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Percy Jackson

@percybluecookieheaven

hey welcome to book Elysium!
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reblogged
tamaytka

My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story

Boyfriend: I... I don't even know the story that well babe, I can't even say xD
Me:Okay so
Me:Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he's like "You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later" and Minos is like "Sure yeah okay man whatever" so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like "Hot fuck look at that bull" And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of...keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it's one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon's no pushover so of course he notices.
Me:Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he's royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos' wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.
Boyfriend:..........Thefuck.
Me: But it's hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan
Boyfriend:I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??
Me: Ohh, no no no, that's the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different
Me:She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she's like "I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT" and Daedalus is like "That's really weird maybe you should talk to someone" and she's like "I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don't get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn't want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing."
Boyfriend: Oh..... oh no.
Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.
Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.
Me:So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she's been dreaming of
Boyfriend: I........ I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.
Me: Only she apparently hasn't been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like "What the fuck?" and Pasiphae is like "Honey I need to tell you something"
Me:And that is how it happened
Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS
Me: Welcome to Mythology.
#greek mythology#amirite#?
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reblogged
nicodiangelo176
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ka039

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS AND LADIES: if you walk from home, school, office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying holding a piece of paper with an address on it, DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE! take him straight to the police station for this is the new 'gang' way of rape. The incident is getting worse. Warn your families. Reblog this so this message can get accross to everyone.

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something-spectacular
I will always reblog things like this, it won’t ruin your blog or the look of it, and this could potentially save a life.

PLEASE reblog this.

I have reblogged this about three times now and I will never not reblog it

i actually heard of this happening in atlanta not that long ago. that shit is terrifying as hell.

idc if it may ruin my blog look or whatever, if it means word gets out about these bastards then imma reblog x1000

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sunflower-flow

reposting on my friends account

holy shit, that’s absolutely horrifying… definitely gonna reblog this shit, this could fucking save people’s lives.

Maybe this will be useful to some of my followers! 

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percybluecookieheaven

Everyone should see this, it's really important

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reblogged
itamas
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a12lmwbm

Brooke Ence is wondering if someone is looking for female Thor.

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carpephuckingdiem

Oh my God 💘

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ittybittymanatee

Oh my fucking god yes

She even has her own Mjolnir.

1: Holy shit wow

2: Whoever’s responsible for the lighting should be beaten with reeds because her head looks photoshopped on

3: SHE’S REAL LOOKIT LOOKIT

@ivinara

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coelasquid

Keepin’ for Angel reference

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percybluecookieheaven

Ok but... THIS IS GUNILLA not even joking. Its so accurate I'm in tears!

#gunilla#magnus Chase#sword of summer#rick riordan#uncle rick#samirah al abbas#blitz#hearthstone#hearth
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reblogged
thelastolympianhero
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spyderverse

a list of things that everyone should consider

  • percy with an undercut
  • percy platonically kissing all of his friends on their foreheads
  • percy always introducing his school friends from Goode to his camp friends and both groups are always like “you hang out with this loser too?”
  • re: when his hs friends meet annabeth they think it’s some kind of joke because holy shit she is gorgeous percy wtf
  • percy with an undercut
  • percy swimming for his high school and life guarding in the summer months at the local pool when he has time
  • buying excess amounts of skinny jeans because annabeth they make my butt look great
  • she doesn’t disagree
  • also he finds out that oversized sweaters are really fucking comfortable so that’s all he begins to wear during the winter
  • and beanies, don’t forget beanies
  • percy with an u n d e r c u t
#i agree with this#if you dont we can't be friends#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#annabeth chase#percy with an undercut#jason grace#piper mclean#hazel levesque#frank zhang#hoo#heroes of olympus
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