iphis

tirocinium libidinis..........

thumbs up

hold up the fucking gh. hgh?????

my dealer: got some straight gas this strain is called “bona dea rites” you’ll be zonked out of your gourd

me: yeah whatever i don’t feel shit

5 minutes later: dude i swear i just saw clodius pulcher dressed as a woman in here

my buddy julius pacing: caesar's wife must be above suspicion

im not calling you good boy antony that battle was shit

no homo but like do you want to become so textually intertwined that future historians have no idea where i end and you begin

"this meeting could've been an email" but instead it's "this ship war could've been a threesome"

none of you were gonna tell me about this? he fucked it so bad? took ages to die? i have treated you so wrong antony i fuck with you heavyyyy. he wound 🔥🔥

L + ratio + get proscribed :(

[ID: And edited twitter screenshot that now shows a picture of Marc Antony with the text "Marc Antony @ sexhaver12: "You turned the whole senate against me wow that's great. I'm taping 2 knives together and turning them into Mega knife. What is your home address" ]

hello august you piece of shit

goodbye august you piece of shit

had to get a caesarean section. yeah they cut my belly open thirty-three times and out came the bleeding ghost of the roman republic. thank god it wasn't a catonian section or i wouldn't have made it

fucking my way up the cursus honorum

today!

emperor augustus is such a funny guy to me like his list of accomplishments was insane and he was such a hugely influential figure in roman history. but then you read about some of the random shit his biographers tell us he did and you're like oh okay he was weird. one time he put a giant snake (which suetonius claims was 50 cubits long???) on display in the same public meeting space where cicero had once given speeches. just for fun i guess

the lgbtq+ community has not forgiven cicero