Prone To Life-Threatening Idiocy

Am I gonna have to make a power point presentation begging all of you twilight nerds (affectionate) to watch the sandman?!

You’re gonna look ME phil-Dwyer-STAN-account in the eyes and call me fake?!?! @the-golden-onion we fight at dawn 😤

Okay so we’ve established that criticizing twilight because of sparkly vampires is the weakest critique. There are so many actual big reasons to criticize it.

But have you considered the point that I literally like shiny rocks more than I like men. I literally collect crystals. And I don’t want to encourage the stereotype that women are just obsessed with shiny things. But I genuinely love crystals so much. And this is not an Edward appreciation post but I see Bella’s point. If I saw someone made out of diamond I’d be like “oooh pretty 😍” too.

Like have you seen men? Sparkly rocks are an improvement.

Today was a very sad hard day but drinking tea out of an Alistair mug that @kaquiche made for me(look at how talented she is!!!) makes me feel like everything is going to be okay

Me looking at all the cool twilight blogs that speak out against racism and wanting to be their friend but being too shy to actually reach out to them

Edward Cullen stans Death Cab For Cutie. You cannot tell me I’m wrong.

I have my last English class of the semester(besides finals) in an hour and a half and I swear it’s literally gonna be like

Professor: I hope reading The Wall by John Lanchester has helped change your perspective on our time in quarantine

Me: okay but did you see that Stephenie Meyer is finally giving the world Midnight Sun???

Michael Welch liked my tweet!

(Note: you can follow that twitter if you want but I don’t know if I’ll have a reason to use it again. It’s also on private because one of my friends found it cause my phone number is connected with it and I don’t want to deal with that)

Okay so you saw the countdown on smeyers website? Maybe you feel like you should reread the books before whatever the countdown leads to. Well . . .

I am not informing you that you can find free full text versions of all the twilight books online. I’m not stating that you can read them on websites without having to download anything. I am not saying that you don’t have to download anything and that I haven’t gotten a virus so it’s probably safe. I am not suggesting that you read those for free if you’ve been wanting to read twilight but can’t afford it. I’m not saying that you should keep your money instead of supporting smeyer. I am not saying that if you do want to spend money consider donating money, supplies, etc. to reservations (who are less likely to receive donations of extra face masks for the hospitals and stuff like that). And I am definitely not telling you to do all these things and that I can help you find the free versions if you pm me.

Also keep in mind that a lot of reservations are closed to outsiders right now. Edit: a few people (thank you if you were one of them!!!) informed me that the quileuete tribe is still raising money for their move to higher ground! Here is the link ! Also donate to tribes that might be local to your area! I just figured it might be nice to take money we would’ve given smeyer and give it to people who have had their histories rewritten and been portrayed in a racist way by smeyer.

Disclaimer: At the end of the day it’s your money! You can choose to spend it or not to spend it however you want!! I don’t want to pressure anyone or make them feel bad! You want to donate? Awesome! You don’t want to donate? Totally chill I’m sure you have reasons behind that! You want to buy the books? Great! You want to pirate them/check them out at a library? Do it! I can’t make any decisions for you, nor do I want to. All I can do is tell you about the different options you have 💖

I went to a private religious school growing up and in 5th grade my parents had a parent-teacher conference with my teacher. My teacher mentioned that I seem to really enjoy reading. My dad could’ve decided to be a normal human and just say “yeah she loves books” or something equally generic. But no, he looks my extremely christian teacher in the eyes and says “she’s been devouring vampire novels”. Which seems pretty harmless, except vampires are evil monsters and “I should set mine eyes on upon things of the lord and not of the wicked flesh”. 

Anyways, whenever you guy’s wonder why I have no shame. It’s because when I was ten I had to spend seven months with this woman praying every time she looked at me because she thought I was playing with the devil. 

Pardon if this has been done before, but every god damn day I think about how in the books Emmett had curly hair.

In real life Kellen Lutz has really nice curly hair. Ex:

And yet we were robbed and given this awful hair style

FOR

THE FIRST

THREE MOVIES

It’s such a bad haircut. It really doesn’t do anything for him and I really can’t wrap my head around it. It’s not like his character had short straight hair in the books.

At least in Breaking Dawn his hair is MUCH better, but it’s more wavy than curly.

I just really think we were robbed of seeing Emmett with his full curl potential.

Something I've always found hilarious that was criminally glossed over is Marcus. So he's St. Marcus right? Well St. Marcus aka St. Mark aka John Mark aka THE GUY WHO FUCKING WROTE THE GOSPEL OF MARK??? Like yeah they talk about him being St. Marcus but they really ignore the fact that this means that he wrote a really important book of the BIBLE. There has to be so much there that smeyer doesn't cover. Do I only care about this because of my heavily indoctrinated religious upbringing? Yes.

Part of me believes that Carlisle learned about this and that's the whole reason he hung out with the Volturi for a hot minute.

Imagine Carlisle just sitting at the foot of Marcuses throne everyday like "PLEASE TELL ME MORE ABOUT WRITING THE BIBLE AND HANGING OUT WITH PAUL" and Marcus just sighs and looks off into the distance and says "not today I'm too sad" and Carlisles getting really frustrated like "that's what you've said every day for the past seven years!"

The real reason Carlisle left the volturi is because he wanted to learn about his lord and savior Jesus Christ straight from the source and got rejected. Also because he asked about the biblical story that mentions Mark running away naked and that pissed Marcus off.

One of my favorite little moments of the movies is actually the little friend group part of the “La Push baby, it’s La Push” scene. It only lasts like 10 seconds, but it’s so . . . real. Yeah maybe it’s not going to win any oscars. Nobody is delivering an intense brooding dramatic monologue. It won’t take your breath away. But it’s good.

I took acting classes for my entire childhood and we were always taught: good acting isn’t just knowing how to cry on cue. If the audience or viewers can watch and feel like they’re looking through a window at a real conversation between real people, then that is the best acting. Make the audience feel like they aren’t watching actors on a screen. Make them forget that you’re playing a part. If you can achieve that, those moments where they’re fully immersed. Where they feel awkward like they’re eavesdropping on a conversation that they aren’t part of. Then you have truly done your job to the best of your abilities”

That part only lasts maybe 20 seconds but everything about it is so real. How awkward Eric is when he tries to seem cool, but he’s not over playing it. Bella’s facial expression when he asks “La Push baby, you in?”

The way the friends talk over and interrupt each other.

The surf pose Eric and Mike do when Eric says “and I don’t just surf the internet”

Jessica immediately roasting Eric! Angela providing more context and asking Bella to come in that super sincere voice. Bella’s “okay I’ll go if you stop saying that”. Mike lightly roasting Eric some more and Eric defending himself. It’s just so *chefs kiss*. Like yeah all of this totally could’ve flopped but acting choices, even subtle ones, the actors made really made the scene feel real. They seem like an actual group of friends. Even the cheesy lines aren’t over acted. High schoolers can be fucking goofy, but they didn’t make it over the top like most portrayals of goofy high schoolers do.

And it’s not just this scene! It’s almost every scene with bella and her human friends! I feel like the twilight movies, movies about literal vampires, portrayed actual every day highschool friend dynamics better than most movies/tv shows that don’t have a fantastical/supernatural element to them.