Remember, don't just vote for your fave! Consider who is the WETTEST, SADDEST, and has the WORST MORAL COMPASS.
I’m reblogging this again as an example of why democracies require a robust public education system. Without adequate familiarity with the classics (Disco Elysium), 48% of the populace will come to the erroneous conclusion that a billionaire superhero played by a Hollywood sex symbol and known worldwide for his coolness can be described as “poor,” “little,” or a “meow meow.”
As a teacher I must rectify this. Everyone should play Disco Elysium knowing as little about it as possible, so I will only list events that happen in the first five minutes of the game. In the first five (5) minutes, Harry DuBois, the most pathetic man in modern media:
- Listens to the voices in his head telling him to kill himself because he’s not over his ex
- Wakes ass-up, naked on the floor in the hotel room he trashed last night
- (In certain playthroughs) Has a heart attack from turning on the light
- Cannot find his shoes since he threw one out the window
- Puts on his piss-soaked, cum-stained party pants
- Finds his necktie tied to the ceiling fan as a noose, presumably because he is so pathetic he did not realize that is a stupid way to try to kill yourself
- (In my playthrough) Has a heart attack and dies trying to retrieve said necktie
- (In my playthrough) Befriends the necktie, who becomes another voice in his head telling him to do drugs
- (In my playthrough) Becomes terrified by his own reflection and ensuing discovery that he is physically incapable of changing the smarmy expression on his face
- Discovers that his memory has been wiped by drugs and/or psychotic depression
- Learns he spent hours blasting the most miserable indie song on repeat in the middle of the night so the entire hotel could hear him sob-singing along
- (In my playthrough) Despite all this, confidently tells the first woman he sees he’d “like to have a fuck with” her
This all happens in the first five minutes. The pathetic wetness only increases from there. We haven’t even gotten into the moral compass question yet, so just know that Harry is a cop, and you can play him as a literal fascist who steals speed from children.
Harry shouldn’t just win this round. He should win the whole damn tournament. Vote Harry DuBois, or go play Disco Elysium so you can come back and vote for him.
