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#rosalie hale – @phil-dwyer-stan-account on Tumblr
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Prone To Life-Threatening Idiocy

@phil-dwyer-stan-account / phil-dwyer-stan-account.tumblr.com

#1 Alistair stan
Stan Phil Dwyer for clear skin.
It’s the twilight renaissance baby and I’m ready to be full of shame and memes.
This is a side blog, I follow/like from kintsugi-keys. Posts I’ve made are tagged as “Phil” (since tumblr took away the ‘mine’ tag) unless I forgot to tag it
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Anonymous asked:

I heard you reckon Rosalie from Twilight is a Taurus, and i just want to say THANK YOU!! Everyone insists she’s a Leo, presumably because of the emphasis on her being proud and beautiful or something, but I never saw it. I definitely see more of a Taurus in her stubborn personality and the way she expresses love. She’s not like a Leo.

YES THANK YOU!!! SHE IS SUCH A TAURUS (no shade at Taurus’ I love y’all) I COULD WRITE A WHOLE ESSAY ON HOW SHE IS ONE OF THE STRONGEST EXAMPLES OF A TAURUS SUN IN POP CULTURE!!!

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Anonymous asked:

How bout top 5 twilight looks? All movies are game

Like outfits?

Okay so I couldn’t make this list without mentioning Demetri! But specifically this outfit (and his stance when they’re at the field in Eclipse *chefs kiss*)

Next we have Edward pulling up to school with Bella. I don’t actually like his outfit but his sunglasses and smirk melted my heart when I was 10 and tbh they still do 12 years later

Then we have my favorite Bella outfit. The cream blouse is a softer look for her without getting out of her comfort zone

Then we have Rosalie looking gorgeous as always, but idk something about the baseball outfit does it for me.

And finally we have Victoria and Laurent showing up in Twilight. I would probably wear Victoria’s outfit even now in 2020.

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Anonymous asked:

What brand of toothpaste would other vampires use?

If you’ve seen the ad you’ll know that according to a 2008 study 9/10 vampires used Colgate products, but it’s been over a decade. Times have changed and there’s a lot more toothpaste on the market. A lot of them still use Colgate(like how @cullensmidnight said Edward uses Colgate effervescent mint), but some found they prefer other brands.

Carlisle: for @whyrweheretwilight2020 sake Carlisle actually uses crest. But he wanted to get that sponsorship money (you’d think being a literal billionaire would be enough for him). But he is legally obligated to say he uses Colgate.

Emmett: uses orajel little bear training toothpaste. He also watches the commercial every single time he brushes his teeth. Edward would sell his left hand if it meant never having to hear “Little bear! I got your toothpaste!” ever again.

Rosalie: doesn’t care very much about her toothpaste but she uses this expensive fancy rose flavored mouth wash. I looked up the ingredients it’s pretty much just perfume but it costs about $55

The Volturi: they were into the whole black charcoal toothpaste for the aesthetics. However, they found they prefer luxurious Theodent 300 which costs $100-150 per tube. But they make Jane and Alec use Theodent kids chocolate chip flavored toothpaste

The Denali coven: without a doubt in my mind they use the Trader Joe’s brand toothpaste but the purple one that tastes like perfume and baking soda

Alistair: did you really think I was going to get through this post without including Alistair? C’mon. Alistair seems to care about the environment so he uses battle green mineral-rich toothpowder

Maggie: her built in bullshit detector power helped her realize that the whitening agent in whitening strips is just hydrogen peroxide. Since she’s immortal she gets the most concentrated one she can find and doesn’t even dilute it. She just carries it around at all times and chugs from it whenever she feels like it. *PLEASE do not consume hydrogen peroxide! And don’t use it to whiten your teeth without proper research. You are not an immortal vampire*

James: He doesn’t use any brand. In fact, he’s never even brushed his teeth. Nasty. His breath smells like actual death because there’s a build up of old blood on his tongue.

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Twilight 2020 cursed remake fan-cast

I got an ask saying “If twilight was remade in 2020 who would be in the cast? Cursed answers only” I figured I’d just make it into a post. I can only put in ten photos as a time so bare with me. There’s 46 people in the new cast (instead of making separate posts I’m just going to add each addition as a reblog I would recommend waiting to see the full cast)

Directed by: Taika Waititi

image

Edward: John Mulaney (improvising all of his own lines and wearing full khaki)

Bella: Debby Ryan

Carlisle: Owen Wilson wearing this outfit

Esme: Martha Stewart

Rosalie: Jenna Marbles

Emmett: Julien Solomita

Alice: James Charles

Jasper: Robert Pattinson but how he looked in Good Time (yeah I’m casting Robert Pattinson in this)

Check the reblogs for the rest of the cast :)

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Anonymous asked:

Do you like Rosalie?

I’m assuming this is for the anti honesty hour? If it’s not then just read it as if it is (everything I say below is the opposite of how I actually feel):

GROSS!!! Rosalie is DISGUSTING!!! SHE DEFINITELY WAS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ME FINALLY ACKOWLEDGING TO MYSELF THAT IM ALSO INTO WOMEN!! HER SIDE FLIP THING IN ECLIPSE MADE ME WANT TO PUKE! SHE IS UGLY! HER OPINIONS ARE NOT VALID!!! SHE IS MEAN TO EDWARD FOR NO REASON!!! SHE DEFINITELY DOES NOT HAVE GOOD REASONS BEHIND HER ACTIONS!! I DO NOT WANT HER TO STEP ON MY NECK!!!!

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Anonymous asked:

9 for the ask thing :)

9. Astrology sign headcanons for the Cullens?

I’ll do my best, but forgive me if I mess up. I’m not super into astrology I just know enough to kind of chime in a little bit when my friends who are SUPER into it talk

Carlisle: Capricorn

Esme: cancer (also Jacob is a cancer dont @ me)

Emmett: Aries

Edward: Gemini(honestly smeyer making him a Gemini/cancer cusp was the only smart thing she did and it probably happened on accident)

Bella: Virgo

Rosalie: Libra

Charlie he’s not a Cullen but let me have this: Taurus

Jasper: Scorpio or Gemini??? I’m not too sure

Alice: Sagittarius (don’t @ me)

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3. Fave headcanon brotps?

Jacob and Rosalie should have been friends and I stand by that!! But a canon one I love is Carlisle & Alistair (okay I know I love everything to do with Alistair) it’s just such an interesting friendship. Like Carlisle just followed around this grumpy loner vampire like “are you ready to talk to me now?????”. And now he’s the only person Alistair let’s get even remotely close to him. And even though he complained the whole time and ended up dipping, deep down Alistair sees Carlisle as his best friend and thats why he bothered to show up in the first place and ultimately he left because he knew if it came down to a fight he’d stand with the volturi to save his own life but he didnt want to betray carlisle so leaving was the best option for him and I’m so emotional

24. Which coven would be the best fit for you?

I’d like to say the Volturi. But probably the Denali coven 

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John Mulaney as twilight characters part four • special Tan France addition

(All of these will be from the John Mulaney episode of dressing funny on youtube)

Edward when Alice tells him that Bella will find it sexy if he rolls up to save her wearing an all cream ensemble

Bella taking pictures of her friends instead of being the in photo

Jasper pretending he doesn’t notice Alice checking him out in the diner

Carlisle realizing he didn’t use his one brain cell when Rosalie explains that she didn’t want to be a vampire, let alone marry his weird emo son

The Cullen kids trying to keep up with modern teenage trends

Bella having her 18th birthday dream

Alice coming back just in time to save the day in Breaking Dawn

Edward showing up to school after getting a girlfriend for the first time in his 108 year existence

Bella being confused about literally all of the clothes Alice gives her

Bella trying to remember how to slouch and be human

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