peyton-warren reblogged
Word Dieting Your First Draft
Here are two phrases you can cut without loss:
- begin to (begins to, beginning to, began to, begun to)
- start to (starts to, starting to, started to)
She began to run -> She ran. Rain began to fall -> Rain fell.
Should you avoid "begin to" altogether?
Well, no. Sometimes, when an action starts and is abandoned immediately, they clarify what's going on:
She began to walk home, but changed her mind after a few steps. He started to paint the fence, but thought better of it.
Cut "Look"
More often than not, your story will work just as well without telling the reader that the character is looking at something.
Looking at him, she nodded. -> She nodded. He looked at her and poured her a drink. -> He poured her a drink. She looked at the mountain which towered over the valley. -> The mountain towered over the valley.
Cut "See"
If you describe something, it is implied that the POV character sees it.
When she took another galnce at the book in his hand, she saw he was
Cut "Turn"
Do your characters turn towards one another before saying something? Turn before they move? People turn all the time - it's implied without having to describe it.
She changed her mind, turned, and hurried home. -> She changed her mind and hurried home. She turned to him and clasped his hand -> She clasped his hand.
Where turn + look are used:
He turned to look at her and nodded. "I agree that's true." -> He nodded. "That's true." -> "True" [even better!]
When to use "look", "turn" and "see":
- when a dialogue scene involves several people
- when two of these words are used, try cutting one.
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