Thinking again SO hard about Illyana's relationship to herself and the 'snowflake' v. 'sorceress' dichotomy that makes up all of her self-loathing...

It scares her so much that the girl she was might forgive the girl she is.

And Piotr wants to try but feels like he’s constantly afraid of upsetting her and of course it’s that exact ‘walking-on-eggshells’ demeanor he has that makes her so upset and insecure.

Panels above are from Vita Ayala's New Mutants: The Labors of Magik.

this reminds me of the end of AvX. illyana’s post-resurrection writing… could’ve used another round of editing. but one part i always loved was how, after piotr finds out she tricked him into becoming juggernaut, illyana tells him “there are no snowflakes in hell.”

when piotr says she’s insane, illyana is happy about it. she’s glad he finally understands. she viewed herself as a monster and hated that piotr didn’t, that he only saw who she was. which has a few different layers, in my opinion part of it is that piotr seemed to ignore her trauma and pretend it didn’t happen, but it’s also because illyana doesn’t feel she’s worthy of that love or being thought well of.

EXCELLENT addition!

Illyana's core relationships with Piotr and Kitty (and the X-Men at large, but those are the two big ones) are so centered on that push-pull of her self-loathing.

Of course, that's what makes her relationship with Kitty so strong and anchoring to her: Kate never once expects her to be anything or anyone—she's just here for the person that Illyana is.

(Yes, it's New Mutants #14 in the Illyana/Katyana analysis post—mark it off your bingo cards)

But even then, Illyana struggles to get over this idea that she's somehow broken, and that the best possible ending for her is one in which she never becomes the person that she is (which is sort of perversely confirmed in the end of Inferno and I have Frustrations with that).

Piotr's been better about it these days, but I think it's still so telling that he needs to be actively reminded by his 'snowflake' that Illyana is still right there. It's the same girl. It's still her.

(I'm reminded of the scene from Capaldi's first episode of Doctor Who when Clara and 11 speak over the phone—speaking of scenes that mess me up)

He's trying! But he's flawed, and it makes things strained for them. That's compelling! That's the spice. Love it.

I like how the logic behind this just... isn't ever followed up on?

Oh, yeah, Pryde is primarily a science-based character, not a magical one, but Illyana lends her magical artifacts sometimes.

Why? Because they're... best friends and roommates, I guess.

It's not just her sword and amulet that goes to Kitty--all of her magic (i.e. her entire soul) goes to her too, whenever she dies, or whenever she's significantly compromised as an individual such as in the Beyonder stripping her of her magic. Excalibur vol 1 goes into that aspect in more depth, during the Cross-Time Caper, where it's shown visually during an exam. New Mutants Special and X-Men Annual #9 touch on why this is without spelling it out directly (because comics code), but it's related to Kitty being Illyana's soulmate and her soul instinctively recognizing Illyana as part of herself.

so do we get really emotional over how much Illyana has grown, or do we think it’s just her wearing massive shoes so she isn’t baby

Marvel what do I have to do for you to give me a new mutants game

I would give anything for a New Mutants Dynasty Warriors game starring Dani Moonstar, with all of the Academy X kids as her troops

X-Factor #9 / New Mutants #18

Why do I feel like Mystique may have to get in line with it comes time for a reckoning for Charles Xavier? 

That was actually the only part that seemed just a little off to me, because doesn’t it seem like Magik herself has a lot of recourse that others lack? If the New Mutants needed more, she has a really high ranking position in Charles’ government, and she’s got a personal relationship with Erik to fall back on.

New Mutants 16 & 17

Well, looks like Kitty’s in a pile.

Emma claims to have already brainwashed her.  And she has put psychic inhibitors in Kitty’s brain that “deny you the use of your phasing ability” and “effectively paralyze you as well.”  Nice.

Keep reading

I happen to like Emma a lot as one of the X-Men, but this is one of the two arcs (the other being the body theft in Uncanny) that I always think about when wondering if Generation X should be treated as Emma’s first canon appearance. And then just be very selective with how much detail to keep from earlier stories, like this New Mutants run. It’s happened before with other long running characters who have grown too far out of their original role. Like is usually done with Rogue, for an example. Rogue’s tenure as an Avengers villain is only vaguely alluded to most of the time, because otherwise it’d be too hard to actually use her as one of the heroes. 

Otherwise Emma’s past is all very hard to get over, in any context, no matter what she's done since. I think it’s fine that Jean and Kitty happen to have made a personal choice to forgive her (just as Ororo and Dani arguably haven’t to this day, which is also reasonable) but that’s just between them. If this is still canon it’s a little hard to accept that she was even invited to teach at the school, let alone three times, regardless of how much she’s changed since those days

For your anon’s question,

Dani Moonstar, after witnessing Illyana losing control of her magic and her familiars:

Dani Moonstar and Illyana Rasputina, after Dani’s mirages produce an image of Darkchylde:

Sam Guthrie and Dani Moonstar, as the New Mutants confront Illyana on her knowledge of black magic:

Their first real adventure together was the Hellfire Club arc that ran alongside the Secret Wars, in issues 15 - 17 of the original New Mutants series. Dani doesn’t really understand Illyana’s sorcery, but she isn’t inherently hostile to it. She can, after all, see your hopes and your fears, and has made her own judgments on Illyana as a classmate. And contrary to some of her modern depictions, Illyana, I cannot stress enough, is not evil or a bad person.

She did not choose to make a bargain with devils, she was forced to do so. When she calls herself evil and damned, these are not true or objective statements of fact. She’s an abuse victim who believes the worst of herself, and self-depreciates.

Throughout this arc, and the original volume of New Mutants,Dani defends Illyana to their teammates, is comforting when Illyana doubts herself, and encourages Illyana to explore what she’s capable of as a mutant and a classmate, and not just as the team’s shady demon sorceress.

It’s Dani’s trust in her that encourages Illyana to start using her mutation as more than just a desperate last resort. And Illyana reciprocates the trust and affection Dani shows her, always allowing that Dani’s doing her best when things don’t work out, and encouraging her not to give up when she doubts herself.