Opportunity

You know how the media is full of people complaining that they’ve lost their sense of time, don’t know what to do with themselves, can’t concentrate or “be productive?” 

They’re learning what it feels like to have ADHD and/or executive dysfunction!

We need to capitalize on this. We need to refer to it when explaining ourselves to people.

“Yeah, so remember how you lost your sense of time while quarantined? That’s what it’s like for us all the time.” And so on.

5/4/20

Normalize saying “I don’t know enough to have an opinion.”

I would put it differently: “I don’t know enough for my opinion to matter,” or “I don’t know enough for my opinion to have any weight.” 

I’m not sure it’s possible to have no opinion, especially if the issue will affect you in some way. And sooner or later, whether it’s the economy or civil rights or foreign relationships, everything will.

Maybe if people felt like their right to have an opinion wasn’t being attacked, they’d be more likely to prioritize better informed people’s opinions...?

I have ADHD so I’m immune to podcast

stealing this from @chefpyro 's tags cause same

always thought that it was crazy other folks with adhd couldn't focus on podcasts when i was totally immune from that issue then quarantine happened, i stopped driving long distances every day, and you will never fucking believe what I learned I can't do

It never occured to me that some listen to podcasts while doing nothing else....

Omg, what? Podcasts are for listening to at 3x speed, on the setting where it cuts out silence, while commuting or exercising or doing housework.

Who the fuck can listen to them without doing anything else???

I grew up drawing during lectures in school, so now when I want to draw I need to listen to at least vaguely informative audio of people talking. Anything else and my mind will distract me from drawing. When I'm not drawing or doing another similarly hand focused nonlinguistic activity however, I'm unable to stay focused on a podcast. It's definitely a situation where I need both for optimal brain stimulation.

Autistic Tip #5

Executive dysfunction can make it feel impossible to be productive, even when you need to be. Especially during the pandemic, when we’re stuck at home without our usual routine, this is a big issue. Here’s some things that help me work through my executive dysfunction:

Note: These tips might not work for you! If you don’t feel comfortable doing some of these things, don’t feel pressured to! I have memory issues along with my autism so I need a highly structured life to be productive. You may not need as much structure as me!

Write down events and to dos.

Suggested methods:

1) Write events down on a calendar.

Write everything you need to do on a calendar. Meetings, classes, family events, work, etc. You want to have this information in multiple places. For example, I use my phone’s calendar, which is synced to my laptop’s calendar. I also have a sticker on my wall that’s a weekly calendar, so I can focus on the things I need to do for the week!

Check off events as they pass and look at all the functions you attended! Be proud of yourself for not missing things!

2) Have a daily and weekly to do list.

These are lists of things you have to do every day and every week. This will mostly consist of chores, self care, pet care, and meals. It’s your choice what is a daily thing and what is a weekly thing. Put absolutely everything down, no matter how small!

It’s a good idea to hang these lists somewhere you can easily see them. As you do the tasks on the lists, you can check them off (I use sticky notes so I don’t ruin the list, since mine is paper.) You can use a whiteboard for this if you want!

As you check things off, you’ll notice just how much you actually get done and how fast you do it! That alone can make it easier to keep doing tasks so you can see that list filled up with checks! You can even reward yourself once your daily to do is done!

3) Make another daily to do list.

Alright, this one is different from #2. This list is a list of electives to do in a day.

I use this mostly for my college assignments. I pick 3-5 assignments (usually small ones) to do that day, but are not due that day. (I try to stay ahead so I can keep my lists as electives, since close due dates can make executive function worse.) Make sure to make this list the day that you’ll be doing the tasks. Planning in advance can make it harder to actually do them. You want to catch your own brain off guard here!

Again, as you complete things, check them off! The point of this list is to feel super good! You’re doing things ahead of time! Look at how productive that is!

Alternate between work and fun

Suggested methods:

1) Listen to/Watch a video while you work.

This is best for when you’re doing tasks that don’t require too much thinking, like chores or cooking. You can watch a YouTube video, watch TV, listen to a podcast, or something else while you do the things you need to get done.

This makes it 100x easier for me to do chores! Yeah, I might be folding laundry, which is long and boring, but I’m also watching an episode of my favorite show! Or a video on my current special interest! As far as my brain is concerned, I’m relaxing, not working.

2) Work, Relax, Repeat.

For things that require more thought, you can use this method. Pick an item on your to do list and do it. Or, if it’s too long for you to bring yourself to do, do a part of it. Need to type a paper but you can’t even get out of bed? Just move to your desk or grab your laptop and move on to the next step.

Now, pick something you enjoy doing, but be conscious of what it is. Don’t pick something you can easily get stuck on, like reading or social media. Pick something that has clear start and end points, like one battle in pokemon, or one episode of a show.

Then, go and do another task. After that, do something else you enjoy. And repeat again and again until you’re done for the day! This switching can get time consuming, but it’s so much better than not being able to do anything at all!

Know when to take a break

Take as many breaks during the day as you need to! Take an entire day off to relax if you feel you need it! Don’t burn yourself out by trying to brute force through everything. In the long run, this will make it harder for you to be productive.

Be mindful of health conditions

Suggestions:

1) If you feel unwell, lower your work load

Regardless of how busy you are, if you feel sick, don’t push yourself! Listen to your body. If it’s telling you you’re done for the day, you’re done. It’s not the end of the world if you miss something for your health. And don’t feel guilty about it either. Your well being is more important than a chore or assignment.

2) If you’re physically incapable of something, don’t try to do it

I’ll use myself as an example for this one. I have double-jointed wrists that get strained easily, so I can’t type a lot despite being a college student. So, I can only spend so much time on assignments in a day.

The first week of quarantine, I worked on my laptop twice as much as usual (among other things) and I got an overuse injury. I couldn’t even use my phone, much less my laptop for four (4) days. That was a lot of missed time.

TLDR: you might think you’re being more productive short term by pushing your limits, but in a few days there’ll be consequences. Please don’t hurt yourself.

Anyone with executive dysfunction can reblog!

Autistic people are not being rude for prioritising their own needs over what could be an overloading social situation

That autistic feel when your feet are cold but having socks on under the covers is sensory hell!

I grew up hearing the phrase “you never stick with anything, what’s the point” a lot. I’ve always been attracted towards seemingly disconnected interests, and gone through phases of being really into something. But eventually my interest would fade and I would move onto something else. 

Or at least that’s always how it’s been phrased for me, by others. Now I realize that my interest for the old thing didn’t fade so much as my interest for something new outshined it, and that’s vastly different. 

I was always made to feel bad about it, with every abandoned endeavour I was told I needed to stop starting things if I wasn’t going to stick with them. I was told I was wasting time and money picking up these random interests and abandoning them after a year. 

So eventually, I stopped picking things up. I told myself “what’s the point, I’m going to give up in a year anyway”. Even worse, I started dismissing every new interest, because I had no way of knowing if my interest was “real” enough or just another passing phase. I stopped trying new things, I stopped looking up stuff that piqued my curiosity, and having chronic depression made it really easy to leave everything on the dirty floor of neglected ideas. The more they piled up, the more depressing it was. All these things that could be nice, but I just can’t take care of them. 

I realize now how bullshit that kind of thinking is. So what if I stopped doing karate after a year? That’s one more year of karate than most people I know. And in that year I learned discipline, I learned to listen to a teacher, something I had never done before in all my years of private education. I learned the true meaning of respect, that it’s something you do out of faith at first and maintain as it’s reciprocated, not something you do blindly and regardless of how you’re treated. 

It gave me the foundation for the determination and grounding I needed to practice yoga. Another year. Not enough to be good at it maybe, but again a year more than most people I know and a year that is not lost, but gained. I learned balance, I learned to listen to my body, I learned how to let go of emotional tightness through physical stretching. 

And then iaido, only a few weeks because I couldn’t afford to keep going. The year of yoga I had done a couple years previous had given me a better starting point than the other newcomers to the class. I already had balance, I had strength in my legs and I had better posture. In those months I learned the importance of precision, the true definition of efficacy, the zen state that is incessant repetition. 

Did I practice long enough to get good at iaido, and yoga, and karate? No. Of course not. It takes years to become proficient and decades to master any of those things, but I learned other skills and those skills were an invaluable part of my growth both spiritually and emotionally. Likewise for my forays into painting, sewing, graphic design, film. I’m a photography student now heading into my second year of school, and every single second of practice I have in those other disciplines has given me more experience in those areas and made learning easier. 

Skills carry over. They intersect and connect in ways that are sometimes unexpected. Nothing is ever lost, experience is never a waste of time or worthless or stupid. Allow your focus to wander, reflect on what you learn, and consider how you can keep using it in other aspects of your life. Stop telling people their interests aren’t worth their time. 

‘A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one’

^^^^The real jack of all trades quote if anyone’s i interested.

For a week I was super into making LED arrays. 

For a few months I was really into costume makeup. 

For a year I was into sewing clothes

For a few months I was into sculpting and molding and casting

I’ve always had a sustained interest in animals, but the hyperfocus on birds in particular made me very familiar with feather formations. 

Couple months I loved the idea of engineering moving sculptures. 

Add all that together, and hot diggity shit, that’s some SOLID basework for making costumes, cosplay, and other impressive props.

—–

For a week I was into welding and took a welding class.

A year of interest in woodworking and fiddling with the tools means I’m fairly good at that as well. 

Add that to the engineering from earlier and the focus on balance and stable structures means I can make my own furniture - Couches, shelves, desks, just give me the material and tools and I can make it happen. 

—

Brief interest in business law meant two classes taken in college, and an accidental qualification for a business degree. 

Those same classes let me point out some serious litigation bait in a friend’s startup company. 

—-

A wide array of interests means I also have a TON of little nitpicky facts about how the world works, which translates into amazing immersive writing. 

I know how it feels to use a chisel, and the delicate precision of electronics. I know the smell of forests and barns and old yarn being put to use again. The bloody smell of a freshly slaughtered chicken, and the anticipatory fear moments before skydiving. 

The pattern of a bad weld and a good one, and the careful calculation of load bearing walls when building underground.  Anyway, this world is HUGE and really cool. Why on earth would I want to stick to learning ONE thing, when there’s HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of things I could learn?

For anybody still struggling with this, I highly recommend this book:

Sorry for reblogging my own post (again), but this is another awesome addition to it, and there have been several people commenting who have also read this book or went out to get it at @primarybufferpanel‘s suggestion and are loving it. 

And for all of you saying “I needed this post”, check the comments! There are some really beautiful replies and encouraging stories that people have shared. 

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo

my policy for “they’re just doing it for attention” has always been and always will be “then someone needs to pay attention to them”

I’ve always thought this

Let me tell you about the time I worked as a computer teacher for a small private school. My first day went well, but in the staff room that day I was told I was lucky that this one kid was out sick. No one could control him.

Next week, he was in. It took me 10 minutes to determine that I was dealing with a 10 year old kid who was incredibly intelligent, more than a little bored, and loved being the center of attention.

He was also black. I say this because I think that a intelligent, somewhat bored, attention-seeking white kid might have been treated differently.

So, day one I made him sit by himself where no one could see him to stop him from taking over the class (which he was clearly used to doing).

Day two: I paid close attention to when he finished (not surprising, he was first and did everything correctly). I immediately told him he was helping me, and paired him with a struggling student.

My hunch was right; he made a excellent teacher. He thrived on having this other kid’s attention. He wasn’t bored. He was one of my best students.

He was a bright kid. And he needed people to pay attention to him and would settle for any kind of attention he could get. But when he was able to channel that positively, he was a great student and a really helpful classmate.

IMPORTANT POINT HERE

Please read this!

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@deadcatwithaflamethrower don’t know if you’ve seen this yet but looks interesting and helpful

if you’ve been trained to to dislike yourself for enjoying anything due to years of being told you’re annoying clap your hands 👏👏👏

if I listed out every particular instance that was met with negativity enough for me to stop feeling comfortable talking about it, this comic would be like 50 panels.

[ more comics | Patreon | Tapastic ]

Okay so this is so important. Please don’t ignore this post if you think it doesn’t apply to you, because even if it doesn’t, it could be happening to someone you care about. And it may seem like nothing, it feels like it’s nothing for a while but after hearing people say just how boring or dumb something you love is… well, you start to believe it. Before you realise it you find yourself not finishing stories or sentences because there’s a voice in your head saying “shut up, no one cares” and just like that those things you used to love so much lose their spark. They no longer make you as happy as before, everything is tainted and you hate yourself for not fitting in, for not being as interesting as everyone else. Because if everyone says you aren’t then they must be right? But no! It’s not true and you tell yourself that everytime, but it’s not enough. You have to learn to love the things you used to love again.

In my case, I’ve missed out on so many experiences because of this. I had given up trying to make people see the things I like aren’t a waste of time. But I’m slowly trying to claim them back.

So please, if someone you know ever tells you something about them or about what they like please listen to them. Even if you don’t really enjoy the thing they are telling you about, if they matter to you please listen. That simple action could mean the whole world to them.

this is kinda painful tbh

Also, speaking as an autistic dude rebloggin from another autistic dude, this treatment/feeling is so much a part of the autistic experience it ain’t even funny.

Which does say something about inbaked societal ableism that I can’t quite articulate…

This hit me hard

Advice like “listen to your body” sounds great. Like, it sounds like the best approach to living life.

But my body only has two settings: BAD and fine

So, it’s like…

My body: BAD FEEL BAD IT’S BAD

Me: What’s bad? Am I hungry? Thirsty? Should I be wearing my glasses? Is my tummy upset? Am I hormonal? Is my anxiety acting up? Am I sick?

My body: BAAAAAAAAAAD

Me: Okay, I guess it’s time to grab a snack, a bottle of water, my glasses, some rennies, and remember to restock my vitamins. And then hope one of those things works…

I always just thought that’s what it meant? Like it just meant ‘don’t ignore the BAD signal even though society places unreasonable expectations on you and it’s tempting to push through and hurt yourself to avoid social consequences. don’t do that. stop and try to figure out what you need and how to take care of yourself’

I mean, it can mean that, but sometimes it’s more specific. Like, it’s common when talking about food and stuff to mean “what’s good for you is what your body tells you it needs”.

Which, fair, if I have specific cravings. But I’m also really bad at telling if I’m hungry at all, so I either just snack constantly out of habit, or I get rid of three bad food habits and suddenly I’m only getting 600 calories a day…

ah I hadn’t heard it that way, can allistic people really tell that stuff? I always get more specifically food advice like ‘eat more vegetables’ or various fad diet things that are wrong and scary. So I figured everyone just guessed and followed blindly.

The “listen to your body” is the response to the bad and wrong fad advice.

Like, “if you feel like fatty foods, your body probably needs something in them”.

Which, again, I get killer fish cravings a lot (given my joint problems, I probs need the oil) but it’s not helpful 90% of the time because 90% of the time, I’m not even sure I’m hungry.

I know someone who's at the opposite extreme of this, and is very aware of specific things their body needs nutritionally, byond just the vagueness of what a craving for a specific food can do. It's impressive and I'm jealous.