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Citizens of Tomorrow, Be Forewarned

@payslipgig / payslipgig.tumblr.com

they/them/she in a pinch
Star Trek, Linguistics, Religious Studies, usual odds and ends. Post-college but hopeful pre-grad bc t1 diabetes came for my kneecaps and academia is my chosen form of torment
This feels like a job application claiming I’m a go-getter and lying
IM me @well-dressed-jaguar
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zombified-queer
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a-spoon-is-born
“You have to cheat. Ask for as many extensions on papers as you possibly can. Pretend your computer is broken. Use your charm if you have any. If you’re going to cry, don’t wait until you’re out of the room–do it where the people in power can see you. Eat the same food every day if you can’t think of anything else to make. Put other things ahead of taking a shower, even if your mom said you have to take a shower every two days. Sometimes people won’t notice you’re cheating but even if they do and are annoyed you might still get by. My mom goes to workshops for people with ASD and then gives me the really long printouts that go along with them. The printouts tell me to sit down and make a list of everything I have to do. When I am anxious, as I have been this year, it’s hard to think about these things so I hold on to the printouts out of guilt but don’t actually read them. Then my mom finds them and gets upset that I haven’t read them and says that I’m not ready to live on my own. But I am ready to live on my own. Badly. Just like I can hold down a full-time job. Badly. Just like I am getting my homework done. Badly. And I forget to balance my checkbook, which none of my non-disabled friends do because you can get it online, and my mom says, “Well it’s different for you because they would be able to do it if they needed to, but you wouldn’t, so you have to do it.” Theoretically I understand this is true, but my checkbook remains unbalanced. Which is bad. And I feel bad. I do! At this rate I’ll never be able to go to college. But I do go to college. At this rate I’ll never be able to have any friends. But I do have friends. I just don’t do everything right with them all the time. For people whose lives are controlled by executive dysfunction, I firmly believe the difference between getting stuff done and not getting stuff done is not caring about doing things right. You cannot always make a list all the time and be early for everything. You just can’t. Hopefully you’re good-looking or funny or you remind someone of their niece. Exploit all opportunities. Do not do what people who are not disabled tell you to do (unless you want to, of course). All too often I find myself waiting for the day when I can do shit properly, which more or less amounts to waiting until I’m not disabled anymore. Then I can feel good enough to deserve everything I want. Well my cure is slow in arriving, so I’m just going to do everything I want now, if that’s okay with you.”

—

from I’m Somewhere Else, “Max is a Miracle”

The best advice I’ve heard on how to get through college with a developmental disability when there are zero accommodations for executive dysfunction. You can’t let anyone else try to live your life for you, and you cannot worry about “doing things right”. Also: none of the things described here as “cheating” are ACTUALLY cheating.

#asd#neurodivergent#ableism#disability#things to remember#I am constantly stuck in stasis waiting for things to be Right#the right time the right place the right tools#‘which more or less amounts to waiting til I’m not disabled anymore’#holy shit what a perfect description
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millenniumitem
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metapianycist

it is really cool that there is now an official maori word for autism, created with input from autistic maoris, and it was specifically coined to be nonjudgmental

quote from article:

“In my experience, people with autism tend to have their own timing, spacing, pacing and life-rhythm, so I interpreted autism as ‘takiwatanga’, meaning ‘his or her own time and space’,” [Keri Opai] told government-funded Maori Television.

(source)

#autism#asd#Maori#indigenous
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moniquill
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butterflyinthewell
The panel discussion being broadcast was teens and adults with autism and how federal funding could better support them. As the show closed, the moderator asked if anyone on the panel felt a vaccine had caused their autism. Silence. One teen panelist spoke up, “no, but it hurts that you would ask that question.” The moderator’s tone softened, he apologized and asked why. I’m going to paraphrase the boy’s response because it has been several years and for the life of me I have not been able to find a transcript of this event anywhere, which has driven me to madness. If anyone from C-SPAN reads this and knows the talk I’m referring to, please send me a transcript! The panelist’s response was incredibly moving and I wish I could give him credit for it and do his response justice. As I recall his response was, “because it makes me feel like I’m damaged or broken, when I’m not. I was born this way. My brain just works differently than most other people’s. When people talk about vaccines and autism it makes me feel like I’m not a person but a ‘bad result.’ It reminds me that no one wants a kid like me and parents will risk their kid’s lives and everyone else’s just to make sure their kid doesn’t turn out like me.” There was silence on the radio. By this time I’d pulled into our parking spot at home and sat in the car in silence as well. It was a moment of epiphany. Oh bleep, I thought. I’ve never thought of it like that. The panelist’s words were so loaded and unfiltered. He was speaking from the heart and I could imagine the pain he felt when he described that some parents would rather have their children die than turn out like him. That is an incredible and completely unnecessary burden for any child to carry around, yet any time vaccines were discussed, those assumptions were coded in language.

http://thescientificparent.org/vaccines-dont-cause-autism-but-thats-not-the-point/ (via lir-illir)

#autism#ASD
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madseason
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slashmarks

The thing about theory of mind is that no one is good at it.

Neurotypical adults regularly fail questions like “if person A gives person B a restaurant recommendation, the restaurant turns out to be terrible, and person B texts “Thanks,” does person A know this is sarcastic?”*

The thing that allows neurotypical adults to come off as good at theory of mind is that the people they talk to every day are more like themselves; if you’re talking to someone a lot like you, then it doesn’t matter if you aren’t good at reasoning out what they’re thinking because acting like they’re just like you is more likely to work.

This breaks down when they talk to people who aren’t like them. Not considering that someone who keeps interrupting you may be doing it because it’s their cultural norm, because you’d only do it to be rude? Theory of mind failure. Your math professor not trying to teach in different ways because they got it instinctively, so can’t everyone? Theory of mind failure. Someone repeatedly recommending new treatments and exercises to you to cure your chronic illness, not realizing you’ve probably thought of that already? Theory of mind failure.

Autistic people often have very different perspectives from neurotypical people, because of all of the sensory and communication and thought differences. This kind of difference makes theory of mind harder for everyone. So yes, an autistic person failing to work out what body language they don’t use is supposed to express is a failure of theory of mind. So is a neurotypical person deciding that an autistic person’s flapping is attention-seeking – they’re just taking their own reaction and assuming it’s what was sought, rather than, you know, reasoning out what the autistic person is thinking.

Autistic people can have specific disability-related issues with theory of mind. But pretty much everyone has trouble with it regularly – and the reason autistic people come off as worse at it is that autistic people usually spend all their time interacting with people very different from themselves.

*The answer is no. 

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soilrockslove

Yeah, and I’ve also noticed that other disabled people often have to go through the same stuff with interacting with people who are coming from a very different perspective.

And a non-autistic person not understanding that an autistic person flapping is showing excitement or nervousness and calling it “meaningless” is having “theory of mind” problems as well.

#long post#asd
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kk-maker
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realsocialskills

Meaningful echolalia

Some people communicate mostly in memorized phrases or allusions to stories and events.

It’s actually pretty normal to communicate in phrases and allusions. I think most people communicate that way at least some of the time. For instance, a lot of people make Shakespeare references in situations that have little or nothing to do with literature. A lot of prose and interpersonal communication happens that way.

This is interpreted very differently for some people than others. People without disabilities who mostly communicate in literal language are taken much more seriously when they make allusions and quotes.

When a nondisabled person says “The lady doth protest too much, methinks”, it’s assumed that they’re communicating and that what they say is meaningful. They are usually understood. This is the case even if there are no ladies present and they’re obviously not talking about a lady.

Similarly, when a nondisabled person says something like “A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!”, this is understood as meaning something even if they obviously do not have a kingdom and are known to hate horses.

When someone with a disability communicates in exactly the same way, their communication is often written off as meaningless. It’s often seen as sensory seeking, or stimming, or a persversation, and having no communicative content whatsoever. This kind of communication is often ignored, and also often seen as a problem behavior to be extinguished by a behavior plan.

This is in part because there’s a widespread belief that autistic people are all hyper-literal and only understand literal language. That’s true of *some* autistic people. But there are also autistic people who have the opposite problem. There are people who find it nearly impossible to use literal language to communicate, but who can readily make references and use literary phrases. (This is true for other kinds of cognitive disabilities as well; it’s not unique to autism.)

People who can only communicate in references deserve to have their communication taken seriously. So do people who find references much easier than literal languages. Everyone else is allowed to use references to communicate; people with disabilities have the right to do so as well.

Here’s an example of a situation in which communication is often misinterpreted. Imagine a girl named Sarah:

  • Sarah doesn’t say very many words reliably. She can usually say a few things like mom, food, want, home, and SpongeBob.
  • Sarah watches SpongeBob a lot
  • She wants you and other people in her life to watch it with her
  • She says a lot of phrases from SpongeBob
  • (Eg: “I’m ready!”, “One eternity later”, “SpongeBob, you and I both know you’re just using me as a distraction so you don’t have to write your essay”, “Why is it whenever I’m having fun it’s wrong?”, “I’m ugly and I’m proud!”)
  • Sometimes, the assumption is made that her repetitive phrases are preventing her from developing standard language
  • Or they might think that TV is preventing her from developing standard language and that her access to TV is limited
  • Or they might think that she’s perseverating on SpongeBob in a way that’s preventing learning
  • When maybe what’s going on is that SpongeBob is *teaching* her language and communicative concepts, and she’s trying to use them to communicate
  • If so, she should probably watch more TV, not less
  • And it’s really important for people in her life to listen to her
  • And understand the references she’s making and what they mean to her
  • (Watching the shows with her is probably an important part of that; showing her other shows might be too)
  • If you want someone to communicate, you have to listen to them, even when their communication is unusual

A lot of this post about listening to people whose speech is unusual applies in this situation too.

tl;dr Repeated phrases are often meaningful. Some people with disabilities communicate mostly in memorized phrases and references and allusions to stories and other things. Nondisabled people are taken seriously when they communicate this way. Disabled people who communicate in references should be taken just as seriously. (Even when they don’t communicate in literal language very often or at all).

#long post#communication#asd#autism#this is so important!!!#disability
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nicocoer
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infiniteglitterfall

you know what else I need autistic words for?

I need a word to describe this thing I have where like…

If I am doing a mindless task or a semi-mindless task, that I have no emotional engagement in, I literally cannot focus on it or do it unless I have something I DO care about to pay attention to. 

Like, my brain will refuse to pay attention to things that do not matter to it, and will wander off and mentally compose a three-page Tumblr post instead. Or worse, I will find myself having written a three-page Tumblr post when I was supposed to be working or paying attention in class. 

It’s like things become mental teflon, and repel my brain. 

So like, right now I have a temp job that consists just about entirely of mental teflon. Finding documents, printing them out in the right order, stamping them with the signature stamp, scanning them and making two copies, writing the addresses on envelopes, metering and sealing them and dropping them in the mail thingie. 

I can do this all day long, but I cannot focus on it whatsoever because there’s nothing to focus on. It’s just a series of repetitive tasks. When there’s some interesting challenge I can create for myself, like “now let’s see if I can do TEN of them in an hour!” I can get more engaged, but I have to have the energy/spoons to go that fast and I don’t. (And this is literally like 4500+ separate mailings, so if I do push myself I will burn out.) 

BUT if I put in my headphones and watch Netflix or whatever while I do it, I can go all day long. 

I keep thinking about how the allistic world would view this. Imagining how ridiculous they would think that sounded – “I HAVE to watch TV while I work, or else I can’t focus!” 

I imagine that they would be like “wow, what a load of bullshit excuses.” Because they have no concept for that. There’s no, like, “ah yes, you are engaging the blahblahblah part of your brain so that the other areas, that do repetitive work, can continue undistracted and undisturbed. Good job.” 

#hmm...#this is very Me i just always assumed it was just an attention thing#i always thought of it as my brain being like a small child at a grocery store#it means well but the only way we're gonna complete the objective is if i give it something shiny to distract it#like to this day it makes my grandpa infuriated that i can only really watch tv if im reading or on the comp or something#asd
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koryos
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brutereason
If we accept that autistic people are neurologically different rather than sick, the research goal changes from finding a cure to helping us achieve our best quality of life. Here are some ways we can do that: We can remediate the crippling conditions that accompany autism. Anxiety, depression, seizure disorders, sleep disorders, and intestinal distress are the big ones, but there are more. We can help autistic people organize their lives, manage their schedules, and regulate themselves in the face of sensory overload. Many of the things we ask for—like quiet spaces or calm lighting—are comforting to most anyone. But for us they are critical. We can offer engineering solutions to the things autistic people can’t do naturally. Some formerly nonverbal autistics talk through handheld tablets, and make friends with computer assistants like Siri. We’re now seeing machines that read expressions even when we can’t. Computers can improve anyone’s quality of life, but we stand to benefit more than most from applied technology. We can make life better for the autistic people who have major cognitive and functional challenges that today’s science can’t fix. We have a duty to make their lives better through applied technology. We owe it to our most disabled brothers and sisters to do all we can to ensure their security, safety, and comfort.

We’re Doing Autism Research All Wrong | MIT Technology Review (via brutereason)

omg are some NT researchers listening to autistic people??  about fucking time 

(via theseerasures)

Source: technologyreview.com
#autism#ableism#asd
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moniquill
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brutereason
If we accept that autistic people are neurologically different rather than sick, the research goal changes from finding a cure to helping us achieve our best quality of life. Here are some ways we can do that: We can remediate the crippling conditions that accompany autism. Anxiety, depression, seizure disorders, sleep disorders, and intestinal distress are the big ones, but there are more. We can help autistic people organize their lives, manage their schedules, and regulate themselves in the face of sensory overload. Many of the things we ask for—like quiet spaces or calm lighting—are comforting to most anyone. But for us they are critical. We can offer engineering solutions to the things autistic people can’t do naturally. Some formerly nonverbal autistics talk through handheld tablets, and make friends with computer assistants like Siri. We’re now seeing machines that read expressions even when we can’t. Computers can improve anyone’s quality of life, but we stand to benefit more than most from applied technology. We can make life better for the autistic people who have major cognitive and functional challenges that today’s science can’t fix. We have a duty to make their lives better through applied technology. We owe it to our most disabled brothers and sisters to do all we can to ensure their security, safety, and comfort.

We’re Doing Autism Research All Wrong | MIT Technology Review (via brutereason)

Source: technologyreview.com
#autism#asd#ableism
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butchxena
disabilityhistory-blog
When white children were misdiagnosed with autism they were usually told they had ADHD, but Mandell discovered that Black autistic children were told they had things like psychoses, mental retardation or selective mutism. This, along with the fear that Black parents have of reporting their child’s behavioral issues due to the fact that their children are removed from the home as a result more often, makes it hard for Black children with autism to get the treatment that they need.

Black Children and Autism: The Difference Is Black and White. Why are our Black children being diagnosed with autism later than white children?

Racial disparities in diagnosis are incredibly important. With that said, I disagree with the article at the link about why diagnosis is important. I believe diagnosis can help folx find community and others who are like them, learn more about how their brains/bodies work, and find/share ways of communicating and living that work for them. 

I do not believe in diagnosis for the purpose of abusive treatments or to “defeat” autism (or any other benign human variation, for that matter).

The link above also includes sensory triggers, including auto-playing videos with sound. Again: I link to it only because this information about racial disparities in diagnosis is very important. 

(via disabilityhistory)

For people who don’t understand why attacking people for self-dx is also racist.

(via notsothinlizzy)

#asd#racism
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nicocoer
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autisticpgh

We have a meeting scheduled!

ASAN Pittsburgh’s first meeting will take place on Saturday, November 8, 2014. 4PM-6PM.

The meeting will be held at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Pittsburgh at 210 Grant Street, Pittsburgh, PA.

There is a $2 per person fee for using the space, so if you can, please bring a few dollars to support the GLCC.

More information about the meeting will be posted in the next few days. I hope to see you there!

Any questions can be directed to [email protected].

#signal boost#asd#pitt
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itsc

“Autistic Inertia is basically a state of wanting or needing to do something, but being completely unable to do it, almost like a paralysis.”

I AM INTENSELY FEELINHG THIS SO FUCKING HARD THIS IS AN INTENSE FEEL THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH

nice to have a name for it.

#asd#huh...#this resonates but a lot of these things i chalked up to depression/anxiety#so def something to consider
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moniquill

heres an idea: instead of trying to “fix” autism try to fix the way allistic people react to austic people because saying you want to cure autism and trying to find a way to make sure autistic children arent born is just like saying that you want to cure gay people and thats :///////

They actually did that.

As in, there were studies.

They found that when they tried to improve the social skills of the autistic kids, nothing much happened.

When they improved the social skills of the nonautistic kids (by telling them how to properly interact with autistic people without freaking us out and overloading us), then the autistic kids’ social skills suddenly improved.

Why?  Because we were reacting to being treated with respect for the first time ever, by other kids.  Because other kids were making room for our sensory sensitivities and our social differences.  Because they were making an accessible environment for us, and in an accessible environment, suddenly we thrived socially.

And that says everything about where the social skills problems actually lie.

#asd#ableism#well what do you fucking know#teach people to treat others decently and shit improves all around???#NO WAY
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