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Persephone Magazine

@persephonemag / persephonemag.tumblr.com

Persephone Magazine is a daily blog for bookish and clever women.
Follow us on Twitter: @persephone_mag
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The Shittiest Princess and the Real House Duchesses of Kingdomville

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. You can find the whole series here. In the olden times, when nobody was there to make friends, the land of Kingdomville had the shittiest princess since Princess Always Suggests Kale. The shittiest princess, Princess Poot, was very awful — even though she would never eat kale. (more…)
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Things You Can Do with Your Friends*

*According to my roommate Tired of those ladymags with their crazy suggestions about how to dress or what’s trendy or what’s cool? Well just in time for summer, this ladymag has some suggestions for fun things you can do with your friends, as my roommate has attempted all of these activities with me. (more…)
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The Shittiest Princess and the Cats from Outer Space

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here. Back in the dark ages, when everyone squinted a lot, there lived the most fantastic princess of the century, Princess Poot. Fantastic as in “odd and remarkable; bizarre; grotesque.” She was once hung up on by…
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Prince Agnes and the Secret Cupcake Boyfriend

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here. In the happy land of Respectica, there once was born a lovely Poor named Agnes. There were lots of wealthy and powerful people in Respectica, but poor Poor Agnes just wasn’t one of them, damn it. So Agnes…
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The POOP of the Shittiest Princess

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here. Once inside a dungeon dreary, Princess Poot attended her appointment with the palace’s Fish Tank Scum Cleaning and Flipper-Tickling Minions for her monthly gill routing. Poot was the shittiest princess in the…
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Pooty and the Beast, Part Two

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here
The first part of this Pooty story is here.
Poot pulled out a hairpin and expertly picked the lock of the mysterious locked room that must never be entered but there’s totally not anything weird in there.…
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Pooty and the Beast (Part 1)

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here.
Once upon a fairy tale, there was an easy diet. Also, there lived a princess named Poot of Kingdomville, once named “Home of the Cutest Plague Victims” by Olde Tyme Diseasesmagazine. But no one would accuse…
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The Shittiest Princess and the Ouch! Crap! Noooooo! Day

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here.
There once was a magical place called Kingdomville. (For the purposes of our story, “having a pretty nice skating rink” is the same as “magical.”) (more…)
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The Shittiest Princess and the Discount Hero

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here.
Long ago, there dwelt a royal named after a fart. No, not Prince Harry, but Princess Poot of Kingdomville. Of all the shitty royals in history, Prince Har — Princess Poot was the shittiest, for she was…
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The Shittiest Princess and the Shittiest Queen

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here.
Just sit right back, and you’ll read a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that started from ol’ Kingdomville aboard a tiny ship. With Princess Poot; and Agnes, too; Benicio; and their beer. But no one else.
The…
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The Shittiest Princess and the Darkest Timeline

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here.
There were, once upon a time, two childhood girlfriends named Poot and Bucky. Poot was the shittiest princess, and Bucky was the shittiest daughter of a duke this side of Hazard County. Bucky was so named…
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The Not the Shittiest Princess Anymore and the Magic Spell

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here.
If you look up “handsome” in the “Kingdomville Extremely Long Scroll Full of Word Meanings in Alphabetical (Mostly) Order,” you’ll see a drawing of King Handsome of Kingdomville. His jaw was so chiseled that…
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The Shittiest Princess and the I Want Song

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here.
In the good old days, when ladies weren’t allowed to vote because of their estrogen spells, there lived a super shitty princess named Poot. This is a flashback story, so it takes place in the good olderdays.…
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The Shittiest Princess and the Magic Mirror

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here.
In the simpler times before rocket travel, when everyone afeared the moon because it shot “horny” rays, there lived a king named Handsome. Handsome of Kingdomville was sad, you see, because while he possessed…
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The Shittiest Princess and the Manly Games

The Shittiest Princess is a series of funny fairy tales for those of us who ain’t exactly cartoon princesses. Stay tuned for a new adventure every week!  You can find the whole series here.
It came to pass in the country of Kingdomville that the king held an annual event for the betterment of boners and armpit sweat: The Manly Games. Besides crusades, wars, Minion-crushing, tournaments, Tuesdays,…
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