pepper

y do u think people don't like the age gap between j/a? do u reckon it's to do with "when he was 17, she was a newborn" or do you reckon it's a sexual thing (like they don't want to imagine it)? because srsly there's no power imbalance or anything .. i just find it odd when people can't give a specific reason - curious!

Good question, one that probably has as many different answers as there are people who don’t like the age gap. 

First off, I guess people don’t have to have a specific reason for disliking a thing. Sometimes, you just don’t like a thing, ya know? And that’s totally legit. You feel how you feel, and not having specific reasons for your feelings doesn’t invalidate them. Some people just don’t like relationships with a big age gap, and that’s that.

I obviously agree with you that there’s no power imbalance between Jeff and Annie—or that if there is one, it’s in Annie’s favor—but I suppose some people might feel differently. Maybe they’ve had a negative experience with dating someone much older or younger than themselves. Or maybe they feel like the power differential would always be too great regardless of their personalities, because Jeff and Annie met each other when she was a teenager. (You know, like Jay Z and Beyoncé, or Han Solo and Princess Leia…) 

This is all speculation, of course. And I always feel like I might have a bit of a different perspective on the age gap because I know several real-life happy couples with an age difference of 10+ years, including my own parents. Maybe not everyone knows those kinds of couples? 

Also, I’m about Jeff’s age, and I do have a few close relationships with people 10 or 15 years younger than I am (or older than I am, for that matter), and not only are those relationships on equal footing, but I’m barely aware of the age difference most of the time. How I click with people has a lot more to do with life experience and personality and worldview and sense of humor than it does with chronological age. It seems to me like Jeff and Annie—two people who’ve dealt with abuse, abandonment, anxiety, addiction, depression, disordered eating, and being bullied, among other things—would, once they got over themselves, barely register their age difference as a challenge at all.

(I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how to wrap this up for like ten minutes, and I’m drawing a blank. Basically I just want to say, this is only my opinion. If you hate J/A or another ship with a big age gap that is totally within your rights, and I am not telling you you’re wrong to feel that way, or hating on you for disagreeing with me. I’m merely explaining my opinions because someone asked. Please don’t send me anon hate. Thank you.)