perelka-l reblogged

Interpol higher-ups: So you've slept with Giovanni...

Nanu: It's an open secret, don't act surprised.

IHU: And back in the day when you were undercover you also slept with Madame Boss...

Nanu: You weren't complaining about the intel I got from it, back then.

IHU: And that rumour about a tryst with Giovanni's right-hand man...

Nanu: We've all made stupid bets.

IHU: And now you're sleeping with Giovanni's son.

Nanu: Now you're getting into my private business, I'm retired nowadays.

IHU: the point is, is there anyone in Team Rocket you haven't slept with ??

Nanu: ...

Nanu: if you could remind me of when exactly I quit Interpol, that'll help me figure it out.

*several minutes later*

Nanu, leafing through a mugbook: oh yeah I remember that scrawny one, good lay.

IHU: he only joined Team Rocket 4 years ago.

Nanu: ...look, is it my fault if TR grunts hang out at my local gay bar on Ula-Ula ?

#im- oh my god #nanu pls #he just has those depressed man vibes and somehow thus everyone flock to him he cant help it and wont #(looker may judge him but then he fucked aliens he has no rights to speak)#but that is a side note #amazing just amazing #just amazing.#pokemon #headcanon accepted

perelka-l reblogged

narutoheretic

people: i wonder how kushina knew so much about sealing!

me, pointing at danzo, who was the right age to be taught by Mito and uses seals A Lot in canon and was around when kushina was training: consider

people: i mean she was just a tiny girl when she came to the village she must have been a super-genius or something!

me, pointing harder at danzo, who uses seals a lot in canon, and was the right age to be taught by Mito: C O N S I D E R

#Oh yes!!!!#I knew it would be one of those massive brained blogs yes yes #Also #Yes #Naruto #headcanon accepted #Yessssssss

perelka-l reblogged

uchihashisui-kun

Shisui with a slight dark red tint to his eyes because he descends from Tobirama... And he keeps the Sharingan activated most of the time so people can't see it...

#👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀#headcanon accepted #Naruto

perelka-l reblogged

elenathehun

roadkill2580 asked:

Hi! I have a quick question - I was reading through your MadaTobi fic "a thread that won't be cut" and I noticed you had a line in the last chapter about Hashirama have Mokuton induced tension headaches as a child. I'm currently writing a Mokuton!Sakura fic, and I was wondering if you would mind sharing headcanons? Thanks!

elenathehun answered:

I don’t know if I have headcanons per se, but I have been thinking a lot about the Mokuton for another fic that I haven’t yet published. So, my unorganized thoughts, such as they are:

The Mokuton is sui generis. Hashirama is the first person to have the ability - the Sage of the Six Paths and his kids don’t have it, nor do the any of the families associated with Kaguya and her get. Given the fact that the Tailed Beasts are a corrupted product of Kaguya’s consumption of the God Tree (emphasis on the tree), and that Sage abilities are specifically linked to tapping into ambient Nature chakra, I suspect that the Mokuton is a pure expression of the energy of the world, funnelled into one person, untainted by celestial energy.
So Hashirama has this amazingly OP ability…and he has to learn everything from scratch. That would be hard enough, but it’s also clear that the Mokuton is an expression of the user’s will. Hashirama’s Mokuton was amazingly intricately detailed in comparison to all the other subsequent users. Yamato was the best, obviously, but Danzo had nearly as long to master it and was barely able to make simple constructs. Obito’s main use of it was as unconscious life support. I know the anime states that Yamato had a scroll to learn from, but that’s not clear in the manga, and either way, we do see that he struggled with mastering his abilities.
Given that Hashirama was a really unparalleled, brilliant man, he’d still have to think of all his jutsu himself. It would take years upon years of practice, and intense mental focus. Handsigns only aid ninja in molding their chakra (which is why stronger ninja needed fewer hand signs for the same technique). I suspect the hand signs are actually a memetic device to help people mold their chakra in the correct way. Either way, Hashirama would have to do extensive work just visualizing how the jutsu would work and then experimenting to make his theory reality. Even with his brother and wife assisting him (and I’m sure they did - instinct only goes so far, and they would have the theoretical background to help him best, given their work with seals), it would be exhausting, dangerous work.
Dangerous, you might ask? Well, Danzo did have to sever his arm to prevent it from turning him into a tree; additionally, channeling that much nature chakra could very well exhaust your cells (thus, you know, killing you). All the other users, save for Yamato, had serious, serious issues with the tissue mutating (*cough*hashiboob*cough*). The Zetsu (if I’m remembering correctly) are basically people mutated by the God Tree into sentient Venus fly-traps. There is great risk in using the Mokuton, and I suspect part of what made Hashirama (and Yamato) so good was their straight up chakra control, which would have made it far easier to modulate the nature release. Additionally, the Mokuton seems to have a really low activation barrier. It’s not like the Sharingan, which requires quite a lot of work to activate. Like a tree, it wants to grow, and the user appears to need to consciously hold themselves back from using it, which is very different from how bloodline limits are presented in the rest of the series - which makes sense, because Mokuton users appear to be acting more as a channel for chakra than a reservoir.

In short, the Mokuton is a marvelous, dangerous ability, made more complicated by the fact that there would be few training tools to assist the novice. You can do almost anything with it - including turn yourself into a tree accidentally. Not a great skill for a kid to have access to, but with supervision and a great deal of focus, mastery could be obtained. But you’d have a hell of a lot of headaches growing up, and I do wonder about the risk of either intensive chakra exhaustion and/or accidental body modification.

Anyway, this is just what I’ve considered while working through my own stories. Hopefully my thoughts it will be helpful for your own!

(PS: just started reading “The Company of Trees”, finding it ace so far. What a great story!)

#ahhhh #headcanon accepted #so good #i love thet hought of mokuton being reverse of sharingan in this regard...#queue #naruto

perelka-l reblogged

denialcity

I want to see tobirama being an embarassing good older brother but like in a completely different flavour from hashirama

#queue #naruto #KLDHSKJFHSKJF #headcanon accepted #i love this so much

perelka-l reblogged

blackkatmagic

cappucino-commie asked:

Hotter take: Obito attacked Konoha specifically to fuck with Minato. He could justify it strategically in that Minato was one of the few ninja who could beat his space time nonsense. But deep down, its because he blamed Minato for not getting there in time. For not saving his team. So he decided to take away Minato's wife and son, so he could live in hell right alongside Obito.

#that sounds absolutely in character #headcanon accepted #queue #naruto

perelka-l reblogged

artbythedarkside

wyrvel

[gives you my diseases]

#headcanon accepted #Signed subscribed added #Thank you this is an amazing idea im going insane #Naruto

perelka-l reblogged

narutoheretic

people: i wonder how kushina knew so much about sealing!

me, pointing at danzo, who was the right age to be taught by Mito and uses seals A Lot in canon and was around when kushina was training: consider

people: i mean she was just a tiny girl when she came to the village she must have been a super-genius or something!

me, pointing harder at danzo, who uses seals a lot in canon, and was the right age to be taught by Mito: C O N S I D E R

#headcanon accepted #Sign me the fuck up #Naruto

perelka-l reblogged

narutoheretic

asadcandle

it is possible that a reason tobirama is a sensor type is because he emphasized training this ability because he’s visually impaired

I’m just thinking about the fact that the white hair + pale skin + reddish brown eyes could be albinism (as opposed to like, fantasy-world iris pigment colors, ya know). having basically no melanin in your eyes frequently causes vision problems, and having poor or no vision would be a specific reason to develop your chakra sense, right

#yes yes yes #i love this #headcanon accepted #queue #naruto

perelka-l reblogged

Honestly the entire Minato/Kushina experience feels like a fucking FEVER DREAM like what the FUCK. Baby Minato full on saw Kushina the new immigrant who hasn’t even been in the village for a hot second long enough to be fucking naturalized screaming at the top of her lungs that she’s gonna be president of their country, then looked at her while she screamed at his face ‘WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT U PICKING A FIGHT LIL BOY’

AND HE WENT

Thats her. That’s it. She’s the one.

And then proceeds to take his Nana monthly subscription WAAAAY too fucking seriously and what. Did he just STALK HER AROUND THE VILLAGE FOR LIKE YEARS WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT TO RE-ENACT HIS FAVOURITE SHOUJO. Like WHAT THE FUCK??????? Kushina gets kidnapped and Minato just so happens to be THE ONLY ONE who noticed she was gone?????? The JINCHURIKI!???? THE SINGULARLY MOST VALUABLE ASSET IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY????? And then his GENIN ASS proceeds to ignore everything he’s ever learned about the dangers of foreign-nin (which WHAT is the likelihood of THAT in a FACIST MILITARY STATE), safety, procedure, DIALING 911, AND WAS LIKE ‘I’m going to swoop in and dramatically save her and then princess carry her RIGHT ACROSS THE PALE MOON LIGHT and then finally she WILL fall in love with me’

Like can you CHILL TF OUT. It’s time to delete 1D and GO STUDY TF UR 12??

I’m almost half convinced Minato orchestrated this whole thing like the CONVENIENCE OF ALL THIS IS JUST TOO????????????? Like who were the Kumo-nins?????? Did he just fucking pay Fugaku and Shikaku to like dress up as Kumo-nin and stage this whole ass kidnapping????? Like did Minato’s little wipe-out-1000-soldiers-zoom psycho ass stage this whole thing???????? Kushina just so happens to be alone that night? And absolutely NO anbu noticed she was missing? And somehow obviously low level foreign nins were able to successfully sneak into the village (A MILITARY FORTRESS) without anyone noticing except ONE LOWLY GENIN. He full ass binged Kaichou wa maid one weekend and was like. I see.

All the other boys his age are like clan duties and betrothals from birth and Minato, one whole ass Aquarius, is like rip to Fugaku but I’m different.

12 yr old Minato rly did that to make sure Kushina falls in love with him. No wonder Naruto’s dumb ass spits shit like ‘I'll bear the burden of your hatred, and I'll die with you.’ ITS GENETIC. THE HYPERFIXATION AND INCLINATION FOR UNREASONABLE GRAND ROMANTIC GESTURES. Kushina caved before Minato can get to the amputation stage.

AND THE BEST PART. IS THE FACT THAT KUSHINA. SHE JUST. SHE JUST FUCKING BOUGHT IT. ZERO QUESTIONS ASKED.

And if Minato was Kakashi’s primary parental figure during puberty like Kakashi is probably dying alone rn bc after seeing Minato’s definition of love, his standards for #TRUELOVE GOT SO WARPED HES LIKE ok then I guess I’m just gonna go die alone.

#One wholeass aquarius #That explains so much tb #And alors i wouldn't be surprised omfg #Naruto #I'm dying #headcanon accepted

perelka-l reblogged

godaime-obito

Anyone who doesn’t want to make Tobirama’s eyelashes white bc they’re black in canon,,, you fool,,, that’s the mascara,,, we all know he wears eye makeup they could be any color underneath

Honestly you can’t even make out his eyelashes, just his black eyeliner:

A casual look with no bottom liner:

godaime-obito

@robininthelabyrinth

Well now I feel like kishi should have given him more eye makeup. Next fic I’m giving him full Smokey eye.

#erfathiwletkweryjrey #headcanon accepted #naruto

perelka-l reblogged

goodguydanzo

I like the thought that danzo was the one to start smoking as a kid and showed hiruzen how. Then almost immediately danzo found out he was wind style and dropped smoking for his lung strength. He picks on Hiruzen all the time and ROOTs for lung cancer for decades.

#headcanon accepted #congrats #(dID I MENTION THAT DANZO WA IRKY IN T W O MOMENTS IN NOVEL ABOUT HIRUZEN SMOKING #'if yer a ninja you will be SMELT also i fukcing hate it"#'wE ARE HAVIBG A DISCUSSION STOP SMOKING'#just #danzo #also lmao that pun #naruto

perelka-l reblogged

shammikorn

Anonymous asked:

Does your interpretation of Minato truly love Kushina, or is he 'acting' that too? :0!!

shammikorn answered:

ah, that’s an interesting question! on one hand - as a kid he didn’t have any profit from being close to kushina, and his affection, if i recall correctly, had originated back in their childhood. on the other hand, it seems way too convenient for the government to have future hokage married to the kyubi jinchuuriki. there are two major points in the way i interpret minato and his background:1) in my hc minato is either a bastard son of tobirama or some kind of not-entirely-biological offspring of his. minato was close to sannin trio, hiruzen and future jinchuuriki, was chosen as a next hokage in his early 20s, had access (and based his entire fighting style on) to nidaime’s inventions and was very well known among troops - it’s kinda unbelievable that a kid with humble origins could earn all that just by being good shinobi (and let’s be honest - minato used very few techniques, and with many enemies his speed-based attacks with the simplest pattern just wouldn’t work). rather, it seems that the government needed an easily manipulated but popular figure in power, and decided to create it by themselves. i think, because of that, minato is very similar to sai in not really understanding emotions, feelings and relationships; with that difference that sai was raised to be a pawn, while minato - to be an ambitious ruler. 2) minato is at least borderline psychopath. let’s look at kiehl and buckholtz’s article about psychopathy: “although they lack empathy, psychopaths fake normal emotions so convincingly that they often come across as personable, even charming. they learn to compensate for their emotional deficiencies, much the way an amputee manages without the use of a limb…as for complex emotions such as devotion, guilt or joy, theirs remains a textbook under-standing—it has been said that they “know the words but not the music.”minato doesn’t care about any of his subordinates’ problems unless they are thrown in his face and are about to create problems for him (it’s pretty much clear in kakashi gaiden), doesn’t show sadness or remorse after obito’s “death”, he doesn’t understand kakashi’s state after rin. damn, he is known as a man who single-handedly murdered thousand ninjas in one battle. returning to your question- i don’t think minato is really capable of truly loving someone. he probably did like kushina a lot, especially when they were children, and later grew attached to her, so it wasn’t solely acting, but i wouldn’t call it a “true love” either (in fact, i’m still super salty that he did nothing to prevent her pregnancy, knowing well about the very possible consequences).and there surely was some impact of hiruzen or the council - i just don’t believe in such coincidences.

shammikorn

i can’t stress this enough- i HATE how kishimoto tried to make the whole “killed a thousand ninjas” thing sound as a good trait. murdering thousand people is fucking gruesome even within the context of historic armies, considering they consisted of at least dozens of thousands of people and had firearm. shinobi armies are several thousands soldiers at best, and most combat ninjas specialize in melee fighting (minato does it as well). he murdered all these people with his own hands, he witnessed every single of these deaths and gave zero fucks. no wonder some kids’ deaths don’t affect him at all :D i don’t believe in minato’s sanity. i just don’t get why fandom folks call him nice, he is fucking terrifying.

#nice #headcanon accepted #a hamster faced psychopath? nice #naruto

perelka-l reblogged

writhingbeneathyou

pomrania asked:

An idea that came to my head, I can't stop thinking about, and now I'm trying to exorcise: the sharingan isn't "eyes", because that would make negative sense; instead, it's a parasite (with varying levels of symbiotic), that can hook into the optic nerves of anyone with the Uchiha gene.

writhingbeneathyou answered:

*slams her fist on the table* THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT, OP!!!!!

Decreased seratonin levels (especially after psychological trauma) allow the parasites to proliferate, inducing an evolved state of symbiosis, at which point the parasite itself starts to take over serotonin production and use. Once they get to a certain stage, the parasites begin to divert and store the serotonin, and can instantly use it to promote a burst of bone mass, ie. the Susanoo.

I love this idea so much. T_T

writhingbeneathyou

@screamingstarmie

How about: The parasite - once it’s grown large enough to induce the mangekyo - merges it’s frontal cortex with that of its host (hello mentally unhinged crazy town). Let’s say the eating of the optic nerve is an adapted behavior that increases as it evolves. When the optic nerve is purposefully cut, the parasite’s hindbrain/brainstem is the only thing left and it continues to function if it’s attached to another optic nerve by which to gather nutrients/neurotransmitters. The parasite is effectively dead, simply running on automatic when it’s transplanted. The transplant also deprives the remnant of the parasite’s brain (the one still merged with the original Uchiha) of nutrients until it withers away.

Sanity returns.

Happy endings for everyone ~~except Kakashi because he was a sad panda before all of this eye nonsense.~~

#ooooooo #holy craaaap #sign me upppp #naruto #and maybe that;s why technically not everyone should have sharingan #as in in clan #but i wonder what is end goal for parasite #bc gotta breed somehow and use host body for it #no...?#headcanon accepted

perelka-l reblogged

Anonymous asked:

(I don't know if you addressed this already orz but) How did you awaken your sharingan?

izunaisms-deactivated20200302 answered:

❝ I awakened it after being separated from my father and brother on the battlefield during my seventh summer. Just in time. ❞

If you were to double and triple the stress an ordinary civilian child faces finding themselves lost in a large busy crowd, losing sight of their family, and winding up alone, then you’d have a vague idea of what it was like for him the day he activated his Sharingan.

Izuna usually stuck to Tajima’s side on the battlefield if he could, and if not, another adult because if Hashirama was around, his brother would be fighting him. Shinobi children left alone were often surrounded and killed off if there was no one there to offer aid and support.

The young Uchiha remembered what it was like to be certain he was going to die, that cold chilling distress, and how badly he just wanted to live. The Sharingan had saved him when he needed it most and kept him alive until help came. It was a gift and it was his pride.

Anonymous Headcanon Time!

#aaaa-#hey i hope you sont mind me rbig this #headcanon accepted #naruto

perelka-l reblogged

raggedy-spaceman

ifeelbetterer

BUT HAS ANYONE CONSIDERED

amarguerite

Stunned mortal who just saw a miracle happen: What’s your name, angel?

Crowley, who really shouldn’t be caught dead doing one of Aziraphale’s miracles, and who’s about to invent a whole ass angelsona named Raphael: Oh, haven’t you heard?

YOU GUYS YOU GUYS YOU GUYS

you know how fandom likes to try to make nicknames out of aziraphale i’ve seen azi and zira and honestly I still think his only legitmate nickname is “angel” but

Raphael is the back half of Aziraphale’s name

crowley invented a whole ass angelsona and named himself after Aziraphale

tartan-thermos

honestly i support this 100%

crowley and aziraphale bumbling their way into wildly misconstrued and misinterpreted appearances in historical and religious texts is basically already canon, so

tartan-thermos

Aziraphale, later: “So, how did it go? Everything go off smoothly, nothing I need to mention in my report to Upstairs to cover my ass?”

Crowley, sweating: “First, you have to promise you won’t be mad.”

thegoodomensdumpster

@goodomensblog i’m including your tags because seriously, same, it’s so in character for him that’s the first time i’m agreeing for real with the raphael hc thing. #THIS IS MY FAVORITE CROWLEY IS RAPHAEL HEADCANON#tbh i’m not crazy about the idea of Crowley being Raphael pre-fall#but the idea of him bullshitting his way through an awkward social interaction#and accidentally inventing a whole ass new angel??#with part of aziraphale’s name????!#lsndksnsksnsns its the equivalent of that scene where the person glances around the room and picks a random object as their name lsnsksmsms#this is so funny#good omens#crowley#favorite

#SIGNED SUBSCRIBED #headcanon accepted #i have no idae what is the deal with raphael thing but i know crowley. would.#good omens

perelka-l reblogged

narutoheretic

considering my fave headcanon is that Hiruzen+Koharu+Homura were Hashirama’s students and then kind of were shuffled in with Tobirama’s students after Hashi died, can you imagine those poor kids going from the teaching style of ‘let’s have a nice talk in the library about sealing! now let’s go outside and enjoy the sunshine awhile before we spar! gosh i love you guys so much<3′

to Tobirama waking them up in the middle of the night with a lantern and a shovel like ‘sup kids who’s up for a bit of grave robbing. side note that whiners will be used for jutsu testing’

#YES #headcanon accepted #naruto #also would explain why danzo was all HIRUZEN IS SO WEAK ITS ALL.FIRST HOKAGE INFLUENCE #like bruh