@phil-dwyer-stan-account / phil-dwyer-stan-account.tumblr.com
F/M/K ? Demetri, Vladimir, Carlisle ?
Oooh
Fuck: Demetri (duh)
Marry: Carlisle (I could write a whole essay in support of this answer, but it’s not a hot take so I don’t need to)
Kill: Vladimir (sorry I just don’t like that the Romanians treated humans like slaves)
The Volturi actually defeated the Romanian coven by having Alec dress up like MacGoogles the Frog.
That’s why the Romanians hate him so much. Vladimir and Stefan just tell everyone Alec(and jane) used powers to wipe out the coven because they’re embarrassed.
Stefan recently got over it and is trying to train Vladimir to feel better through immersion therapy.
So the guy who plays Vladimir (Noel Fisher) in Breaking Dawn part 2 was in my favorite childhood movie Max Keeble’s Big Move. (*stephon voice* this movie has everything: Josh Peck obsessively wearing a robe, an evil ice cream man, too many mentions of the bassoon, the dad from Lizzie McGuire wearing a cheese costume, a bully who is afraid of a Scottish frog, a milkshake party where middle schoolers dance on tables and drink milkshakes with lil Romeo.) if you’ve never seen it it’s even more wild than I make it sound and it’s very much a product of 2001.
Anyways, I was thinking about the movie and how Noel Fisher plays the main bully of the movie Troy McGinty. Every day he reveals who he is going to bully by wearing a shirt with their name. And I found this:
Now all I can imagine is an au where Vladimir wears a shirt with his name on it the entire time he’s on screen in Breaking Dawn Part 2
