If I smoked with dan howell he'd leave the sesh with different pronouns
The coven of chaos is literally a pride flag
objectively hilarious that they chose the dynamic of agatha and rio to have agatha holding the power AND wanting rio to leave her the fuck alone because it couldve so easily been a "i am killing all these people to forcefully get the attention of the cold distant force of death that i am in love with" but it is instead "killing is my most favorite hobby ever, only downside is that it constantly reveals my location to my bitch ex wife who keeps begging me to get back together"
it's objectively hilarious ngl like Agatha is the most annoying person on earth that's her super power that's how she kills all these dumb bitches and to have her be haunted by her annoying ex that she still loves and loathes in equal amounts just because she can't stop killing people is so funny like girly had the darkhold and hid herself from Death but the amount of bodies she was dropping was enough for Rio to know where she was at all times even if she couldn't see her which just makes her get bitchier and bitchier because Rio just wanted to have one grown up conversation about what they lost and how to get past it but Agatha's petty ass just kept playing hide and seek for 3 centuries then got her ass hexed to oblivion by Wanda so she was off the map for 3 years and when Rio finally got a hold of her she had become this unhinged crazy ex wife but like wouldn't you be? anyway they chose both the most painful and most hilarious dynamic for these two
I love soulmates but also this-
do yall fw cringefail loser x weird stupid alien yaoi
when i get rich im installing that one italian statue with the boob fountains right in the middle of my living room
and it will shoot baja blast
official boob post
Not me absolutely frothing at the mouth about this AU. Can we get an info dump on the Lore? It's making me want to abandon my current Spideypool WIP for this. Absolutely terminal brainrot for this boy
BEHOLD: MASSIVE LORE DUMP!
Peter B. Parker is a young troublemaker who has a problem with authority. He also has a knack for picking tech apart and putting it back together, which puts him on the radar for a small-time gang that needs someone to act as their alarm system breaker for a big score.
Unfortunately, said score had bad intel and what was supposed to be a simple robbery turns out to be manslaughter when the resulting fire that was supposed to cover up their tracks ends up killing two guards.
Peter is tried as an adult with the rest of the gang and sentenced to Rykers for 5 years.
Check out the full page HERE.
At Rykers, Peter meets Marko Flint, who takes Peter under his wing. and teaches him how to survive and thrive when wearing the orange.
Life goes on for 5 years. He learns the trade, gets some tats, learns how to make some great shivs, and becomes a better criminal all around. Yay prison!
Peter gets out at 21, and reunites with Uncle Ben and Aunt May. He does his best to clean up his act, but normal life is hard for someone who spent their formative years in prison.
(He also makes questionable hair and fashion choices. What can I say, he's catching up!)
He goes from job to job, trying to pay back his aunt and uncle for all their support but is completely unequipped for the 'real world.' After a few months working/getting fired from soul-crushing menial jobs (HS dropout!), he agrees to take 'one last job' with Marko that is 'guaranteed to set them up for life'.
*cough*
This robbery goes off without a hitch! No one is hurt and they make off after hitting a heavily armored Oscorp Transport with a ton of documents/tech that they aim to sell to the highest bidder.
The biggest mystery is that one glowing vial of untested, experimental serum they found...
Unfortunately, Oscorp doesn't take robbery lightly. Marko finds out through contacts that the serum (whatever it is) is too hot to sell on the market, so he instructs Peter to get rid of it so it can't be traced back to them.
Peter, a rational 22-year-old ex-con, 'gets rid of it' by mixing the serum into ink and tattooing it onto his wrist, triggering the start of his mutations.
It takes a bit, but Peter get's all the regular spiderman benefits (webs are organic), plus one more. The serum was created from the venom of the Portia Spider, a hunting/jumping spider known to be uniquely intelligent among arachnids.
Alongside the speed/strength/spideysense, Peter also grows some fangs that secrete a powerful venom.
The venom speeds up the body's processes, working almost like an insane performance booster and enhancing an injected person's strength, speed, and senses for a few hours.
Unfortunately, repeated doses also eventually induce shock, paralysis, and, later, death.
He gives a few samples of it to Marko as an exit fee.
Uncle Ben was suspicious of how Peter suddenly got so much money, but took him on good faith. But, while he was watching the news that covered the Oscorp robbery, connected the dots and had a blowout fight with Peter that ended with him having a cardiac event.
Unfortunately, he did not survive.
Aunt May and Peter were estranged over this for several years.
This event crushes Peter, sobering him up immediately. He goes back and gets his HS diploma, and works on night courses in college.
However, he spends much of his days wandering, angry at himself and what he did. He beats up a mugger one day and realizes that he could be using his powers to back up the faith Ben had in him.
Spiderman is born!
Eventually, he and Aunt May reunite, and their relationship is slowly healing.
A few years later, Peter is on the up. He and Aunt May are close again! He's got a bachelor's in computer science, has a (semi) steady job, and is well-liked as Spiderman by the populace at large. His rogue's gallery is roguing- etc.
Unfortunately, a variant of his venom (developed by Kingpin) hits the streets as a drug. It's favored by both criminals for its performance-enhancing strength, as well as civilians, for the time-slowing sensation/high it gives them.
His girlfriend, Mary Jane, who has been sober for a few years, relapses. Peter, knowing that he can't stop her from getting it on her own, reveals his identity and becomes her main source.
At least, this way, he can control the dosage.
Marko (who sold Peter's venom to Kingpin) manages to fire off his only two brain cells and realizes that Spiderman IS Peter Parker.
Then he outs him to the world because Spiderman made it personal.
Peter's life catches on fire. The entire world is after him. His loved ones have to go into hiding because there's no shortage of criminals and psychopaths who want to get their hands on MJ and Aunt May to get to Spiderman.
Peter ceases to exist. It's not safe anymore. He spends days (weeks? months?) in the suit. Eventually, on the run and burnt out, he pleads his case to Dr. Strange in desperation. (Ala No Way Home)
"Everyone deserves a clean start."
Dr. Strange agrees, but the spell can't work with Peter still existing as part of the equation. So it fires him off into a reality where Peter B. Parker, and by extension Spiderman, never existed.
So how's an ex-con/ex-superhero (for now) supposed to carve a space in a world that never knew him? By finding somewhere that doesn't ask any questions.
And it just so happens, that St. Margaret's School for Wayward Children has a reputation for both being a bar of questionable repute and looking the other way.
Might as well start there.
~~~~~~~~~
Thank you so much for this lovely, lovely ask! I hope this massive lore dump wasn't overkill, but I'm having a lot of fun with this world and wanted to share.
And I offer this lore dump ONLY on the condition that you do not drop whatever you're working on. There is always space for more spideypool in the world, don't deprive us!!!
I'm also gonna go ahead and put this up without the massive wall of text.
Let's all enjoy Spidey firing some critical shots into the Avengers. And fun fact, this scene immediately precedes this NSFW FICLET written by the amazing @thistleraven
that’s how you write a headline
nothing funnier than a teen superhero walking away from the end of a battle in his sick new getup, absolutely devastated, and then getting in his subaru and driving home
Barney, snoozing on a hilltop, in the summer of 2009.
I actually can't stop thinking about how the losing party last election dressed like vikings and tried to break into the white house and the losing party this election are sharing suicide prevention hotlines
He also did this one
I’m having trouble linking the video, but this guy can legit breakdance