Sometimes I think about the fact that in my fanfic Hans has a grand total of 59 nephews and nieces... and the fact that I'm probably not that far from the truth...
Apparently, I wasn't done for today and I got this beautiful instruction: https://youtu.be/HEor39iB7cM?si=A52JmNYOlAKFbLjj
I highly recommend it for everyone learning Procreate!
But when I was done with the picture, I thought: huh, that fire is perfect for some partisans to rest by…
From the left: Burro (former school teacher), Goatie (he's in charge), Ox (former farmer) and prince Lars Westergaard of the Southern Isles who *really* doesn't want to be there but has no other choice, sorry… 😛
(Or how Hans became a pirate)
(Or how the Birnamians’ Rebellion started)
The picture is simplified, the castle stands on a high cliff and there is no forest that close to it.
(Also, I am sorry for all the Thais, but I didn’t make those flag colors up, apparently that is a thing!)
You know what I am doing for you?
I found this gem on Amazon when I was trying to check when when the official Frozen Cookbook is being published. This unofficial one is from 2021 and, you guessed it, with that title - I couldn't resist.
So, there are three recipes related to the Isles, author clearly has no idea where are the Isles actually located (not *that* South!), but nevermind. We have:
1. The Southern Isles Coconut Pie
2. Hans' Soulmate Sandwiches
3. Chicken Cauliflower Rice Bowl from the Southern Isles
Did I try it? You bet I did.
Here is the coconut pie!
Now, since I am all about sharing, here comes a - slightly modified - recipe, given in grams!
Ingredients:
160 g melted butter
300 g coconut shreds
320 g canned, crushed pineapple with juice (bought in cans)
130 g or 34 pieces of marshmallows
Pinch of salt
250 g of 30% or 36% cream, whipped
70 g powdered sugar
9 g vanilla extract
Now:
Melt the butter and mix with 250 g coconut shreds, press it into your pie plate to make crust. Bake 10 mins in 180*C (325*F).
50 g of shreds toast lightly on dry pan and set aside
Drain crushed pineapple and mix 1/2 cup of juice and marshmallows in a saucepan. Cook until marshmallows melt.
Add pineapple, vanilla and salt. Let it cool in the fridge (I say 1 h).
Whip the cream while slowly adding powdered sugar. Remember, the cream must be cool!
Once your pineapple mixture cools down, mix it with whipped cream and place on the crust.
Sprinkle with toasted coconut shreds.
Chill for minimum 2 hours but the whole night will be better. Serve cold!
Now, that is the only recipe I will give (as I said, it was a little modified in doing!), I hope it will give you an idea of what you can find inside. The quality of the book is... well, print-on-demand (bad paper, stock photos) but well, maybe it can serve us until 29.10.2024!
That being said - the pie is delicious!
...even if it sure as hell is not from the Southern Isles.
(but the Republic of Pirates can fill in for a patent!)
Models by Luis Labrador
Oh, the Westergaard Castle and their flag.
And that's why I must reblog
I usually don't write Hans as a sociopath, but when I do, it's for everyone's good. Well, except for the dead ones.
People always ask me (especially when Hans appears with one of the ship's pets) about Sitron and his whereabouts in this Pirate!Au. Well, as I've stated already, Sitron's fine. He escaped the same night Hans did. And he has a Very Important Job.
And this scene will happen in, well, approximately another 250k words.
Also, it's the second time his new owner appears on my pics! I have to finally introduce him. And reveal what the hell Lars got himself into.
Hello my pals
Let's talk the Southern Isles
Now, the only picture we have from there is this one:
This one Gazette snippet:
And the vague description in "A Frozen Heart".
But I would like to focus on the one picture we have, from "Frozen Fever" and no, it ain't about Hans, it's about everything around him.
Now, let's remember the date. It is June. It is Summer Solstice.
Look. At. The. Trees. Those trees aren't just late with their leaves, they look dead.
And now look at the ground. Look at the sky. Look at the gate which looks like ruins.
And the Gazzette says it is a "beautiful, clear day". I am sorry, that is what you are considering "a clear day"?
Now, it is probably just an animator's way to show us how bleak Hans' life is now, but this + what we know about their king from "A Frozen Heart" gives me the vibe of...
This.
I may be reading too much about it, but I don't think this kingdom is fine.
OH YEAH LET'S GO
When I read AFH, I definitely got an ominous vibe from The Isles. Not to say that it was desolate, but the palace itself and what surrounded it was supposed to reflect the Westergaards and their ideals: nothing could touch it, and it has a sense of impenetrability and mystery, because of the big wall surrounding the island. If I remember correctly, the central isle itself is described as "serpent-like" -- "When people who had never been to the Southern Isles first saw the long, low walls stretching across the horizon, they often mistook it for a sea monster" (pg. 24). The description is expanded upon a page later: "This made the palace nearly impregnable, but the result was a building that did, in fact, look like a serpent" (pg. 25), the serpent typically visualizing deception. I did sort of get a dreary vision of it like Frozen Fever implies. All the other islands were gray and rocky. It could also be that it isn't thriving because of how it's being run, which would make a lot of sense. Those Westergaards love their downfall-by-hubris.
It looks like they're still able to grow apples to export, at least! In AFH, the kingdom seems to be doing okay (for now) because of fish harvesting and rock harvesting for statues. These natural resources are what keep the kingdom afloat; however(!), it's pretty telling that later on in Arendelle, though he's surrounded by figures from many adjacent kingdoms, no one has ever even heard of the Southern Isles. The kingdom, itself, is quite literally isolated, and prolonged isolation often leads to downfall (and in a symbolic/metaphorical sense, this implicates how personal isolation, which Hans frequently suffered along with the rest of the gang but in different ways, leads to the downfall of the self). Hans might see that there's more they could do to revitalize the kingdom; but, of course, no one will listen.
Moreover, it is implied previously in AFH especially that Hans never really experienced the typical royal treatment that his status, at face value, would imply. This way of representing the Isles visually (in Frozen Fever) might be another way of demonstrating how the rest of his family views him: that he belongs there, in the muck, in the dark, separate from them, not worth caring for (re: the broken piece of the gate), for as long as they can get away with it. Especially when he has a history of being forced to do anything his family wanted, and when they most definitely have servants to do anything they should want. Having "a reason" to impose their will upon him is just icing on the cake for them (which will probably backfire once again, I hope).
It probably is just a stylistic choice, but Frozen isn't really known for its overly cartoony shorthand. If this was really the state of the Southern Isles, it would add another layer that I find really fascinating about Hans' motivations. His kingdom is dying and he needs a way out, either by escaping it or taking on the responsibility to fix it himself. He probably sees greater potential in it than anyone else does because they're very beholden to tradition.
Though, I really don't think Hans holds any kind of connection to The Isles. We never saw him be nostalgic for it, he never had any favorite places... except maybe the castle library. His only friend is Sitron, Lars would probably sell him out... I could go on. I don't think his motivations were all bad or untruthful when he said he wanted to find his "own place," I think it was a simple descriptor of what he needed.
Oh, Hans hates the Isles, as it was explicitly said in AFH, but he hates it, I think, because he hates his family (which embodies the Isles). He certainly has no connection to it, to the point he is willing to torment peasants for not paying taxes and speaking ill about his father - as long as it gets him what he wants: a permission to leave for Arendelle. But then away, Lars also had no second thoughts about it.
But he has a favourite place outside the library - the docks. Docks are far - so brothers won't bother to follow him - and (that's my assumption) he can see ships leaving and project himself on one of them.
...and seriously, if you are sending your sons to hurt your own people who can't pay taxes or who dare to speak their mind, your kingdom is probably not doing well.
Hello my pals
Let's talk the Southern Isles
Now, the only picture we have from there is this one:
This one Gazette snippet:
And the vague description in "A Frozen Heart".
But I would like to focus on the one picture we have, from "Frozen Fever" and no, it ain't about Hans, it's about everything around him.
Now, let's remember the date. It is June. It is Summer Solstice.
Look. At. The. Trees. Those trees aren't just late with their leaves, they look dead.
And now look at the ground. Look at the sky. Look at the gate which looks like ruins.
And the Gazzette says it is a "beautiful, clear day". I am sorry, that is what you are considering "a clear day"?
Now, it is probably just an animator's way to show us how bleak Hans' life is now, but this + what we know about their king from "A Frozen Heart" gives me the vibe of...
This.
I may be reading too much about it, but I don't think this kingdom is fine.
The King of the Southern Isles: "The Westergaards are lions, not mice".
A local rebellion's section of education and propaganda: Little mice can sneak past the lion's claws, get to the pantry, grab what they can and run, and the lions won't even notice until one of the thieves bites their tails.
And hence: one of the many anti-Westergaard propaganda posters.
100 words drabble - "Silence"
That sword – with a golden hilt, inlaid with jewels – was a symbol of a royal justice since the Middle Ages. A king of the Southern Isles had a duty of handling it every time he held a court. The blade was purely ceremonial, but as for now Lars was pretty sure he is feeling its sharpness against his throat.
“If any one of you”, said the king, looking grimly at his remaining sons, “knew what he was planning, you better confess now”.
Lars saw Hans trembling before their father, silently begging his older brother to help.
But he did nothing.
-------
I am 90% sure he said nothing to anyone, not then, not ever.
Hard to blame him, but I have very strong feelings about it.
Princess Olga of the Southern Isles, Lars and Helga's older child, striving to be the kingdom's greatest warrior when she grows up, is also a big fan of Shakespeare.
Which means I have to become a fan too. Don't tell me fanfics do nothing for your personal culture.
Captain Westergaard and his belowed crewmates
Shako - she is most known from being a mailparrot. She's also incredibly smart and stubborn - if her captain orders her to insist on a receiver to write him a letter back, she won't back up until she gets the demanded answer. She knows a few dozen words and can use it in context. She is being paid in crackers.
Mango - Mango is certified the best rat catcher alive. She also hates the whole world except for Hans - her sudden love for the former prince played an important role with him joining the crew of the Morning Star. When he got his own ship, she went after him. Don't touch her unless you want a few stiches.
Self-reblog, because the crew has just grow.
That's Bernie. Bernie is a gibbon. He was stolen from a circus because everyone agreed - including Anna - that the conditions there were terrible. They managed to get better homes for a donkey (now named Aren) and a camel (now named Alfred), but Bernie stuck around. There is also a lion (not named yet), but that's another story.
Bernie likes Hans because he has sideburns, just like him.
Didn't plan it. It is just the thing that... happened.
I keep seeing people portray Hans’ nieces and nephews as little kids and this is fair. That said in The Frozen Heart it’s said that all of Hans’ brothers, with the exception of Lars and the twins, all had kids. And Hans was seventeen at the time. So it is not outside the range of possibility that Hans’ age gap with his oldest niece and/or nephew is, like, seven years.
In short Hans should have a brigade of teenagers who are mean to him.
I've been summoned!
I think it is an interpretation matter, because, let's see:
"Caleb had married a few years before, and his wife had given birth to their first son soon after, which took a great deal of pressure off the remaining sons to produce heirs".(1)
Now, "a few years before" means, I think, more like 2-4 years [Hans is 17 in this expert and Caleb's wife is pregnant with a second one here as well] so in my opinion - the oldest may be max. 7 years old during Frozen, but I think more like 5. And it sounds like Caleb was the first of them to have a kid of his own and when a baby was born, everyone got off of the remaining Westergaard's backs with "marry, reproduce, marry, reproduce marryreproducemarryreproduce" nagging. Which "hadn't stopped some of them, of course"(2). I am not sure about this "some", but well, twins are out.
Also, "All of Hans's brothers, except the twins, were now married with children"(3), there is no exception for Lars, but I understand where are you coming from. There:
"(...) any news on when I might become an uncle again? I am hoping your child might like me at least."
Lars laughed. "If Helga has anything to do with it, the only person that child will like is her".(4)
So it looks like, indeed, Lars' kid isn't there yet. But I'd offer a very simple explanation for it, which is not a canon but ties both parts together - I think it may be interpreted as Helga being pregnant with their first one at this time.
All of this said, you do you, of course! If your interpretation is different, let it be, of course. I am just here to blabber about my own headcanons.
1. Rudnick Elizabeth, "A Frozen Heart", Paper Rocket (Paragon Books Ltd), 2016, p. 31
2. Ibidem.
3. Ibidem
4. Ibidem, p. 40
Oh, yeah I can absolutely see where you’re coming from! I probably should have checked with a Frozen Heart before making this post, but it was, like, two A.M where I live and admittedly I was feeling kind of lazy.
I think when it comes to the ages of his nieces and nephews it’s definitely a mixed bag, I just think Hans having to put up with a bunch of teenagers is a really funny concept.
Not trying to put anyone down, of course! it’s just an idea I like to play around with in my head.
And I am not trying either! That's why I added the disclaimer, it is to each their own! Maybe some of the other brothers had kids before Caleb did, it is not really clear here. "A Frozen Heart" leaves a lot to interpret for the reader.
And when yes, a bunch of teenagers is scary, well, let's look on my, very proffesional™ spreadsheet I made for my fanfic (happening 6 years after "Frozen" and 3 after "Frozen II"):
And imagine all of those kids swarming at you, I mean, the sheer noise of their existance alone would probably be painful!
I keep seeing people portray Hans’ nieces and nephews as little kids and this is fair. That said in The Frozen Heart it’s said that all of Hans’ brothers, with the exception of Lars and the twins, all had kids. And Hans was seventeen at the time. So it is not outside the range of possibility that Hans’ age gap with his oldest niece and/or nephew is, like, seven years.
In short Hans should have a brigade of teenagers who are mean to him.
I've been summoned!
I think it is an interpretation matter, because, let's see:
"Caleb had married a few years before, and his wife had given birth to their first son soon after, which took a great deal of pressure off the remaining sons to produce heirs".(1)
Now, "a few years before" means, I think, more like 2-4 years [Hans is 17 in this expert and Caleb's wife is pregnant with a second one here as well] so in my opinion - the oldest may be max. 7 years old during Frozen, but I think more like 5. And it sounds like Caleb was the first of them to have a kid of his own and when a baby was born, everyone got off of the remaining Westergaard's backs with "marry, reproduce, marry, reproduce marryreproducemarryreproduce" nagging. Which "hadn't stopped some of them, of course"(2). I am not sure about this "some", but well, twins are out.
Also, "All of Hans's brothers, except the twins, were now married with children"(3), there is no exception for Lars, but I understand where are you coming from. There:
"(...) any news on when I might become an uncle again? I am hoping your child might like me at least."
Lars laughed. "If Helga has anything to do with it, the only person that child will like is her".(4)
So it looks like, indeed, Lars' kid isn't there yet. But I'd offer a very simple explanation for it, which is not a canon but ties both parts together - I think it may be interpreted as Helga being pregnant with their first one at this time.
All of this said, you do you, of course! If your interpretation is different, let it be, of course. I am just here to blabber about my own headcanons.
1. Rudnick Elizabeth, "A Frozen Heart", Paper Rocket (Paragon Books Ltd), 2016, p. 31
2. Ibidem.
3. Ibidem
4. Ibidem, p. 40
Father's day
Hans: Hello everyone, just a quick PSA since it is, apparently, a Father's Day.
Hans: <shows a portrait of the king of the Southern Isles>
Hans: So, if your father is making it pretty clear for you and everyone else that he hates you, you are one big disappointment and you are doing everything wrong on every turn since the day you were born, then my best advice for you would be to put all of your time, effort, all of your patience, diligence and stubbornness...
Hans: <shoves the portrait away, pulls in a new one, of captain Rogers> ...to find yourself a better one because that bitch ain't changing for ya.
Hans: Happy Father's Day 😌
June's writing challenge - Day 11
1989 words today and the border of 600 pages of text was crossed!
And welcome to the real world, Lars, your new friend has briefed you already, but now you are going to see it with your own glasses.