So many asian guys have ended things because they couldn't accept or have any compassion for my anxiety •too scared to ask a question like, "how come you kind of stopped talking to me?" (Apparently this means I'm fucking WEAK) •too paranoid because I picked up something going on between a female roommate and my bf at the time. ("You need some help" they told me in the last message they sent to me) Or how about: "I can accept my child's disabilities, but I can't accept yours" "May be I could date a girl with anxiety, but that won't be you" "I validate my grandmas mental health issues, this musicians, but I have no compassion or space to accept your issues" "I don't believe in add, but I'll take add medication for school because it helps me concentrate despite the fact I don't believe in the existence of add"

I like how people without disabilities proclaim people (who also don't have disabilities) to be hardworking if they do well in a class. But you know, people with learning disabilities, according to them, aren't "hardworking" because we don't "do as well as able bodied people". Oh and I'm only regarded as hardworking if I do well. Btw if you message me as "you're fucking stupid", congratulations you're abelist! Don't use words like that towards people with disabilities.

So I'm thinking about my learning disabilities and writing statements and admissions for schools i'm applying too.

Able-bodied people tell me, even if your personal sytatement is good, your GPA is more important.

But you don't have a learning disability so an able-bodied person's personal statement even if it's about how their GPA is impacted by some problem in their life, it's kind of a dust particle compared to someone with a learning disability.

1)our learning disability never goes away. I will die with my learning disability.

2) it impacts my learning ability 24/7/265 when may7be your life crisis impacted a semester of your life

3)my learning disability impacts me in an umbrella of different ways

4) add in anxiety making it hard for me to complain about teachers who violated my accommodation rights, (aka discrimination) because i'm scared what they will do if they find out it was me and I complained.

5) oh yes let's not forget discrimination from teachers who (one did this) refused to grant me my disability accommodations (this is illegal , he could be fired for this). 

Please stop speaking for others when you say "ëveryone's personal statement is unimportant""obviously you know jack shit.

When you have a disability, it's hard to watch non-disabled people succeed in the areas where you are "disabled" in.

Unfair advantage bull shit

Accommodations for disabled students are limited so that they don't provide an "unfair advantage" for their Able-bodied peers BREAKING NEWS: No accommodation no matter how many I or any disabled person receives will ever give us an "unfair" advantage over a non disabled person, because we still even with our "unfair bullshit accommodations" still not be anywhere CLOSE TO THE LEVEL AN ABLE-BODIED PERSON FUNCTIONS. There is no unfair advantage this is equivalent to reverse racism. A disabled person can't have an advantage over someone who has an ability or abilities that the disabled person was born without or does not have anymore. Another great ablest rant:" y do these ppl keep bitching about wanting special snowflake parking spots, or captioned programmes on television? Just don't drive u lazy fakes or watch tv!!!"

On the bus to school today I was thinking about my learning disabilities, and the frequency I think/feel i' perceived as "dumb" by others. But then I put into the account of my racial ethnicities and the idea that my disabilities are "invisible"....

but then I thought about this:

If I was Black, my disabilities probably would not be acknowledged AT ALL. Instead the social concept that "black people are just dumb" would most likely be the reason for doing poorly in school. I probably would never be put on medication like I have since I was 5, or received any help. 

When it comes to learning disabilities, Blacks have it the hardest.

ADD

I have a X3 chance of developing dementia due to having ADD

This gives me ANOTHER reason why I, with a significant learning impairment should pursue science. There are even less people with disabilities in the science than there are women.

Most people I knew growing up with ADD didn’t go to college, many didn’t finish high school. There’s a reason for that. Regardless of the conception of being *slur here* “dumb” because we ADD people have trouble even medicated, grasping concepts across almost everything, as well as trouble following directions (when the teacher’s directions aren’t that clear and you perceive the assignment or w/e as being something different)

I’m not going to stop pursuing a science degree if I fail more classes, you know how fucking IMPORTANT it is for someone with a learning impairment, who is often held with low standards or seen as “dumb” to accomplish something that is challenging, and we are told to just “give up?”

I don’t care if you think I’m dumb because I fail tests. News flash I can do the homework, understand it I just don’t see concepts and little shit that I guess an able-bodied person can.

I don’t fucking get how my projection solution is proven correct by stating that “due to the initial angle being greater than the final, my entire solution is correct” it’s a logic issue, it’s a focus issue…I can’t focus on the points that your “clear as fucking day” to “everyone else”.

I experience memory loss, I have issues understanding people’s social behaviour and reading their actions. I’ve been in art classes where everyone (and literally everyone’s) drawing or sculpture looked similar expect Mine.

What are people like me supposed to just “give up” like my parents tell me too? What fucking good does that do?

There is a conceptual problem with processing information when one has ADD or ADHD.

You know, It's not really "accommodating" when teachers in higher math and science expect the same shit out of me as they do with the regular students in the class. AKA the ones without any learning disabilities. Holding me to the same standards as everyone else, makes it unfair for people like me because we have to work harder than everyone else in order to be in the class...a class that gives little fucks to people with disabilities. Best excuse for not granting me my approved extra time for a calc test "It's not fair for the text of the class if you're granted extra time (even though through DSPS you are) and everyone else isn't" Me: it's not fair to dismiss the American Disabilities Act of 1990 bro.(didn't say this)

I think it's really funny when I witness non-whites around me awe over people with English accents in America. •On a train to SF from Portland, the food clerk talked ALL the time to an English friend (guy) I made. He talked to him about European shit (the clerk did). Even though I was friends with the English guy, I didn't find him to be do friendly towards me. •This Latino guy and Asian-American in my physics class adore and talk more to this English girl than they do to me. Specifically when we did homework together (all four) the two guts trusted her answers and work than they trusted mine. Basically, my work wasn't really looked at as potentially helping either of them understanding any of the problems but hers was. She's better than me at mechanics. I thought it was funny too when a very clueless guy I explained a problem to (he didn't get very basic things) decided to all of a sudden sit next to me during the exam. (Yeah I was fucking suspicious). When I told the Latino guy about this he basically dismissed my case of the guy sitting next to me to cheat. "It's too hard to cheat" he said. Why the hell would he want to sit next to me then? It bothers me that I have to jeopardize my grades in a class by classroom testing environments when other non-add and anxiety ridden people aren't impacted by this shit.