So Ineffable

“Realistic” art of @writingelizabeth‘s beautiful creation, Snekley. I for one am going to headcanon this as Crowley’s true form from now on.

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SEEING THIS SKETCH IN A VERY DIFFERENT WAY FROM HOW I INTENDED FOR YOU TO SEE IT LMAO

aziraphale: you know, crowley, i’ve always said that deep down, you really are quite a nice--

crowley: pins aziraphale to the wall

the whole fandom: gabriel voice thank you for my pornography!

My favourite headcanon | Ko-Fi

The Tumblr app froze at just the right moment on this gif. 👀👀

Damn.

Don’t feel bad for Crowley. It’s his fault.

.

(freetalkn657: peddling a swan boat? harassed by waterfowl?)

this is silly 

see links for commission info! ^w^ kofi: jdgeboy 🌟💕

Is that or is that not Aziraphale holding back an epic bitch face in the last gif cos the waiter won’t gtfo?

@rocket-pool I’m actually dying now. I hope you’re happy.

Crowley has no sense of orientation...

No wonder it took them around 9 hours to get from London to Tadfield... even taking the M25 into account...

(Route from London to Tadfield based on the locations given in the book.)

"hey what's good omens about"

"thank you"

This is what I think every time I watch this scene lmao 

aziraphale: NO!!  ….    AB solutely not. ,,,,, I Am SHOckED thatyouwouldeven imPLY such a thi- wE’RE not HAVing this conversation not aNOTHer WOrd;;!!1   crowley later that day: 

Why can I fucking hear thisfucking post? Incould literally hear Aziraphale’s voice what kind of fucking sOrcerY-

I wonder if demons can learn to do good with the right angelic influence?

Wow, flirtation is the key! All I’ve got to do is bat my eyelashes and carefully suggest I’d like him to tempt me into his bed and I’ve got his full attention... where could this go wrong?

I can make a demon do good deeds! Just a little flirtation and he does whatever I want! Brilliant plan. He’s learning to be good! Where could this go wrong?

He’s actually quite wonderful really, isn’t he? This is tremendous fun... Where could this go wrong?

It went wrong. I actually do want him to tempt me into his bed... In fact, I’m desperately in love with him... oh dear...

Inspired by a conversation with @angel-and-serpent

Well you’re not wrong... 😆

Careful step and Yeet™

you cannot tell me that Crowley, at his most vengeful, doesn’t follow Aziraphale around the bookshop annoying the ever-loving fuck out of him like a petulant toddler. 

If Aziraphale were to cut off the wine supplies or decide to skip out on dinner in favor of translating the new stack of bibles that came through, Crowley would absolutely use every demonic trick in the book to make his existence a living hell. After all, he wasn’t just the demon of Earthly Temptations and Small Inconveniences. He was the department head. He’s a first class demon, and he’s got one or two tricks up his sleeve to create pandemonium. 

He could make Aziraphale rue the day he’d ever chosen Heaven over Earth. 

And I don’t mean he’d ruin any books. 

And I don’t mean he’d set anything aflame. 

And I don’t even mean he’d threaten or bribe or torture or main or hurl cruel insults towards the heavenly shopkeeper. 

No. 

Crowley would just fan out his wings and wind them around Aziraphale, blocking out all the best book reading light, and do this. 

In case no one knows what I’m talking about, here’s the video. 

Please watch it. 

Watch it, and imagine the despair Aziraphale will endure as he’s subjected to true demonic wiles. 

Crowley: You’ve insulted me beyond mercy. 

Aziraphale: Crowley…

Crowley: [extending his wings] There will be no forgiveness. 

Aziraphale: Crowley, no…

Crowley: [holding his wings over the Angel] you give me no choice!

Aziraphale: Crowley, please…

Crowley: Prepare to endure the ultimate demonic punishment! 

Aziraphale: -_- 

Crowley: nighttime

Crowley: DAYTIME!

Aziraphale: Crowley I swear to God-

God: [somewhere up in Heaven, behind door three, munching on popcorn] he’s your problem now, fam. 

Crowley: nighttime

Crowley: DAYTIME!

@copperbadge

I feel like we are possibly not giving Principality “That Means I’m The Dad-Bastard” Aziraphale due credit. Crowley might get away with this once, for about five minutes, but the absolute second that Aziraphale loses his patience or his place in his book it’s game-over for AJ “Evil Contains The Seeds Of Its Own Inconvenience” Crowley. 

Crowley: nighttime

Crowley: DAYTIME!

Crowley: nighttime – 

Aziraphale: *manifests a halo so bright that it singes Crowley’s primaries while simultaneously lifting a book over his head to smack Crowley in the forehead with it.*

Crowley: *stumbling backwards and patting out the flames on his wings* Angel what the fuck

Aziraphale: Daytime. *sips tea*

I’m practically weeping with laughter. 😂

These are all real, actual phrases and I love them.