imagine ody acting like a dad to the younger crewmates

LOOK AT THAT PERFECT ✨️DAD SIT✨️

It's very funny to me that the stereotypical gelatinous cube is bright fucking green when the monster itself is almost perfectly transparent. Like its gimmick is that it's a monster that imitates an empty 10x10 hallway. How many people have fallen victim to gelatinous cubes because they "know" that the ooze is bright green and so don't bother to check the suspiciously clean corridor in front of them.

The cube is green because oh my god do you know how hard it is to draw a perfectly transparent cube? Especially in isolation, like in the monster manual? Even if you put debris in, it reads as "floating skull ft. helium sword." Awful. Absolutely wretched.

I'm picturing it appearing in in-universe bestiaries with a little caption like *specimen dyed for visibility.

Dungeon naturalists sneaking up on a cube with a bucket of green dye so they can see it well enough to study it.

Classifying your Slimes and Oozes by Gram staining them

String identified: t' t tat t ttca gat c gt cg g t t t at ct taat. t gc tat t' a t tat tat a t aa. a a a ct t gat c ca t "" tat t gt g a 't t t cc t c ca c t t. T c g ca g a t t a a ct taat c? ca at, t t aa? t , t a a "atg t. ." A. At tc. ' ctg t aag - ta t a tt cat *c t. g atat ag a c t a ct g t ca t g t t t. Cag a Ga tag t

Closest match: Drosophila busckii chromosome X sequence Common name: Fruit Fly

(image source)

go white boy goooo

no white boy not like that

white boy i've never seen anyone fuck it up like that

It’s wild to me to see transvestigator conspiracy theories online that could be so easily explained by natural human variation. That woman has a deep voice? Yeah, sometimes they do. A woman has broad shoulders?? Maybe she plays rugby or hits the gym a fuckton. There’s a “bulge” in her tight pants?? Maybe her vulva is just fat. All the “markers” of trans woman that transvestigators use to harass any woman aren’t even things unique to trans women.

Transphobes talk about women like they’re Barbies. Have you forgotten the existence of cameltoe? Tiny boobs? Narrow hips? Broad shoulders? Why do you think choirs have altos and not just sopranos? What do you think female athletes look like? Do you think a woman that lifts weights and plays contact sports will look like a 90s supermodel? At what point in history did we collectively forget that human bodies have natural variability???

official anti terf post

I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery

People can't just say "I don't like this music" anymore they gotta call you gay and autistic for listening to a band that had one song go viral

just gonna drop this here

This I also believe.

how did they know

john raul porge and gringo

you know that furry spectrum meme. there's an evil version of it.

i call this the taur scale.

there is an exact range of horse (or other animal) within which a creature is at its most uncanny and it is somewhere between 75-100%. outside of that range it is fine. within that range it is considered "nightmare fuel". i am unsure what the optimum point within that range is.

90 percent is like. A sphinx if it was a horse instead of a winged lion

had a bad low blood pressure moment last night and messily asked my partner for saltines and water before realizing i should probably ask for the Blood Pressure Medication I Need To Take. while they went to go grab it though i still had water and crackers so in a daze i took a swig of water but didnt swallow and then tried to cram 2 saltines in my mouth. full of water. in bed. with mouth full of water

Oh My God Damn

kid: hey daddy can you read me a bed time story?

dad picking up "doggy goes to school": how about this one?

kid: sorry cant really read that one yet cause first we need to read "doggy rides a bike" and then "doggy vs cat: last hope"

dad: im sorry i dont think ive heard of that one

kid: yea it was during the dark era of doggy books but since then cat has become more of anti hero and helps doggy sometimes

dad: oh didnt even know that

kid: thats pretty fucking embarrasing father. i recommend you read "Kitty: origins" and "Doggy: year 1" to catch yourself up with the canon and then we can really get started on the bedtime stories tomorrow night

I love grindr images like this, they're so awesome sauced

reblog ONLY if prev is a mutual, i want to see how far this post can go

say in the tags what part of tumblr you’re on i’m so curious so see how this goes

you think people actually have sex? naked and everything? I have to laugh.

pregnancy happens when two clear-headed adults sign a contract and shake hands, much like a business merger

You get an Asian Swamp Eel

nods. thank you for this gift.