So Ineffable

aziraphale: you know, crowley, i’ve always said that deep down, you really are quite a nice--

crowley: pins aziraphale to the wall

the whole fandom: gabriel voice thank you for my pornography!

oh my god i just thought of a great thing. you know how people will claim to help strangers who turn out to be angels? and heaven will be testing their hospitality with an angel/seeing if they show kindness to angels in disguise?

aziraphale probably has to do it. and he FUCKING HATES IT. he gets so disgruntled. “why do i have to dress like a beggar, these clothes are awful, why do i have to go sleep on the street, i don’t want to go ask random humans for hospitality, i want to sit in my shop, leave me alone. can’t i just make the face of jesus appear in someone’s toast again,” etc.etc.

This reminds me of this story in Bede’s Life of St. Cuthbert where St. Cuthbert gets a visit from a stranger who he thinks is a man and is actually an angel, and all the way through the story the stranger insists that he’s in a rush, he has to leave, no he can’t spend the night, until Cuthbert literally uses God’s name to get him to at least eat something. But then the moment he turns his back the stranger disappears, and the only evidence he was there is some really nice bread. And it’s such absolutely gorgeous bread and it smells so good that it finally hits Cuthbert that the guy was an angel, because only heaven could make bread like that.

But it just sounds like the most Aziraphale thing ever to be ordered to go meet some saintly guy, try to get out of there as fast as possible and finally go “fuck it, I’m going to leave him some really, really nice bread and that’s going to qualify as my miracle for today” and then just disappear.

miraculous bread, I’m weeping, aziraphale is real