@payslipgig / payslipgig.tumblr.com
just rememvered that guy on tiktok whos been spraying his hands with dog medicine to make them hard as fuck and how the last time i saw him he was capable of sanding soft wood down with the palm of his hand
i dont like this at all man
Welcome to the fist of dog medicine tournament
Roommate went out of town once, asked me to look after her cat.
Night one she comes down meowing at me. I go check her food/water, they're full. Litter box empty. Make sure my roommate's door is still open and she's not locked out of her room or something. I try to pet her and she dodges me, offer her treats and she won't have it, try playing with her but she won't play, try just ignoring her and she won't stop following me around meowing at me.
So I call my roommate, concerned maybe she was sick or in pain and that's why she was being so insistent despite having all her needs met.
Roommate goes: "OH! She wants you to go to bed. Go upstairs to my room and just sit in my bed with her for a few minutes. She should curl up and get comfortable. Once shes laid down she usually lets me go back to what I'm doing she just can't seem to go to bed on her own"
Sure enough, I go sit on roommates bed and she just happily jumps up, curls up on the blanket, and purrs herself to sleep.
I like when cats try to give their humans healthy habits.
Don Pierrot of Navarre always sat up at night until I came home, waiting for me on the inside of the door, and as soon as I stepped into the antechamber he would come rubbing himself against my legs, arching his back and purring in gladsome, friendly fashion. Then he would start to walk in front of me, preceding me like a page, and I am sure that if I had asked him to do so, he would have carried my candle. In this way he would escort me to my bedroom, wait until I had undressed, jump up on the bed, put his paws round my neck, rub his nose against mine, lick me with his tiny red tongue, rough as a file, and utter little inarticulate cries by way of expressing unmistakably the pleasure he felt at seeing me again. When he had sufficiently caressed me and it was time to sleep he used to perch upon the backboard of his bed and slept there like a bird roosting on a branch. As soon as I woke in the morning, he would come and stretch out beside me until I rose. Midnight was the latest time allowed for my return home. On this point Pierrot was as inflexible as a janitor... Twice or thrice Pierrot sat up for me until two o’clock in the morning, but presently he took offence at my conduct and went to bed without waiting for me. I was touched by this mute protest against my innocently disorderly way of life, and thereafter I regularly returned home at midnight. Pierrot, however, proved hard to win back; he wanted to make sure that my repentance was no mere passing matter, but once he was convinced that I had really reformed, he deigned to restore me to his good graces and again took up his nightly post in the antechamber.
Cats : trying to make us go to bed at a Reasonable Time since forever (so they can wake us up at 3 am for treats)
I really recommend clicking the link - it is the piece of writing from which this quote is an excerpt, obviously written by a man who really gets cats, in a way that any number of self-professed cat-lovers I've met don't manage to. As a bonus, he talks affectionately about his pet rats as well!
Hilariously funny that they let the guy known for wandering off without warning to look at birds was allowed to do this
Book I found in the used bookstore where I work. The whole thing looks like this and I have no idea what it’s supposed to be as there’s no clear title either.
This is a problem as it’s in the “to be shelved” pile and I’m the one who’s supposed to figure out where to shelve it.
Okay, it looks like it’s the script for some kind of performance or ceremony? But heavily abbreviated. Like it’s assumed the participants already know the words and just need this as a reminder, like “the next word starts with b… oh right”.
it's a crib for freemasonic ceremonies
worshipful master: has it a name?
senior deacon (or second degree mb): it has
worshipful master: give it me
etc
Fascinated that this managed to reach someone who recognized it within fifteen minutes of posting. Thank you for your swift identification.
this is the funniest thing I’ve read in my LIFE
HIM????
it's real btw
Op here, we're going strong!! Here's a picture of our Goob shrine
every time I find a pill on the ground I take it home with me and draw a picture of it with crayons. here's the collection so far.
^ the very first pill I found & drew. couldn't identify it (markings rubbed off) but it looked very beautiful to me.
^pill no. 2: fluoxetine. my greatest find and finest crayon drawing. sorry to whoever lost their fluoxetine. I'll save it for a special occasion. I used a sharpie pen to clean up some lines on this one I think.
^ pill no. 3: ibuprofen. accidentally closed my laptop on this one, destroying it. and getting goop on my laptop. I found another one though. People drop a lot of painkillers. The first 2 used only colors from the classic 24 pack of crayons, but I had to break out extras from my childhood crayon collection for this one.
^pill no. 4: benadryl. this pill was crumbling inside its plastic when I found it, but it was intact enough to take home and draw! Hooray.
^pill no. 5: midol. this one was real scuffed up. I actually found an entire bottle of midol on another occasion, and someone's last 2 weeks of birth control yet another time, but those are the kind of things I leave behind because someone's likely to miss their entire bottle of midol or sealed birth control and come back for it.
^pill no. 6: unfinished advil/ibuprofen. I find a lot of painkillers, as mentioned, so I guess I got bored. I also have a drawing of acetaminophen that I am not posting because I don't like it.
^pill no. 7: severe tylenol. I didn't know such a thing existed until I found it on the ground. "severe tylenol" makes it sound like the tylenol is mean. this was among the more challenging ones and it's kinda rushed, but drawing the plastic was fun. just did this one an hour ago.
in case you're wondering, I do keep the pills when possible. I like to hold onto my reference material. they live in a separate box from my vintage ibuprofen collection.
Having a great time reading contemporary reviews of Digimon: The Movie
so my highschool was huge, and for god knows what reason, cross country was super popular. at my highschool of maybe 6000 kids we have close to 750 cross country runners. we needed four or five busses to take us to meets. it was absolutely fucking insane.
anyway, i have this core memory of us running as this big, thundering herd down the main stroad of my hometown, and this one car had inched up pretty far past the stop sign to try and see around the car, and the guy leading our group decided, for god knows what reason, to open this big car's passenger door, scooch across the back three seats, and pop out the other side.
but then the guy behind him did the same, and we all just decided, why not, so we all did, and there was this old guy yelling at us but he couldn't just pull away because there was this unending 750 person long conga line of overheated hyperventilating sweat slick scrawny mormon kids slithering all over his leather seats and if hed tried to pull away at any point after the first guy he'd have kidnapped at least three of em.
for bonus points this guy lived in the area, and every time we ran past him he'd just lay on the horn, but to get back at him wed run into neighborhoods that we saw him enter and wed make these giant congo lines at crosswalks and shit just to fuck with him. we tormented that man.
this is so fucking funny
i can't stop thinking about this. this kind of shit is not like milsim plane nerds with their own super-expensive desktop cockpit recreations. that kind of hardware makes sense to exist.
this does not. they're playing world of tanks which is like the "call of duty" of tank games (casual, players only slightly bad-smelling). it also doesn't have support for tank peripherals. no game does. no trainers do afaik. which means that (assuming this isn't just a video editing) all of that shit they are fucking with translates into mouse/keyboard inputs that the game understands. that's weird/hard and perplexing, uh, and considering that "tank peripherals" aren't a thing that exist i can only guess they built them theirselves
which is fucking hilarious because why are they so good. why does the fucking cannon breech have a little dry ice smoke effect when the breech opens like they just shot a shell. what. manual turret traverse crank?? did they build a fucking ready rack!! they're even using the correct phraseology which means one of these mofos read a PDF file
I'm on the bluegrass music part of youtube right now and i stumbled across this comment on a really talented banjo cover
The idea that some serbian dad is in the same part of youtube as I am and his 5 year old son is hearing this fire banjo rendition of Foggy Mountain Breakdown for the first and going absolutely ape shit he likes it so much that he's running and jumping all across and around their house is just sending me. Peace and love on planet earth.
Yeah this gonna bang on here I can smell it
i love how her friends immediately recognize her cat's typing style and know her cat's name :3
Reading reviews of loft beds and dawn is absolutely dragging her son on here instead of reviewing the product. Howling
