All We Are

Javier was sitting at the bar, visibly stressed with his tie loosened around his neck and his blazer draped over the back of his seat. Being part of the DEA whose sole focus was on capturing Pablo Escobar was tiring; it felt like no matter what he and his team did, Pablo was always ten steps ahead of them. 

By now, he would have probably been with some other woman whose name he wouldn’t bother learning, but when he heard that you were in Bogotá to cover a story for the ongoing drug war, Javier knew he couldn’t resist. 

He needed you. 

As much as you needed him. 

You and Javier met long before he was sent to Colombia. There was so much history between the both of you; meeting when he was first starting out in the Drug Enforcement Administration and you, an aspiring journalist focused on foreign affairs. 

While you two shared plenty of secrets and plenty of vulnerable moments, there were way more endless nights filled with an insane amount of sex. It had become a routine, a cycle, that you both would be at each other’s disposal. When the job would get too stressful, you would call each other to alleviate the stress, to be a distraction from reality. 

Neither you or Javier minded. It was a mutual, unspoken agreement that you both had come to terms with. It worked. For a long time, it worked. However, as you both became more successful, you realized just how similar you both were. Always trying to be better than the other, thinking that this was all some sort of game. 

If you had written a successful story, Javier would be right there to tell you of the accomplishments he achieved so far. 

If Javier scored a big bust after many late nights, you would be right there to tell him that you were working on something that would be even bigger. 

Neither of you knew when the dynamic shifted, but it always kept you both on each other’s toes. It was almost as if you were both pushing each other to be better, to be more successful, in a way where it seemed like it was a competition. 

And sex? Well, that was a different game entirely. After having sex with each other, you both would take note of the marks, the scratches, the bruises that you both had left each other. 

And tonight, you were going to meet Javier at a bar. You knew exactly how tonight was going to go and you were excited. Smug, even, to talk to him and tell him how excited you were to be covering the Pablo Escobar drug war that he was a part of. 

At the corner of his eye, Javier noticed the door to the bar swinging open. He looked up and noticed you immediately. It had been too long and he let a smirk line his lips as his eyes obviously raked your entire frame, taking note of the tight, black dress that stopped just right above your knee. He had to wonder if you wore this specifically for him. 

When your eyes met his, Javier watched as you smiled so big that for a moment, he forgot where he was and what was bothering him. He hadn’t ever thought of settling down after his most recent failed relationship where he left another woman at the altar. Part of him would blame it on the snowstorm that prevented him from getting to his wedding, but another part of him — a part that he wouldn’t admit — knew that that woman wasn’t the one he wanted, wasn’t the one he loved. 

“Agent Peña,” you grinned, draping your coat over the back of the vacant chair next to him. 

“Mm, siempre hermosa,” he winked, making it completely obvious that he was checking you out. Javier stood from his seat, wrapping a single arm around your waist. You leaned into him instantly, inhaling his scent and letting out a quiet sigh. God it had been too long. When he kissed your temple, you leaned into him further, biting your lower lip. 

“Already starting with that, huh?” you teased, pulling away from him slowly. 

“What?” Javier smiled innocently, his head tilting as he stared directly into your eyes. 

“Oh, stop,” you rolled your eyes. “You know what that does to me.”

“What does it do to you, cariño?” Javier whispered. 

Biting your lower lip, you gently pushed him away and shook your head. “Oh no. You’re not gonna get me squirming first.”

“Hm, you sure about that?” 

“Positive. Now, you’re buying me a drink.”

Javier chuckled, pulling away from you and raising a hand in the air to get the bartender’s attention. You ordered your drink and sat down next to him, turning to face him as he leaned against the counter of the bar.

“So, Bogotá, huh?” Javier asked, bringing his drink to his lips. 

“What can I say? Pablo Escobar is definitely gaining a lot of attention and you know me,” you smiled. “I like to follow the chaos.”

“Or you like to follow me,” Javier quipped. 

“Damn,” you chuckled. “You must not be getting laid if you’re already flirting with me,” you teased.

Javier rolled his eyes. “I get plenty.”

“Hm, doesn’t seem like it.” You winked.

The bartender set your drink down in front of you and you smiled, “Gracias.” 

Javier looked over at you, arching a brow. “Look at you, already speaking Spanish.”

“I’m trying,” you replied. “You never were a good teacher.”

“You were hard to teach.”

“You didn’t have the patience.”

Javier smirked, “You were a distraction.”

You rolled your eyes. “You couldn’t keep your hands off of me.”

“And you didn’t do anything about it,” he replied quickly. Javier downed his drink and set it down on the counter, leaning forward so that his lips were resting near your ear. In this space, Javier could smell your perfume; it was intoxicating and brought him back so many wonderful memories. 

You could feel his breath hot against your ear and when he whispered, quietly with a husky tone, you felt yourself slowly breaking. 

“Te extrañé,” Javier whispered. 

You pulled back enough to look up at him. Big, brown eyes were staring back at you and in that moment, everyone else disappeared. All that mattered was the man in front of you, the man you had been in love with for so many years. 

Javier ran his tongue across his lower lip, looking into your eyes. Mere inches separated from your lips touching his and quietly, you asked, “What’s that mean?”

Javier smiled. “Means I missed you.” 

For a brief second, you faltered. You felt your stomach do flips, a pink-colored hue slowly appearing on your cheeks. You looked at him with soft eyes and gently pulled on his tie, bringing him closer to you. 

“Been a while since you had sex, huh?” You whispered, gently brushing your lips against his. For a moment, he thought he had seen something different in your eyes, in your features, that maybe you loved him as much as he loved you too. 

Instead, Javier growled. A switch flipped in his mind and he cupped your neck, pulling you closer. He took this chance to gently nip at your lower lip, hearing you quietly whimper. 

“After all this time and yet you still don’t listen?” Javier asked. 

You looked up at him, trying to feign innocence with your eyes. “Maybe I need a reminder.”

Javier grinned, “Ay, chica mala.”

Javier speaking Spanish would always do things to you that you had no control over. It was like you melted into a puddle, a sudden willingness to do whatever he wanted. Gently, you pecked his lips, missing the way his lips felt as it brought you back to the sleepless nights you shared with each other. 

Javier pulled back enough to look at you, his hand dropping from your neck and back to his side. While he had plenty of sex since he had been here in Bogotá, it just never compared to you. No other woman had ever compared to you.

“We should slow down,” you teased. “I barely touched my drink.”

“Catch up then,” Javier smirked, ordering himself another drink.

Three drinks and two hours later, you and Javier were laughing, touching each other whenever either of you had the chance, and truthfully, it felt like no time had passed. It was like picking up where you both left off. 

“So, Pablo Escobar… Seems like he’s giving you guys trouble.”

Javier sighed. “I don’t want to talk about work.”

You nodded in understanding. “Are you taking care of yourself though?” 

He bit the inside of his cheek. Only you would know how much this would take a toll on him. “I’m managing.” 

“Hm,” you replied. “I’m taking that as a no.”

“I’ll be fine, cariño.” 

“Well, I’m here for about two months,” you said. 

“Oh?” Javier asked, sipping his drink. 

“Yes,” you answered. “Don’t look so excited,” you teased.

Javier chuckled. “I am excited. I like being with you.”

Again, you felt your stomach do flips. You felt a blush creep up along your neck to your cheeks. “Me too. I did miss you, you know.”

“Really?” Javier asked. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“Oh please, you were busy too.”

“Phone works both ways, baby.”

You sighed. He was right. There were so many missed calls from him and you just never had the chance to give him a call back and even when you did, he was never available and you never bothered to leave a message. You just assumed he had his mind elsewhere. 

You didn’t respond. Instead, you downed your drink and stood from your chair. You looked over at the dance floor, wanting to quickly change the subject. Javier followed your eyes and tightened his jaw; it hurt him when you never returned his calls since it made him wonder if the feelings he had for you were only one-sided. 

“Wanna dance?” You asked.

“I don’t dance.”

“That’s a lie. I know those hips can move.”

“Oh, yes you do,” he winked. 

“Come on.” You grabbed his hand, gently tugging him with you to the dance floor.

“One dance,” he said. “You’re lucky I like you.” 

“Lucky me,” you grinned. 

The music blasted throughout the bar and there were so many bodies moving with the beat that no one was paying attention to either you or Javier. So, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and you felt his arms wrap around your waist, bringing you flush against him. The music was upbeat, but you and Javier were slowly swaying with each other, bodies so close that there was no inch of space between the both of you. 

You looked into his eyes. This felt like home to you. Javier felt like home to you. 

Javier kept his eyes focused on you. Feeling your body against his with your eyes staring into his, he felt calm, at peace, without any stressors weighing on his shoulders. You made every concern and worry disappear and Javier found himself wanting to hold onto it, onto you, as long as he could. 

“Wanna get out of here?” You asked, standing on your toes to whisper in his ear. 

Javier pulled back. He looked down at you and grinned, deciding to turn it back to you and tease you. “You’re not getting laid back home?”

You rolled your eyes, gently pushing him away. “Take me back to your place.”

—

Once the door shut to Javier’s apartment, he pulled you into his arms, gently backing you up against the wall. He looked down at you and growled lowly, pressing his lips instantly to yours. He groaned, his hands moving to your hips as your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders. Immediately, you moved your lips with his, parting them just slightly to let out a quiet moan when you felt one of his hands move to grasp your backside.

Javier pulled away to move his lips along your jawline and down to the side of your neck. He gently bit down on your skin, sucking on it afterwards as he used both hands to pick you up, feeling your legs wrap around his waist. He continued kissing and marking along your neck as he walked towards his bedroom. Your moans filtered his apartment and it sounded like music to Javier’s ears. 

Gently, he tossed you onto his mattress. You let out a quiet squeal of surprise before looking up at him, noticing the center of pants and the growing bulge beneath it. Biting your lower lip, you kicked off your heels and stood from his bed, grabbing the end of his tie roughly. 

Javier grinned. “Mm, baby.”

You nodded, gently shoving him onto his back. You watched him fall back onto his mattress and before he could even get up, you straddled his waist, lifting your dress above your hips to reveal the lacy, black thong. Rolling your hips, you felt his bulge firmly against your clothed sex. You looked down at him, removing his tie and beginning to unbutton his shirt impatiently. 

Normally, Javier would like to fight you for dominance, but seeing you like this after so long, he couldn’t help but just lie there and take it. It felt so good to have your hands running along his frame, your lips nipping at his skin along his neck, and your hips rolling against him. 

“Fuck,” he groaned, feeling your teeth run along his jawline as your fingertips lightly dragged down the front of his chest. “Stop teasing me, baby and just fuck me already.”

“Can I get a please?” 

Javier growled. He shook his head and rolled you over onto your back. He settled himself between your legs and looked down at you. Your hair splayed on his sheets and your lips were swollen from the intense kisses you both shared. He also noticed the markings his lips left along your neck and he smiled to himself.

“If anyone’s begging, baby, it’s gonna be you.” Javier pulled his shirt from his body and unbuckled his belt, pushing his pants down to his legs and kicking them to the side. As his member stood erect, he pulled your panties roughly down your pants and ripped your dress apart in two. When he realized you hadn’t worn a bra and your breasts spilled out, greeting him almost invitingly, Javier felt like he could have reached his high right there. 

You had worn this dress just for him. 

“Javi, please…” 

Javier grinned. He grasped his member, bringing his tip to align with your opening. Gently, he ran his tip along the length of your sex, watching you closely as your eyes fell shut and your hands gripped his sheets. He was teasing you, like he always had, but he felt himself losing his resolve. Javier gently pushed his tip past your folds, moaning quietly to himself.

“Javier…” you whimpered, opening your eyes to look up at him. “Just take me, please!” 

“That’s my girl,” Javier smirked. He pushed himself even further, letting out a loud moan at the feel of your walls making way for his girth and size. Javier missed this, missed you. He didn’t move for a few seconds, savoring the way your walls wrapped tightly around his length and the way your legs wrapped around his waist. No other woman could ever compare to you, he thought. 

Slowly, Javier moved his hips, pushing in and out of you at a slow pace. He moved one hand to move your hair away from your face, watching as you leaned against his touch. Your eyes looked up at him as he continued to move. Your moans mixed with his and you both kept eye contact. It was so intimate, so different than what you were both used to. 

“Told you those hips can move,” you whispered, biting the inside of your cheek as he delivered a sharp thrust that elicited a loud moan from you.

Javier chuckled, gently placing a soft kiss on your lips. He pulled away from you, immediately feeling your tightness around him. You whimpered, missing the feel of him filling you up. 

Before you could protest, Javier pulled you roughly to the edge of the bed. He stood up and aligned himself back to your folds, snapping his hips against yours. He grasped your hips tightly, his fingertips digging into your skin as he continued to push in and out of you at a quick pace. 

You moaned aloud, keeping your legs spread open for him. With each thrust, Javier was bringing you closer and closer to the edge of your climax. You could feel yourself slowly come undone and the feeling was intense that you tried to pull away from him, to make him slow down, but Javier knew it was coming. 

He knew you were close. 

So he pulled out and turned you around, making you stand on all fours. With your backside in the air, Javier grasped your hips and slid back into you. He groaned aloud, moving one hand to your shoulder as the other hand connected with your backside, leaving a red imprint of Javier’s hand. 

You let out a loud moan, pushing back against him eagerly as your hands gripped the sheets so tight that your knuckles had turned white. 

“Javier!” You moaned, feeling his hips continuously snap against yours. The sounds of your moans mixed in with the sounds of flesh slapping against each other filtered his room. He slapped your ass again, stopping his movements to watch you bounce back against him. 

Javier growled at the sight of you and watched as you looked at him from over your shoulder. He gripped your hips tightly, pulling you back against him as his hips took a chaotic and rhythmic pace. He was close too and he could tell that you were waiting for him to reach his high first. 

“Come for me, cariño,” he groaned. Javier reached around, gently rubbing your bundle of nerves as his hips continued to slam into yours. 

That was all it took. With one circular motion on your bud mixed with Javier’s thrusts and the feeling of his member filling you up completely made you reach your high. You let out a loud moan, pushing back against him as your body trembled and your orgasm reached its ultimate high. 

Javier didn’t falter though. He continued to push against you, slapping your backside once more. He growled to himself, feeling your walls tighten even further around his member, wrapping tightly in a vice. Your walls milked him with each thrust and Javier felt himself nearing closer and closer to the edge. With one hard thrust, he pulled back out and slowly released along your lower back. His body shook too; the only time he had ever reached his climax like this was whenever he had sex with you. 

You both were breathing heavily and Javier had grabbed a towel to wipe his release off of you. Once he cleaned you up, you moved to lie on your back. His eyes raked over your bare frame, licking his lips. 

“Wow,” you smiled, gently tugging on his arm to pull you down next to him. 

“You wanna take back what you said about me not having enough sex?”

You shrugged, “Eh.”

Javier chuckled, pulling you into his arms. He grabbed his blanket and draped it over both your bodies. Gently, he leaned down to peck your lips. 

“So, two months you’ll be here?”

“With a possibility for a longer stay.”

Javier arched his brow. “Oh yeah?” 

“It’s a possibility.” 

“Good,” he said. “Good.”

“Why do you ask?”

“Just want to make sure we can do that again.” 

You smiled. “Oh, we’re definitely doing that again.”

—

Two months had passed since you arrived in Bogotá and mostly every night, you spent with Javier. Your relationship with the man shifted and you weren’t sure when it happened, but it started to feel like you were both now in a committed relationship without putting a label on it. When you or Javier weren’t working, you would be spending it with each other. Part of you wanted to believe that it was because you were on borrowed time and eventually, you would be going back home to the states. But, another part of you wanted to believe that Javier truly felt the way you did. 

“I thought you could extend your stay,” Javier said, watching you pack your bags.

“I tried,” you replied. “The story’s changed. The attention is elsewhere now.” 

“Are you kidding?” He asked, lighting another cigarette. “We still haven’t caught Escobar!”

“I know, Javi…” you sighed, looking over at him. “But who knows how long that will take…”

“It’ll take as long as it does! We’re getting somewhere. We have more intel and–”

“Javier,” you stopped packing for a moment to walk over to him. He was shirtless, the Bogotá weather calling for as little clothes as possible whenever you both were home. “I’ll be back.”

“Right.” He sighed, shaking his head. “You don’t have to lie to me to make me feel better.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes, you are, cariño!” Javier exclaimed, not realizing how loud his voice had gotten. “These past two months were just a distraction, a way for the both of us to forget the reality of what’s going on in the world, right?” 

“You don’t believe that, do you?”

“That’s all we are to each other, isn’t it?” He replied, looking at you. Long gone was the soft look he had in his eyes whenever he looked at you. Instead, it was replaced with a look of hurt, a look of betrayal, and you could see the walls slowly building around him, around his heart. 

“That’s not true.”

“It is, though.” Javier shook his head. “It’s what worked for us all these years… Being at each other’s disposal, using each other to forget the shitty things we have to deal with at work.” 

Tears filled your eyes. Maybe he didn’t love you like you thought. “Stop,” you whispered. “Just stop.”

“Me?” He asked, letting out a puff of smoke. “You’re the one leaving!” 

“I have to!” 

“No, you don’t!”

“Javier,” you sighed. “It’s my job. I don’t want to leave, but I have to…”

He scoffed. “You always put work first.”

Widening your eyes, you grabbed his cigarette and put it out on the ashtray on his nightstand. “Are you kidding me right now?” 

“It’s true. Ever since we met, you were always so focused on–”

“You’re such a fucking asshole.”

Javier tightened his jaw. “I know, but–”

“No, no buts. I have given you every chance to make this more than what it is,” you admitted. “I put myself at your disposal, hoping one day you’ll notice that I want you more than just some fuck buddy!” 

His eyes softened. He furrowed a brow. Javier never noticed. “Cariño, I–”

“No. Do you know how I felt when you got engaged to Lorraine?”

Javier shook his head. “I didn’t know,” he answered. “I didn’t know that you–”

“That’s because you were so focused on everyone and everything else but me! Because you knew that no matter what, I would always be there. I would never leave.” 

“And you did…”

“No, you did! You came here, to Bogotá!” 

“For work!” Javier immediately knew what you were implying, what you were getting at, and as soon as the words left his mouth, he sighed and stared up at you with apologetic eyes.

“Exactly, cariño.” You said, shaking your head. “So, don’t sit here and act like I’m the one who’s hurting you, who’s deciding to leave, because I have always stuck by your side. Even when it fucking hurt me.” 

You moved to your suitcase, continuing to pack. You could hear Javier shuffle behind you and you didn’t need to look over at him to know that he was probably pacing back and forth, thinking and pondering on what just happened. 

“You’ve never wanted more with me, Javi,” you whispered. “But you know what, maybe you’re right. Maybe this is all we are to each other. Maybe that’s why this works.”

Javier sighed and stopped pacing, moving to sit at the edge of his bed again. He glanced over at you, feeling his heart break as you continued to pack your things. The past two months had opened his eyes and shown him that the woman who kept him grounded and managed to ease away any stress or concern was you. 

But he didn’t have it in him to fight, to beg you to stay. 

“Maybe,” Javier replied. “Maybe that’s all we’ll ever be to each other.”

Your heart broke and when you looked over at him, tears filling your eyes, you knew that Javier didn’t mean it, didn’t believe it. 

But you didn’t have any more fight left in you to convince him otherwise. 

“Glad we’re on the same page,” you whispered, your voice shaky as you wiped away your tears. “Drop me off at the airport tomorrow morning?”

Javier sighed. His heart was breaking and he nodded, gently grabbing your hand to pull you into his arms. He hugged you tight, afraid to let you go as his forehead rested against your abdomen. 

You wrapped your arms around him, running your fingertips over his dark locks as you stood between his legs. 

“These past two months have been amazing,” you whispered, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. 

Javier nodded, pulling back to look up at you. “Gave me a glimpse of what life would be like with you.” 

“And what’s the verdict? You like it or no?”

He stood up and cupped your cheek. Staring into your eyes, Javier replied, “It’s the life I’ve always wanted.”

—

@pedrostories