Wow spending every day in bed plus alcohol

Plus anti psychotics means I’ve gone from a size 8 to 18 I have hardcore been hating my body and it’s bring back all my dysmorphia feels from high school, I have purged lately something I haven’t done in a decade and I’m so insecure in public idk what to do because it’s definitely meds and I can’t stop them they are keeping my head not fuzzy but also I can’t even get myself to shower so I can’t exercise rn . Sigh I hate being sick

I went to buy clothes to feel better from the weight I put on caus of my anti psychotics

And I bought everything too small thinking I went up a side but nah I'm up another size since I last checked two weeks ago. I'm really frustrated and sad and I have such bad body dysmorphia now added to the shit I'm dealing with my personality disorder. Fuck I hate returns bing things but I spent too much money on these to just keep the wrong size. I guess I have to either return this and keep just wearing stretchy leggings and bagging shit shirts. All I wanted do was be cute for spring .