@pameluke / pameluke.tumblr.com
I love it, you guys. Thank you so much. But, remember, the official birthday party is Saturday night, okay? Yeah, and we've got enough catering to ride out the apocalypse, so y'all better come. Don't worry. We're comin'.
requested by @heartstringsduet
I was rewatching the proposal scene and now in hindsight I wonder. For a second there, did Carlos think TK had a husband he didn't know about?
He was still half asleep, I don't think he was quite computing at first.
Can you imagine the carnage if he'd blurted out "wait, you're married too?" instead of just blinking in confusion?
athena + hen: the elite wine club 🍷 -> 9-1-1: 2x07, 4x03, 5x09, 6x08, & 8x07
911: Lone Star | Tommy Vega S2E10 -> S5E7
Abstract The frozen mummy of the large felid cub was found in the Upper Pleistocene permafrost on the Badyarikha River (Indigirka River basin) in the northeast of Yakutia, Russia. The study of the specimen appearance showed its significant differences from a modern lion cub of similar age (three weeks) in the unusual shape of the muzzle with a large mouth opening and small ears, the very massive neck region, the elongated forelimbs, and the dark coat color. Tomographic analysis of the mummy skull revealed the features characteristic of Machairodontinae and of the genus Homotherium. For the first time in the history of paleontology, the appearance of an extinct mammal that has no analogues in the modern fauna has been studied. For more read here: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-79546-1
I always knew it was possible, but I never dared to hope.
Babe Heffron & Bill Guarnere Band of Brothers (2001)
Everyone’s always telling Buck what he should do. Okay, sometimes he did ask for their advice, but every piece of advice he’s followed through on lately has ended badly and everything they tell him to do he doesn’t actually want to do.
He should want to do something if it’s supposed to make him feel better, if it’s supposed to be better for him, right?
Josh told him to bulldoze ahead and tell Tommy what he wanted. Tommy told him to re-enact his Buck 1.0 days and spend time with some indeterminate amount of people until he finds someone forever. Maddie and Chim told him to start dating again and also wait for the universe to bring him someone special; another someone. Hen and Eddie told him not to contact Tommy.
He doesn’t want to do any of that! He wants to talk to Tommy, to see him, to get Tommy to talk to him instead of giving up on them and running away because he’s scared. He wants to tell Tommy he loves him. He wants Tommy to know first and last aren’t mutually exclusive. He wants to yell at Tommy, and kiss him, and hold him. He wants Tommy to apologise for breaking his heart and for being a dumbass. He wants Tommy to believe him when he says he won’t do the same. He wants to apologise for jumping ahead but also not have to apologise for wanting a life with Tommy or for being too much.
Since that first night Tommy kissed him, he’s felt reborn. Not in some starry-eyed way that Tommy seems to think is fake and won’t last, but in the way that he’s shed the skin of past Buck upgrades and finally grown into his body, become comfortable in who he is instead of trying to fit a facade that other people would accept. Always too big, too much, not enough, never content to just sit in his self and be without his worries and insecurities moulding him into something else, something with a better chance of getting people to like him, love, to stay with him.
He’s never felt more himself or more at ease in a relationship that meant something to him than he did with Tommy. Never felt more wholly seen - the good, the bad, and the too-much and not enough - by his partner and adored anyway, wanted anyway.
Halfway through making swiss meringue buttercream instead of breakfast, he realises he’s thinking about Tommy. His coping skill, as Bobby called it, has stopped working.
There’s butter and sugar in the creases of his hands and nailbeds even after he hurriedly wipes them with the dishcloth over his shoulder. He can see it as he scoops up his phone from the charger and thumbs over to his message thread with Tommy, leaving greasy crumby residue on the screen.
i saw you bubbling
After it happened, after the Chief distracted everyone enough for him to grab his phone and retreat somewhere he wouldn’t be disturbed, he’d stared at the space where the unsent message had appeared for twenty minutes waiting for the type bubble to reappear. Waiting for Tommy to hit send on whatever he’d backtyped.
Buck’s mind had spiralled with all the possibilities and while it spiralled and he stared and waited he never got around to actually calling or texting Tommy himself. And then the bell rang.
He has time, now. He has things he wants to say.
you were going to tell me something an maybe i wont like what it was but just knowing you almost reached out is kinda driving me crazy bc i have a fridge full of baked goods bc everytime i think about calling you i bake and now i havnt cooked a proper meal in my own place in over a week bc i dont have room in my damn fridge to store anything besides chocholate chip bananan bread and baked alaskas
He wants to say: and it’s all your fault! but that’s not the whole truth. Buck played his part in this, set the wheels in motion that drove Tommy away from him. But how the hell was he supposed to know that? And Tommy should’ve known by now he doesn’t really do ‘slow’.
i’m not sorry for being too much bc i shouldnt haveto apologize for being myself
Screw it. Can’t get any worse, right? Tommy’s getting all of him whether he likes it or not.
i dont see you as some queer life coach or someone to fill space until someon else comes along
thats not who i am
i thought you knew me better than that but whatevr ig
i wanted to live with you bc i want a life with you bc i love you
i love you
i shouldve said that first
Send after send, typing like a man possessed, he gets out everything that’s been pent up inside him since the shock wore off a week ago.
His chest is heaving as the adrenaline rushes through his veins. And his eyes sting. He has to blink away tears as he reads over the last message.
He never told Tommy. Tommy doesn’t know. Maybe Buck wasn’t sure that night Josh asked him, but he knows it now.
i wanted you to be my last
He still does.
i wanna hate you for giving up on us
but i cant seem to hate you
This whole thing would hurt a lot less if he could just hate Tommy for what he did. It would hurt a lot less if they could find a way through this mess, together, and come out the other side stronger because they know each other better and know they want to fight for what they have.
Real love is worth fighting for. Red taught him that. Real love isn’t found, it’s made. Old gay Thomas taught him that.
Well, Buck found Tommy. Or, the universe did. And he’s going to fight, dammit, because he wants to build a future with Tommy.
His vision has blurred with hot tears. Movement on his screen catches his attention from where his gaze had drifted over to the couch where Tommy had stayed to take care of him through his Billy Boils saga.
Tommy is bubbling him.
Buck’s heart lurches in his chest. His breath catches.
can we talk?
There’s a huff of something like manic laughter as he swipes at his snotty nose.
that’s what i typed
Hope blooms in his chest, sudden and bright and painful in the best way.
can we?
I think I owe it to you to yell at me in person
There’s a long moment where Buck tries to return his breathing to normal but its bated as he watches three little dots appear, then disappear.
Then reappear.
Then disappear.
Then:
I don’t want to give up on us either
Buck’s tears are still making his vision watery, but now they’re tears of joy. He did what he wanted to do - he reached out. And Tommy heard him.
He should take his own advice more often.
stress baker buck my beloafed 🍞
top shelf buzz. 9-1-1. gen: buck, eddie, josh, karen, hen, & original characters.
“I think it would be good for me,” Buck says, with a shine of mania in his eyes that apparently can’t be resisted, so Friday night finds him under the pink glow of club lights, music making the bones vibrate in his legs from the ankle up. Enthusiasm died somewhere after his initial burst of insistence so he’s unshaven in an overworn brown hoodie with no product in his hair, expression gleaming with either optimism or despair. “I can’t believe I agreed to this,” Josh says. “Did you just invite every gay person in your phone?” “No,” Buck says defensively, which is when Hen and Karen start waving at them furiously from the crush of people by the entrance. “Eddie’s here, too.” One sip into his beer, Eddie had abandoned Buck for the dance floor, where he’s currently having the time of his life, spinning in a circle with his arms above his head and eyes closed.
I feel this on a spiritual level
Schitt’s Creek 5.06 | Rock On
the way he's breaking his own heart saying this 😭😭
TK Strand & Owen Strand & Carlos Reyes 9-1-1 : LONE STAR I 5x07 ‘Kiddos’
jamie “i once didn’t bring a gift to a whole ass secret santa exchange” tartt + the incredible amount of thought, detail and care that went into his gift for roy
TK Strand & Owen Strand 9-1-1 : LONE STAR I 5x07 ‘Kiddos'
