headcanon: tony has tried to buy rhode island and rename it rhodey island multiple times

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

*thor hands peter a mug of beer*

Thor: Exellent work in the mission man of spiders!

Tony: Thor no the kid is 15.

Thor: Oh!

*hands peter two mugs of beer*

Thor: You are a growing boy.

Tony: Thor no.

EVERY TIME I SEE THIS POST IM WEAK

Team Revengers really is the winning team, if for no other reason than the power of friendship. Like Thor’s gunna roll up to earth with a spaceship full of people who love him and meet up with his team like “Hey guys, this is my new friend Valkyrie, and my new friend Korg, and my new friend Miek, and of course you know Heimdal, oh and I found Hulk, too! Its so good to have friends!” meanwhile Tony’s only friend is a teenager and Steve’s been eating rocks in a cave alone for a year. Team Thor all the way.

Team Stark on this post: Uhhh excuse you, Tony has tons of friends! The most friends! Like at least 6! but he still deserves so much more bc he’s amazing and a sad bb!! D:

Team Cap on this post: LET STEVE EAT ROCKS

Me, for the past ten years: Let Tony Stark cry on screen u fucking cowards

Tony Stark: *Cries on screen*

Me: ….,,,.whaT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING LISTENING TO ME I DIDN’T MEAN THAT PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR   S O   HELP ME G-

bucky manages to avoid being found until one night, with no warning, he shows up in tony’s kitchen. tony is understandably kind of alarmed when he finds an assassination sitting at his table, but bucky just kind of holds his arm out toward tony and very quietly tells him “i don’t know how to fix it myself”

Captain America: Civil War – the We Are All Rational Adults Version

(The more I think about Civil War the more annoyed I get)

Tony: okay so these Accords

Tony: obviously the fact we’ve only just heard of them and they’re being signed in 3 days and they’re fatter than all of us is some shit

Steve: language

Tony: but the fact is, we can’t just run around wherever we want punching people that we personally decide are bad guys

Tony: countries have the right to make their own laws and we can’t just ignore them because we’re really cool

Tony: (though we are)

Tony: anyway the fact is nobody actually voted for you to be President of Avengerdonia, steve, so we should like, obey the people we elected, like everyone else in the world does, this is how democracy works

Sam: i would vote for steve

Steve: i will be honest here

Steve: i have very much enjoyed being in charge with no restrictions

Steve: it has been very efficient and we’ve saved loads of lives (like loads)

Steve: however as i am not in fact a massive jerkhole dictator and i do believe in democracy

Steve: you are of course right we should get the nod from the government before we crash in anywhere to save the day, as long as that can be done quickly and effectively, and won’t mean that i’m completely banned from saving people

Steve: (because i have zero impulse control when it comes to saving people i just do it)

Tony: oh we know

Sam: everyone else would vote for steve too right natasha you’d vote for steve

Natasha:  no comment

Steve: i mean there are a couple of other things i want to talk about in these papers

Wanda: like the fact we’re not actually accountable for the actions of all supervillains everywhere?

Steve: yeah and the fact that it doesn’t specify that we can’t be thrown in a monstrous sea-jail without a trial or lawyers if we damage property while defending ourselves

Tony: wow steve we’re (mostly) US citizens do you really think we need to specify that?

Steve: i’ve read about ross

Steve: yes we do

Tony: okay then, how about we sit here and hash out our list of amendments and caveats, which they really should have consulted us about more than three days before they meet to sign this document that controls our lives, and we take our improved accords to vienna and talk about it there?

Steve: that sounds really sensible

Sam: wanda you vote for steve too right

Bucky: i do not vote for steve. i vote for anyone except steve. i vote for tony stank’s left shoe, because it is far less reckless than steve

Sam: dude you’re not even in this part of the movie yet

Bucky: i showed up early just to say don’t vote for steve

Tony: holy shit it’s the winter soldier

Bucky: ooooh steve doesn’t like that kind of language you know

Steve: go away and wait for your appropriate plot hook barnes what is this

fin

Every part of this but especially the last bit.

*SNORT*

Peggy Carter is Tony Stark’s godmother AU

When she wasn’t telling her godson bedtime stories about Captain America, she was pulling him out of his depression when his parents were killed. Either way, Tony Stark is the son she never had and Peggy is the loving guardian that Tony always deserved.

(this is my headcanon and I’m sticking to it. Also, yes, that is baby RDJ)

@cesperanza relevant to interests

Seriously!  Its like photographs out of the Road Not Taken-Verse!

Stark: I shouldn’t do anything. They could kill you, they’re gonna kill me, either way, and even if they don’t, I’ll probably be dead in a week. Yinsen: Then this is a very important week for you, isn’t it?

fun fact: it is possible to like Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes all at the same time   (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

In fact, Natasha Romanoff does this every day.

This is brilliant - thank you. 

Reblogging for the rest of the class.

I am becoming increasingly bad at resisting my urge to reblog Tony stuff but god damn people are doing an awesome job with the meta, this is very well put together.

Sorry, pal, but Iron Man doesn’t have a sidekick.

“be careful with my emotional baggage,” i say. “it’s designer.”

“be careful with mine, its vintage.”

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

aesthetics: tony stark

“i shouldn’t be alive… unless it was for a reason.”