One Shot: I wish I could take back my words

Pairing: Justin H. Min x Black Plus Size Reader

"You-you just don't understand..." Justin sighed in frustration, the room thick with the ongoing tension between you two. A delightful, relaxing afternoon of the two of you cooking together, talking for hours and making some sweet love now had turned into an argument.

It all had started with a joke you had giggled out, mentioned that Justin's racist fans would maybe try to boycott the final season of The Umbrella Academy due to him dating a gorgeous black woman like you. At first, you thought that he'd laugh along with you because the idea was actually funny but once you were met with Justin's cold stare, you knew that you might have struck a nerve.

A big one even.

"What don't I understand, Justin? It was a stupid joke, of course your show will air its final season. Hundred thousands of people are eagerly waiting for it. Netflix won't consciously fumble their bag like that..." you explained with a sigh, slowly getting annoyed too now.

The two of you were sitting on the couch, not cuddling anymore but shooting cold glares at one another now. You did miss the soft warmth of your boyfriend's chest, the soft thumping of his steady heartbeat near your ear.

"Babe, the joke is offensive. Imagine one of my fans saying that about you? Wanting me to dump you due to your skin color...".

Your eyes widened at this statement while a dark cloud of anger started bubbling in your stomach.

"Wow" you huffed, shaking your head in disbelief while clenching your jaw. "Would you dump me for your fans?". The question shot out of you before you could even realize it. Your boyfriend blinked in shock as his cheeks suddenly changed into a soft pink shade. He didn't say a word.

Justin was prone to blushing for 3 reasons:

1. Embarrassment

2. Sexual arousal

3. Being caught doing something

Your eyes didn't leave his rosy cheeks as he suddenly struggled to create a sentence, tumbling over a few syllables as his eyes avoided your face.

"Talk to me..." you whispered, an uneasy feeling now creeping under your skin, a part of you wanting to run and hide but this was not the time for such foolery.

"I-I wouldn't...", your boyfriend hushed in a whisper so light, you easily could've overheard it.

"But..?" , you added.

"I've been having some doubts." , Justin finished. It was quiet after his statement as you needed a few seconds to actually chew over his words. This was new. Not once had you noticed or thought about your lover having doubts about your relationship. About you.

"My love" he gently whispered, panic slowly rising within him. This was not how he had planned to address his fears. The sight of you sitting there, shocked and speechless was very unpleasant. He knew that he had hurt you. He knew that he had reacted in the wrong way.

"What are your doubts about?" you asked, fixing your eyes back to his face while your heart sounded in your chest. Your fingers automatically started to tap softly against your thick thighs, a habit you had when you felt hurt or vulnerable.

"What if my fans could never accept our relationship? I've never dated outside my race and don´t get me wrong (Y/N)- I love our relationship...But I also feel like I´ve somehow turned my back towards like....my people...you know?", Justin finished, anxiety seeping through his body like a massive tidal wave. He had finally voiced his deepest worries and based off the look on your face, he knew that he had also hurt you.

All you could do was blink slowly, his words replaying themselves in your head. The painful pressure you felt in your chest was hard to ignore, the lump forming in your throat very hard to swallow. You were hurt, deeply.

"If...If you-", you could barely form a sentence. This wasn´t your first interracial relationship, you had gained enough experience to feel secure about yourself and your cultural background. But this was new.

"If you feel worried about turning your back on your people, then maybe you shouldn´t be with me..." you whispered, the words slowly killing you inside while you quickly got up in search for your shoes and purse. The need to just disappear growing by the second while you were frantically looking for your things.

"(Y/N), baby it wasn´t meant like that" Justin´s voice sounding higher than usual, he had shot up from the couch and was following you like a dog that had lost its owner. His eyes teared up while he desperately tried to get a hold of your arm, almost sobbing on the spot when you hissed and finally had put your shoes on, now looking for your damn purse.

I should have never said anything, you stupid idiot. Justin thought to himself. He wished that that he had never hushes a word. He couldn´t stand the thought of the two of you breaking up. You were the best thing that had happened to him. He had fallen for you the second his friend Emmy had introduced the two of you. Hell, the love you had blessed his life with was too good to be true, so good that his insecurities tried to sabotage it. Now, the consequences of his stupid actions were creeping up on him.

"Justin" you whispered in pain when he tried to hug you, the tears now having made their way down his soft cheeks. He was holding your hands, swallowing the pain while staring so sadly into your beautiful eyes, he was silently begging you to stay. All you could do was shake your head and mumble a soft "I don´t want you to feel bad for dating outside your race. Stay dating inside your group of people", and with that you quickly made your way out of his apartment, holding back the tears while you quickly made your way to your car and drove away, while your now ex-love was staring defeated into the space you were just standing in, slowly sinking to his knees as a soft sob left his mouth....

...Part 2?