Prone To Life-Threatening Idiocy

If you’ve seen the ad you’ll know that according to a 2008 study 9/10 vampires used Colgate products, but it’s been over a decade. Times have changed and there’s a lot more toothpaste on the market. A lot of them still use Colgate(like how @cullensmidnight said Edward uses Colgate effervescent mint), but some found they prefer other brands.

Carlisle: for @whyrweheretwilight2020 sake Carlisle actually uses crest. But he wanted to get that sponsorship money (you’d think being a literal billionaire would be enough for him). But he is legally obligated to say he uses Colgate.

Emmett: uses orajel little bear training toothpaste. He also watches the commercial every single time he brushes his teeth. Edward would sell his left hand if it meant never having to hear “Little bear! I got your toothpaste!” ever again.

Rosalie: doesn’t care very much about her toothpaste but she uses this expensive fancy rose flavored mouth wash. I looked up the ingredients it’s pretty much just perfume but it costs about $55

The Volturi: they were into the whole black charcoal toothpaste for the aesthetics. However, they found they prefer luxurious Theodent 300 which costs $100-150 per tube. But they make Jane and Alec use Theodent kids chocolate chip flavored toothpaste

The Denali coven: without a doubt in my mind they use the Trader Joe’s brand toothpaste but the purple one that tastes like perfume and baking soda

Alistair: did you really think I was going to get through this post without including Alistair? C’mon. Alistair seems to care about the environment so he uses battle green mineral-rich toothpowder

Maggie: her built in bullshit detector power helped her realize that the whitening agent in whitening strips is just hydrogen peroxide. Since she’s immortal she gets the most concentrated one she can find and doesn’t even dilute it. She just carries it around at all times and chugs from it whenever she feels like it. *PLEASE do not consume hydrogen peroxide! And don’t use it to whiten your teeth without proper research. You are not an immortal vampire*

James: He doesn’t use any brand. In fact, he’s never even brushed his teeth. Nasty. His breath smells like actual death because there’s a build up of old blood on his tongue.