My step-sis and her fiance asked me to summarize my favorite ships as quickly as possible. The following is the result.
Parapines: 2spooky gay bffs getting possessed by the scariest crap ever
Weinerham: gay bff-ers with the size difference and blood and swords somehow involved
Caskett: writer making out with fictional cop lady character from his books
Moreid: choco-muscle playboy and his perfect baby genius twink (that sounds exactly how garcia would say it, ha)
Ectofeature: spectrophilic, pedophilic, homoerotic, semi-incestuous bromance, don't forget the pb
Kawoshin: 100% painful, no matter how you look at it, don't ship this, i'm begging you, spare yourself
Hijack: time-traveling prick nipping dragon-rider nose and probably butt, too, no, definitely butt, screw the nose, it's all sex, nothing but gay buttsex in viking times with lots of freckles and missing limbs and ice powers, yes
Oncest: oh, gawd, country bumpkin and millionaire playboy, both have stupidly long legs, rutting like deer at all hours
Creamy Gears: 2 gays and a robot, nothing but sex and steam, lots of steam
Timecest: oedipus complex gone gay, add some time-travel
Swonter: when you put an emo, a cannibal, and a narcissistic buttmunch in a box, that's what happens, mostly buttsex
Swonag: PLANT MAN AND ROBOT SCREW-BUDDIES, perfect AUs, screw the original crap (i love you, onag!)
Seddie: masochistic sexy times, aw yiss
Johnkat: gay boyfriend leaders with stupid faces and perfect tentacle sexy times, hell yes
Marball: bubblegum blowjobs, and BLOOD, LOTS OF BLOOD, and then more sex
Peanut Butter Pumpkin: candy-coated racers with a thirst for BUTTSEX AND BLOOD, BOTH EQUALLY
Corney: hell, idk, 4 parts stupid, 8 parts MUSIC OF AWESOME, 20 parts hating the world, and the rest is unrequited crap and butt-rainbows
Phinbella: VIRGIN CUTIES, PERFECT GINGER AND CUTENESS ON LOVELY LEGS EQUALS HEARTS