in-progress (and incoherent) naruto thoughts: waterfall of tears no jutsu edition

kakashi spending an entire day and expending a ridiculous amount of effort and chakra just so his kids can HAVE FUN.  him secretly playing with his kiddos and all their little twelve year-old friends just so they can enjoy themselves, with them none the wiser that he’s doing any of it - him spending the day entertaining children and letting kids be kids Just Because.  just because he wants to.  just because it makes him happy to make them happy.

obito ripping multiple universes open searching for the last surviving member of the family he destroyed, the last surviving member of his own family.

sakura and sasuke seeing each other through that portal.  sakura calling for him, him running to her, the portal shrinking, him catching her before she falls down.

sasuke looking up to see kakashi leaping in front of him to take a projectile meant for him, to die shielding him, just like kakashi promised him he would, all those years ago [i’ll protect you with my life]

i was so stubborn.  and so often…ill at ease.  but you always came to my rescue.

obito sparing kakashi while sacrificing himself.  you stay here a little while longer.  it’s too soon for you to die.  don’t be so quick to follow us.

who do you want to save this time?  kakashi.

I REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS

I was torn whether I should make my own post with my reactions to these episodes so I wouldn’t accidentally push my feelings onto you where maybe our takes or our interest in focusing on specific moments differs, but judging from this post that danger is minimal (😆) and this feels like the most appropriate place to spill all my emotions, so HERE WE GO.

I, too, love to pieces how much effort Kakashi intentionally puts into providing his little genin with fun, silly activities during their rare downtime–something he never had the opportunity for when he was their age. And when he possibly did at a much younger age, like that game of kick the can, he appeared much too focused on accomplishing the “goal” of ‘saving his friends’ to really be freely enjoying himself and having fun (as touching as his serious declarations were to hear). And to add onto what you were saying in your other response:

It’s as you say; he would never ask anything of his students and he does all of it without any expectation to get anything back out of it himself, but it’s true that we never see him as happy as he is when goofing off with his kids. Seeing their smiles, hearing their laughter, and observing the development of their teamwork and bonds, it brings him so much joy! It’s not why he’s doing it, and I admire and relate to him all the more for that, but it makes me indescribably happy and gets me all choked up to see how good this is for him too. ;‿;

And like, his eye-smiles already filled my heart to bursting with love, but how am I supposed to cope now knowing this is the full picture of those?

HE SHOULD ALWAYS BE SO HAPPY.

(Add those gifs to the 'it’s like looking at the sun’ category.)

I loved how Hinata said “Plan A…has…failed.” Bless your heart, my girl. That was the most darling thing ever. <3

And Gai, who’s notorious for being unable to remember people’s faces he’s met, coming so close to recognizing Kakashi! And Kakashi’s nervousness when it looked like he was about to be discovered! I don’t like seeing him uncomfortable, but it was still pretty cute. :) (Curious that he’s fine with his face being seen as long as it’s not connected to being known as his face.)

Now that you’ve met Sukea, you should check out this fanart and Feel Things. ;)

I’m glad that–among other things–they’ve consistently kept Naruto’s unpredictability as one of his greatest strengths. :D

They let Sakura be instrumental in saving the world!!! I mean, this doesn’t erase all the other times they’ve dropped the ball with her certainly, but letting her rescue Sasuke with Obito was a wonderful moment for them and of course was essential in them being able to seal Kaguya later. And Sakura reminds both Kakashi and Obito of Rin. :) :) :) And they could’ve done a better job of integrating Sakura into the final clash with Kaguya, but it still counts as a team victory and I will take it.

I just about died laughing when the first thing Naruto said to Sasuke upon their return was, “Sasuke, have you properly thanked Sakura and Obito?!” Sasuke is pretty much the ONLY person Naruto could possibly chide over their lack of manners and yet be right on the money about it, and he’s not about to pass up the opportunity. 🤣🤣🤣 BUT YEAH, SASUKE, DIDJA?

And now you know why I possess NOT A SINGLE IOTA of composure when it comes to Rin holding Kakashi’s and Obito’s hands. Holding hands as a concept is ruined for me now. It is a Team Minato thing forevermore, and I will never be okay again.

“Why save someone useless like me?!” KAKASHI I GET IT I DO THINGS ARE A LOT RIGHT NOW AND YOU’RE IN A LOT OF PAIN AND FEEL HELPLESS BUT YOU ARE TESTING ME.

Okay, so not to take away from Obito’s earlier words encouraging Kakashi not to rush after him in death and that he wants Kakashi to live - that’s really important and something Kakashi desperately needed to hear! But, well, um… wouldn’t it have been better to actually say out loud what you thought about “As someone who will support the next generation, it’s too soon for you to die” instead of just urging Kakashi to focus on the enemy?? I know, we all want Kakashi to want to live for himself as well as for how he can help others! it’s just, can we not let him get away with calling himself useless when you’re literally thinking about how much Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto need him going forward??? Just a thought, buddy?

He’s crumbling to ash from the inside out, Emily, cut him some slack! He’s gonna make up for it in five minutes! It’s gonna be okay!

IS IT THOUGH?

Hahahahaha remember how I mentioned I was losing my mind at the mere notion of Kakashi and Obito not be together when Obito died? Well, that was nothing compared to the deepest throes of agony I was in when Obito was cracking apart and he only talked to Naruto with Kakashi standing right there. Obviously they fixed this in the next episode, and it’s not that I didn’t want that moment between Naruto and Obito; it was thematically poignant! And I like the parallels between Obito and Naruto! But there was absolutely no way I could appreciate that sequence with Kakashi hurting so keenly that his legs couldn’t even hold his weight AND THEY DIDN’T SAY A WORD TO EACH OTHER! My brother was genuinely worried about me, I was in such a state. 😅 I’ve never yelled so much at a TV in my life!

Heh, they definitely were effective in making black zetsu utterly detestable, huh? I have to say you’re much more vermin-esque, my guy.

“Because the sixth hokage should be you, Kakashi.” Obito speaking for us all!!!!! 🥺🥰

It makes sense that Kaguya would be most mindful and leery of Sasuke and Naruto since they had the seals and so they were the priority for neutralizing; but how awesome is it that in doing so, she left herself open for Kakashi and Sakura to contain and hinder her enough that the boys had time to grab her! :D:D:D:D:D

Probably you’re already of aware of this, but apparently “I really love you guys” lines up a bit smoother in the original because instead of Kakashi telling the kids his first impression of them is “You’re a bunch of idiots”, in the Japanese he says his impression is “Well, I hate you.” Either way though, it really can’t be overstated how moving that sentiment is coming from Kakashi, can it? It knocked the wind right out of me in the best way. And the way they paired this emotional cathartic expression from Kakashi with the fighting plot resolution…! If I think about that line too much it always feels like my brain is going to melt.

Also, I must admit that “I really love you guys” was echoing over and over in my head the other day when we were talking about Kakashi finally “allowing” himself to love his people and this new something-akin-to-peace-of-mind he has when he’s interacting with Sasuke. 😁 This is such a breakthrough for him!

YOU AND ME BOTH.

PAN. Pan Pan Pan! Imagine this new level of tenderness, verbally (internally) acknowledging the affection he feels, and open showing of love and fondness Kakashi’s unlocked - except, still, when he’s speaking of himself - directed at Yamato!!! IT’S WHAT YAMATO DESERVES. WE NEED TO SEE IT.

(The teasing that’s present in Kakashi’s and Tenzo’s dynamic is GREAT don’t get me wrong; that should stay. BUT JUST IMAGINE KAKASHI AT THE VERY LEAST REALIZING ALL OVER AGAIN HOW MUCH YAMATO MEANS TO HIM. NOT THAT HE HADN’T REALIZED BEFORE, BUT WITH THIS NEW MINDSET HE HAS, HOW, I DON’T KNOW, PALPABLE IT IS? HOW MORE OPEN HE KINDA IS TO IT? Am I getting too far ahead of myself here, Pan? Feel free to rein me in if I’m being too sentimental. The internal angst is still coming for both of them, I’m well aware! And I don’t mean Kakashi is suddenly going to do a 180 from the reserved, self-contained person he’s always been when interacting with others. But the next time they hopefully see each other…)

THIS.  Teaching them changed his life - saved it, maybe.  And this is such a masterfully executed arc throughout - from way back when Minato puts Kakashi in charge of Kushina and the baby, because maybe looking after “new life” will help him feel better - it doesn’t work out back then, obviously, but Minato’s idea wasn’t wrong!  He was on the right track!  And Kakashi is so - well, I suppose it’s unusual for anyone to call him “lucky,” but I think he’d agree with me in this case - he’s so lucky, or...blessed, in that even after Minato dies, he has other people who are looking out for him and being concerned enough about him to eventually go to the authorities and tell them, "Take Kakashi out of the ANBU.  He doesn’t belong there.  Give him children to teach.”   And like - now I’m thinking about how Gai and Asuma and Kurenai start to doubt whether they should’ve even gotten involved, after two years go by without any clear results (“I don’t know.  Maybe we three never should have interfered in the first place.  We all thought that if he were away from the ANBU and instead were in charge of young would-be shinobi, things would hold more promise for him, but...”)  And they WERE right, and it did work exactly the way they hoped it would; it just took much longer than they expected, because healing from the kind of life Kakashi’s had is going to be a painstakingly slow process.

I get very emotional about the fact that Kakashi’s time with Team 7 is partially the result of his classmates’ intervention, because what we’re really seeing here is a subtle illustration of the show’s thematic focus on building a new, better world/rectifying the mistakes of the past (even though I don’t think the characters involved consciously realize it).  Multiple people at multiple points in Kakashi’s life step in to try and help him before he self-destructs, and maybe it doesn’t always work out the way they expect it to, and maybe they don’t see results right away, and maybe they think their small gestures were worthless, but that’s not the case.  Look at where Kakashi is now, at how far he’s come.  Their simple efforts made a HUGE difference, years later, and the reason this hits so powerfully is because interventions like that did not happen for Kakashi’s father.  Nobody from the older generation stepped in when Sakumo was the one sinking.  They turned their backs on him.  They’re the ones who pushed him overboard in the first place.  But when Kakashi looks like he might be getting swept away by that same current, people from his own generation step in to throw him a line, even if it means “overstepping” the bounds of their authority.  They go to the hokage and say “are you going to just let this happen” (which is the right question to ask, because that’s exactly what he did, last time). 

Maybe it’s not my place to say this, but...it MUST be said.  We’ve lost too many friends already.  The fact that we see this group of childhood war veterans, who lost so many friends growing up, banding together to be like “NOT ONE MORE” - in a complete departure from the behavior their forebears, who, instead of chasing a comrade in order to save him from an early death, chased him right into the grave - that’s HUGELY powerful.  Kakashi has people who fight for his survival even when he can’t see the value in his own life, which is a gift his father wasn’t lucky enough to receive.  The village wanted Kakashi’s father to drown in his shame, and that’s exactly what ended up happening.  But Kakashi survives, and while obviously we have to credit a lot of that to the strength of his spirit, he also had help, which is such a perfect illustration of everything he’s always taught his students - that we don’t ever accomplish things on our own; we work together as a team; we “care for and support our fellows” above all else; we never abandon a friend.  Kakashi owes his transformative time with Team 7 at least partially to the intervention of people who advocated for him when he couldn’t advocate for himself, who stepped in before he could let himself die, and, considering whose child he is, this is one of those things that is SO thematically appropriate and meaningful that it just puts me on the floor.  

Ahaha yes!!!  My sister and I laughed so hard every time she was onscreen, like, we could not beLIEVE when she ran up to Kakashi gasping “I THINK - A WOMAN - DROWNED OVER THERE”; it was SO funny, because it’s so unlike Hinata to be getting involved in this level of tomfoolery.  And outright lying to a teacher???!  Like, you just know she did it because Naruto begged her, and the whole thing was so adorable.

Yes, we were laughing during this part, too. XD “Curious that he’s fine with his face being seen as long as it’s not connected to being known as his face” - oof, yes, so many Thoughts about this whole thing...the face, the mask, the headband...it was so interesting watching this episode, because honestly, in the moments where we saw his face, I felt almost - intrusive!  Like - I had the urge to look away.  And I felt more comfortable once it was back on.  Even though it is lovely to see his smile in full...I felt like I was spying on him!  I might have felt differently if we were seeing him willingly take the mask off in front of someone else, but as it was, we were just kind of peeping in through the tv while he thought he was by himself - I felt like I was invading his privacy.

(Like, I remember, in the episode where Kakashi almost becomes the hokage, how taken aback he is when the sculptor is like “take your mask off so we can make a mold of your face,” and you can just see Kakashi suddenly remembering that taking office means the village is going to stick a giant carving of him up on the cliff for everyone to stare at - for someone who doesn’t want that kind of attention to begin with, and who certainly does not want his naked face on display 24/7, I just think that would be a special kind of personal hell XD  I hope they let him leave the mask on whenever his face eventually does have to go up there.)

I’ll take it, too, absolutely.  

That whole sequence of Sakura and Obito searching for Sasuke is one of my favorites of all time.  I loved how they put Sakura and Obito back together for another brief arc, after their first scene in the kamui timespace when he asks her to destroy his eye, and she hesitates, even though he’s her enemy.  I loved the way Sasuke is completely lost, completely alone - and then, in the vast emptiness of the desert, he hears Sakura calling his name.  I loved the way he booked it in her direction, so fast, so reflexive.  I loved the fact that he’s seeing all his people still following him into the abyss, still doing the impossible to rescue him, no matter how many times he rejects them or runs away.  I loved how the show lets Obito save each of the kids once - Naruto from the tailed beast separation, Sakura from Madara, and Sasuke from Kaguya - because even though Obito says his “gift” to Kakashi is the sharingan, the most important gift Obito could ever give Kakashi is the lives of his children.

OMG I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THIS.  MY SISTER AND I WERE HOWLING LAUGHING.  This was the most in-character exchange of all time; it was just - aMAZING.  Cheering for Naruto at this moment; you tell him, kid!

(Honestly, I got the same vibe later, when Kakashi produces the Susano’o (ON HIS FIRST TRY AND WITHOUT EVER LEARNING HOW) and Sasuke’s like “that’s impossible” and Naruto says something like “no it’s not!  It’s Kakashi Sensei; they don’t call him the Copy Ninja for nothing!”  And also - “It’s even more awesome than yours, Sasuke” lmaooo like I just adore Naruto admiring his other teammates and scolding Sasuke to appreciate them better XD XD XD

Also, what about when Naruto launched himself at Kaguya saying “As someone who once wanted to be hokage...Obito is.....NOTHING BUT AWESOME TO ME!!!!!!!”  That surprised a huge, affectionate laugh out of us too, not in the sense that it was funny, per se, but because it was so....Naruto.  He forgives so fast, and then goes so hard for the people he considers to be his friends, even people who were his enemies not five minutes ago <33333333

He’s testing us all lmao.  Kakashi.  Sir.  Go at your own pace, but also please know that you’re killing us.

Ohhh this.  Yeah, definitely.  It didn’t upset me in the moment, luckily (mostly because things were moving so fast that by the time it occurred to me to get worked up about it, Obito was coming right back for Kakashi in the chakra world), but it definitely was something that crossed my mind and made me experience a little wince, and if the next episode hadn’t gone the way it did, I definitely would have been suffering the same way as you.  I’m not sure why I wasn’t more bothered with it in the immediate moment - it seems like the kind of thing that is guaranteed to make me lose my mind - but either I had some kind of subconscious suspicion that we weren’t quite done, or I was just still reeling from the emotional impact of ‘don’t you rush to follow us.’  And I guess...there’s also something...oddly in-character about Kakashi allowing, or even...expecting this very personal moment to end up being about someone who isn’t him, even though this is his friend and his crucible and the conclusion of almost twenty long years of his life.  The grief is his.  But he is so devoid of ego or expectations...he doesn’t make things about him, even when they ARE about him.  Even when the pain of it all literally sends him to his knees.

(^^^ do NOT talk to me about that detail.  when i saw kakashi drop to his knees like that...that was.  too much.  that was a fantastic, brilliant choice in terms of characterization, but wow.  This is the only time I can think of that Kakashi has reacted to something by being so utterly overcome like that, in a situation where a) they’re in the middle of a crisis that needs management, and b) he’s in front of the kids.  Never in his life have we ever seen him so exposed.)

I was 99.9999999% certain this was where the narrative was leading us, but BOY was it satisfying to hear it explicitly stated. :D :D :D

YEAH!!!!!  Like - remember when we were having this conversation >>

#i don't know how to explain all the thoughts i'm having about the decision-state that i think kakashi has entered  #i feel like he's broken through some kind of wall  #of shame or guilt or *something*  #some kind of release of responsibility  #and he's just like  #hit this almost zen place of 'i know who i am and i know what i believe and i've made my decision and if it kills me it kills me'  #'so be it'#he's committed to a path now and it might end up with him dead but it still feels more Right than the one he was on before  #and it's not just with sasuke either; it's about the way he's taking care of obito -  #i don't know how to explain it.  it's just a feeling  #i dunno.  i'll have to finish the show to really flesh out whether this is anything more than a fleeting impression that will change later

How wild is it that we were talking about this vague “vibe” or “feeling” of release/freedom we were picking up from Kakashi before I’d even gotten to this episode?????  They managed to subtly communicate the change that had come over him without saying a thing about it, and now I know that I wasn’t imagining things or interpreting his behavior in a weird way, I was just picking up on the subtle signs he was showing before we finally got to his big cathartic moment. <33333333

as if i need to be prompted.  as if i do not think about this every blessed day of my Life

YOU ARE NOT.

I have been thinking about them a Lot in this arc.  A lot, a lot, a lot.  Even though Yamato’s not remotely involved in what’s going on right now, and even though literally nobody on Team 7 knows he’s even with them on the battlefield...I mean, they have NO IDEA he’s even here.  As far as they know, he’s either dead - executed after giving up whatever intel the enemy must have extracted from him - or still being held captive somewhere, as a prisoner or one of Kabuto’s experiments.  But even though he’s not right in the thick of things, and even though his own teammates don’t know that he’s nearby, somehow my mind keeps drifting to him.  Partially because I am just still so WORRIED about him, and partially because I keep thinking about After.  And I know I shouldn’t be thinking about After, because I have absolutely zero proof that any or all of them even survive to that point!  (Though I think it would be beyond ill-conceived for any of them not to, but that’s how I felt [still feel] about Neji, too, so.)  

But I can’t help it.  I want to see the After.  Or, I mean, I don’t actually expect to “see” much of it; the show’s too close to being over; I just want the story to end with the characters in a position where I can think about it or wonder about it on my own and have my thoughts be the slightest bit plausible.  I’m happy to do the imagination work myself - I think about these two all the time anyway.  And I know we were already kinda having a conversation about them a while back, so I won’t get into it all again, but there is So Much they need to sort through, and, especially now that we’ve seen Kakashi arrive at this new internal place, like you said, I just REALLY want to have the space to explore that, and to let THEM explore that, because they’ve never been able to live in the world and feel like they deserved it or were even capable of enjoying anything it had to offer, and I am compelled to the point of distraction by the question of what happens when you give people like them the chance to actually be in the moment and have time, to exist and see a future for themselves and feel things and have experiences beyond “fight” or “die” - because I’m not sure they’ll know what to do with themselves at first, and I want to see them figure it out.  (In my head, I mean.  The show isn’t going to take us that far, and I don’t expect it to, or believe that it should.  I just want it to end in a place where the things I might imagine are possible.)

DITTO TIMES 100000000; talking to you about this show has been and will continue to be one of my favorite things to do, and the depth of our conversations has taken my viewing experience to a completely new level.  I’m eternally grateful! <333