mouthporn.net
#hp comic – @pistachioinfernal on Tumblr
Avatar

Words Have Power

@pistachioinfernal / pistachioinfernal.tumblr.com

ON HIATUS: Be brave, be kind. Feminist, socialist, anti-fascist, she/her. I once asked Chuck Tingle if he might write a kids book. AO3. Multifandom blog. About. Follow 'wholesome' tag for cute stuff. 50ish age
Avatar

I don’t ship Drarry but with that being said, I will accept no other Drarry prompt than them stubbornly competing to outdo the other for the sheer drama.

It starts off when they’re still enemies in the Goblet of Fire. Draco makes a taunt about who Harry’s going to ask to the Yule Ball and how they must be from the worst of the worst lot and Harry rolls his eyes and says, “Well, fitting you say that, Malfoy, because I was going to ask you.” A perfect zing, Harry. 10/10.

But now the ball’s in Draco’s court and obviously he’s not going to pass up on the chance to humiliate the scarhead so he takes the most logical route of humiliation and calls out his bluff: “Fine, Potter, I reckon we’re going.”

But do you think Harry James Potter is just going to back down? That stubborn teenager is going to stare Draco down and say, “Reckon we are.”

Ron’s confused and Hermione’s confused and literally the entire castle is confused but Harry’s satisfied because he called out a bluffer’s counterbluff with a bluff of his own. And they just keep it up.

“I suppose you don’t even know how to dance, Potter?”

The furious teenager who spent years having to watch soapbox dramas with Mrs. Figg just glares at him in his stupid dress robes. “I know some things.”

“Prove it.”

“Fine.”

It’s like that for days until Draco makes the ultimate power move by inviting Harry to the Malfoy’s Annual New Years Eve Ball, taking out a Daily Prophet ad no less, because oh, oh, he’s got Potter now. He’ll never accept and he’ll be humiliated in front of the entire wizarding world. And do you think Harry’s just going to go down without a fight? God, no, he’s going to win whatever the hell this is because he’s Harry Potter, Draco better be worried, oh boy.

They’re still going at it six months later.

“Err—Malfoy?” Crabbe says. “Potter just sent you a dozen roses?”

“That son of a bitch! Send a box of chocolates. That’ll show him.”

“Um, Draco—?”

“I WILL NOT BE OUTDONE, PARKINSON!”

i couldn’t resist :P

Avatar
awildpaige

Yep. This is it. This is the only Drarry headcanon I’ll accept from this point on.

Avatar
Avatar
isozyme

Remus Lupin: Sirius you did what.

Inspired by this post and others by lotstradamus

Ok but hasn’t it been shown that a single stupefy wouldn’t be enough to have an effect on hagrid due to his giant blood?

Avatar
resplendeo

clearly this means that hagrid pretended that the stupefy knocked him out, gently laid down on the ground so the baby wasn’t jostled, and pretended to snore while sirius ran the fuck away

possibly interrupting himself mid-snore to offer advice

Avatar
copperbadge

*Hagrid sits up*

“SUPPORT ‘IS LI’IL HEAD, YE GREAT IDIOT!” 

*lies down*

*Sirius climbs on motorbike*

*Hagrid sits up again*

“DON’ FERGET TO BURP ‘IM AFTER A FEEDIN!”

*Motorbike zooms off*

*Hagrid sits up, cups hands and yells*

“AN’ MAKE SURE ‘E SLEEPS ON ‘IS BACK!” 

*lies down again for another five minutes for good measure*

then he lies there mumbling about how he shouldn’t’ve said that

This is fucking fantastic

Still one of the best posts/additions. 

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net