• you tried throwing yourself in front of my car for the vine but i was coming to a stop so it looked really pathetic
• you were being chased by my dog and ran through my backyard and tried coming into my house but you slammed into the sliding screen door and im just trying to eat cereal what the fuck
• i just saw you take the last good watermelon from my shopping cart what the fuck??? come back what the fuck hiding it under your shirt won’T STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME
• i tried running you off the road but you brake checked me and luckily we werent going that fast but when u stopped my car very gently touched ur bumper and im gonna insist there’s damage to  my headlight bc ur cute and i want ur number
• we met as 10 year olds on  a video game and were friends for a few years before we lost contact but u moved to my city during high school and we recognized eachother holy shit you’re really hot now
• youre a complete stranger and i started yelling at u cuz ur music was too damn loud at 1 am and we carried on an aggressive conversation for a long time before i realized u were literally just regurgitating the front bottom’s song lyrics to me fuck you
• someone i follow on tumblr posts a lot of stuff about their crush and i started to slowly realize it sounds like a person i’ve been encountering lately and i went thru ur tagged/me and holy shit we go to the same school
• i thought i was shoving lil cute secret notes into my crushes locker but it was actually your locker oops. well ur  cuter so like
• i saw u at the store and we barely know each other but u smiled and i got so distracted that i ran into a can display and they all fell on me and now i’m in the hospital and u brought me ~FLOWERS~
• i was at starbucks sitting by the window minding my business when u started tapping on the glass and trying to communicate something through it to me but like ?? i cant read lips and it basically turns into a huge game of charades bc ur stupid ass is bad as communication and my stupid ass is bad at understanding communication
• you were free running on low buildings and fell off of one and i mso sorry that your leg is probably broken but i cannot for the life of me stop laughing hahahahhHhahahahhAHHAGHHHHH

Torcon

• ‘you’re lying on the floor of the movie theater crying and i’m the employee who has to tell you another movie starts in five minutes so you have to leave and i’m really sorry but im also confused as to why a documentary on lightbugs affected you so much’ au
• ‘i found you sleeping on my balcony when i went out to water my plants why are you here and more importantly how did you get here we’re eighteen floors up’ au
• ‘i’m having a minor breakdown in the middle of bed bath and beyond and you’re a bewildered shopper who wants to buy plates but also to make sure i’m okay bc im wailing a little bit in the kitchenware section’ au
• ‘i asked a staff member and they said you’ve been coming to the pound every day to play with the dog i’m taking home today and that’s why you’re getting weirdly emotional’ au
• 'why are you dancing in your underwear to kelly clarkson in a public bathroom while brushing your teeth’ au

Best of | Marvel part 2