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Citizens of Tomorrow, Be Forewarned

@payslipgig / payslipgig.tumblr.com

they/them/she in a pinch
Star Trek, Linguistics, Religious Studies, usual odds and ends. Post-college but hopeful pre-grad bc t1 diabetes came for my kneecaps and academia is my chosen form of torment
This feels like a job application claiming I’m a go-getter and lying
IM me @well-dressed-jaguar
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reblogged

Adult Pumpkin Pie Milkshake

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups vanilla ice cream
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup cream or half and half
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 2/3 cup pureed pumpkin
  • 1/2 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
  • 1/3 cup graham cracker crumbs
  • 2-3 ounces of bourbon
  • frosting + sprinkles (or cinnamon sugar) for glasses

Instructions:

  1. Add all ingredients to a blender and mix until combined.
  2. Rim glasses with a light coating of frosting then dip in sprinkles.
  3. Pour in shake and sprinkle cinnamon on top.
  4. Top with whipped cream if desired.
  5. Serve!
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reblogged
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roachpatrol

How to butcher a pumpkin and gain its mystical powers. 

  1. Neutralize your target. Lateral bisection is recommended. Rip out guts, scrape clean with spoon. Save seeds if you wish to foster your own pumpkin army later this spring.
  2. Vivisect with largest knife possible (in case of reprisals). Remove rind; cut into cubes. 
  3. Simmer the cubes for half an hour or more. Holy water is a plus. Ignore any screaming. Double-ignore any crying; it is scientific fact that pumpkins cannot feel remorse.
  4. Mash the weakened cubes with extreme prejudice and also a helpful kitchen utensile. I don’t know what this thing is called. 
  5. Scoop the mash into a cloth and wring it dry in one final bicep-rippling display of dominance. You should end up with a somewhat fibrous ball of pure golden-orange malice, suitable for all muffins, breads, cookies, and pies. Freeze for later if you can’t use all of it, or need a projectile weapon. 
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Fiery Pumpkin Seeds

Ingredients: 1 cup fresh pumpkin seeds 2 teaspoons Louisiana-style hot sauce 1 teaspoon chili powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper 1/4 teaspoon pepper

Directions In a small bowl, toss the pumpkin seeds with hot sauce. Combine the chili powder, salt, cumin, cayenne and pepper; sprinkle over seeds and toss to coat. Spread into a greased foil-lined 15-in. x 10-in. x 1-in. baking pan. Bake, uncovered, at 250° for 45-50 minutes or until seeds are lightly browned and dry, stirring occasionally. Cool completely. Store in an airtight container

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cravefoodie

Pumpkin Pie Milkshakes.

Ingredients & Measurements:

  • 2 cups Vanilla Ice Cream
  • 1/2 cup Milk
  • 1/4 cup Cream or Half & Half
  • 1 Tbsp Vanilla Extract
  • 2/3 Pureed Pumpkin
  • 1/2 Tbsp Pumpkin Pie Spice
  • 1/3 Cup Graham Cracker Crumbs
  • 2-3 oz. Bourbon
  • Frosting & Sprinkles

Instructions: Add all ingredients to a blender until mixed well. Rim glasses with a very light coating of frosting and dip in sprinkles. Pour the shake into the cup and sprinkle cinnamon on top. Top with whipped cream if you want & enjoy!

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