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Algae, brah.

@paruiguess / paruiguess.tumblr.com

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get the fuck out of my ass its 4/13 AND friday the 13th at the SAME DAMN TIME??!?!?!! 😳

bad luck? more like home stuck!!!!!

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Here’s a shirt I found at Goodwill.

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i have been looking at fanart and thinkpieces of people saying “omg what if in the next zelda instead of fighting ganon he’s link’s father figure that trains him and teaches him how to fight!!!” for my entire fucking life and i reserve the right to be annoyed by this every time i see it 

i’ve seen it happen in every video game, too. every video game that comes out has people that want to fuck the bad guys and they always try to dress it up cute like some kind of “oh what if they did this extremely creative thing! that’s my idea!” 

like, okay, no. first off. it’s not your idea. you’re not the one to come up with that. as long as bad guys have existed, they have been hot, and people wanted to fuck them, and people have tried to construct scenarios in which the hot villains are actually Good Guys so it’s okay if the protagonist (and you, by extension) fucks them. this is nothing new.

second, stop dressing it up all cute. you want to fuck ganon. you think the rathalos is hot. a third thing. just say that. it’s more honest. 

don’t say “umm what if there was a dating sim for the monster hunter monsters haha just kidding.” don’t say “ooh what if majima is actually a very good boy who would take you on walks and picnics!!!” don’t do that. stop it. you’re lying to yourself and you’re lying to me when your horrible gremlin words worm their way on to my computer screen. just admit you want sephiroth to fuck you. or yzma from emperor’s new groove. stop dressing it up cute and acting like you’re clever for doing so. 

you wanna fuck bowser. admit it. you don’t want a mario game where bowser is a responsible and well-dressed dad. you want bowser, horrible turtle monster that he is, to fuck you senseless as the evil spike covered reptile that he is. your “idea” of a mario game where bowser is nice is you trying to rationlize your mind wanting to fuck a bad guy. stop doing that. 

stop lying to yourself. 

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In my high school sewing class, we had a project where we could bring in personal photos to be printed on fabric and then used in a quilt. Lots of people did quilts with pictures of their family or their friends. A few people did really cute quilts with pictures of their pets!

Anyway here’s my Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass quilt:

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paruiguess

what the fuck is the theme of this thing? she’s at some sort of train entrance kiosk? she’s also an employee at the train kiosk...and she has a present for YOU!!! it’s one of the aliens from space invader! is it meant to be a big toy of the alien from space invader or like a literal living pixel alien that she’s keeping in this crystal egg? we’re not sure because it’s all made of plastic anyway!

Source: twitter.com
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