Happy birthday to AO3 🎂🎉

give it up for another 70 years of goo

when your friend says love you at the end of the call

sometimes language families fuck me up a bit. like hi we used to sit around the same fire and we saw the same birds flying south and our children climbed in the same trees but then we parted ways and now we might not understand each other at all but maybe we can still recognize each others words for the moon.

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”

If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.

So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”

Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.

See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.

you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.

You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

[ID: tags: "#that wasn't a lie though the big ball did go night night #it went to the great night night that awaits us all" /end ID]

Sometimes we have kids read nonsense words to practice their knowledge of letter sounds and how they interact without them attaching meaning to it. These are some good ones I came across today

This is the torkest take, for real

If I don't see people using the word "Chorkless" I haven't done my job

Reblogging because I can see "chorkless" welding itself into my vocabulary

having viral posts is all fun and games until you have clowns in your mentions being like "well, op, i bet you also didn't know THIS" [haughtily explains something i absolutely would and do know] like add whatever to my posts that you think is informative just don't direct it at ME! i know! i just didn't include it in the post i made in 20 seconds because i didn't think 30,000 of you would see it!

i love these tags. WHAT was your viral post i need to know so badly.

some of our collective suffering

people always talk about evil clones like oooh a dark mirror oohh what if you saw what are cruel person you were/are capable of becoming. and well yes but what if you were the evil clone. what if you looked in the mirror and what you saw was so bright it blinded you. what if you had to know exactly how good you could have been.

laughed out loud

no “carrd.” you learn things about me based on what you can piece together from the vague details of my life I disclose in rare moments of vulnerability

oh u can have this post i don’t want it

Gee, thanks mista! Oi Avent had a post to me own since and mum n pop died of influenza! I'll be certain to cherish it as if it were me little brutha who died from influenza also

Woss-all this then? You cheeky li’uhl buggah, wheh’d you get that post? Didn’t I tell you wha’ ‘appens to li’uhl boys that steal posts, hm? If your dear old mum knew she’d catch influenza with shame.

Oh no, Officer! I know ‘im, and ‘e’s a good lad; ‘e ‘elped me find daddy when I was lost in th market! I’m sure my father would be happy to let me pay for th’ post! Father is just around the corner getting influenza

'Ere offisah, dahn't truss that littuw giwl, orrite? She's the one wot stole foive bob from me larse week she did, when i was recovering in St. Urchin's 'Ome For Those With Influenza. And I sorer shewwin 'er ankles to some poor gent dahn the pub yesserday arfernoon while 'er ol' dad stole the poor bugger's influenza roight aht the man's pokkit. She's a baddun orrite. Fling 'er dahn the nick.

if i knew they were gonna make my post british i never would’ve gave it away

when ur mutuals are mutual with each other 

pro: squad con: i saw this post like 18 times today

Sometimes everyone in the gimmickverse decides to reblog one post and literally I can’t see anything other than that post

Wait now I’m seeing this outside of the gimmickverse

Lemme just.

wait no

why would you do this to everyone France

Why me?? Bavaria queued this about a billion times 😭

and I’m about to queue it a bajilion times :D

WHAT NO

heheheh I already did it you can’t stop me

… Bad China ToT

Just for that I’m adding 20 more to my queue

hello everyone seeing this post I hope you’re ready to see it several times more

What the sneef? I'm snorfin' here!

Hey? You doin alright @ghost--bot ??

hey guys guess what

why am i still seeing this from you

queue 🥰

how many are in there!?

hehe

Men invented dueling so they could shoot hot loads into eachother

Please Lord not this post