Any specific example that conflicts with the others cannot be shown not to just be another straight-faced performance. 

It’s not an unreliable narrator, everyone is unreliable, from the producer on down to the go-fer.

Don’t blame me, blame the Demiurge.

(Here’s my Gofundme.)

This post got so much fucking longer since the last time I saw it. 

No...just stop...no one wants this...literally no one. No one gives a hot wet monkeys ass crack about Dean Jr. No one in their right mind will watch a spinoff about him.

i would pay money for this not to happen

Let them waste money on it and watch it fall into a black hole. They couldve milked us for money for years but instead they torched their own legacy.

I wouldve taken bloodlines over this. At least that had a somewhat interesting concept even if it was dumb as all shit.

i love spn tumblr. every day i see people post about a character i forgot about the minute they left my screen. sometimes that character is sam winchester

Season 14 is so funny because the titles are either like:

Ouroboros: the symbol of a snake eating its own tail, which is a metaphor for Jack burning off his own soul in an attempt to save his family, therefore losing a piece of himself. This also ties into the fable told in the episode itself about a snake that got too greedy with eating a chicken’s eggs which led to its death, which also parallels Jack, not knowing when to stop in order to get what he wants (killing Michael), leading to the death of the most important part of himself (his soul).

or

Jack in the Box: Jack gets put in a fucking box. what did you expect.

Moriah: A biblical allusion to where Abraham nearly killed his son Isaac in order to sacrifice him to God, which draws a parallel to Dean attempting to kill Jack, a person he views as a son. However, instead of killing his son in the name of God, he is killing him in the name of his mother, who he has put on a pedestal and worshipped for his entire life, romanticizing her as a symbol of the domestic life that was ripped away from him. This parallel is also drawn directly in the episode by God himself, to emphasize the fact that this is all a story for his own amusement, and he’s just replaying the same scenarios with different “characters.” Much like God ordered Abraham to kill Isaac, he then directly orders Dean to kill Jack, and reveals that he has influenced Dean’s decision and countless others in order to create a compelling story. This title draws parallels, makes biblical allusions, and emphasizes how an absent God has been creating horrific scenarios for Sam and Dean to act out their entire lives, despite the show’s theme of “free will.”

The Spear: You’ll never guess what kind of weapon the main characters need to find to defeat Michael