"aces make everything wholesome" false and malicious erasure of my beautiful ace friends who give me new and unusual kinks every other day with their content
Is...
Is this post supposed to imply that those of us who are asexual and DON'T have unusual kinks (or worse, don't consider ourselves kinky at all) ARE wholesome?
Genuine question. I've seen this post around a lot and every single time, I've had to bite back the urge to make this comment.
I am not a wholesome pure uwu child for being a sex-averse, romance-averse aroace who, for various reasons, would not touch the kink scene with a ten foot pole. I am an ADULT with BOUNDARIES and being told that those boundaries make me a cute innocent little baby is actually super fucking dehumanizing.
Your ace friends might be cool kinky freaks who are the appropriate kind of transgressive to keep their allo friends from getting bored of them, and that's great for them, but those of us who aren't that deserve respect too.
I’m a sex-averse kink-repulsed aroace and I would like to apologize to OP, I don’t know what that person was smoking
Big fucking yikes
Aces with new and unusual kinks are a fundamental pillar of our community (and the smut/ fanfic community; seriously, some of the best kink fic is by asexual writers)
Folks, don’t be like that self-proclaimed prude. Please don’t. You’re not helping anyone by being sex-negative or kink-negative.
Being supportive of people who enjoy sex and kink shouldn’t hinge on whether you yourself like those things – sex-positivity and kink-positivity are a must in today’s social climate with conservatives on the rise
And before someone starts arguing with me: check this blog! I have repeatedly posted about being severely traumatised by kink, being repulsed and triggered by kink, and throughout I have always maintained that supporting the kink community is a must. And that I’m averse to having sex is also all over this blog.
Ahh it's no trouble to me! I fully understand where the annoyance is coming from; a lot of other people have commented less argumentative but similar statements critiquing the idea of wholesomeness equating to no sex-- this is entirely true and an important nuance that must also be acknowledged to dismantle widespread sex-negativity. In the end, "wholesomeness" is a buzzword that doesn't have any concrete merit in media analysis anyway.
My statement was specifically targeted towards one interpretation of the phrase used to shut a specific group of asexuals down-- made after someone apologized for reading tentacle kink fic while being acespec on the free response on one of my polls-- but the inaccuracies of the phrase are, of course, multilayered and exclusionary to other subsections of the community as well. This post went more viral than I could've ever expected and I imagine it must be pretty frustrating to see it go around your circles when you don't relate to it, but sometimes all you should really do is recognize when something isn't for you and ignore it I guess.