- @jistring

PUT YOUR HAND IN THAT CRACK

AND YOU WONT GET IT BACK

WHEEEEN THE JAWS OPEN WIDE

AND THERE’S MORE JAWS INSIDE

WHEN IT SWIMS ON A REEF

AND HAS TWO SETS OF TEETH

WHEN IT JUMPS FROM THE MUCK

AND YOU SCREAM “WHAT THE FUCK!?”

@fluidpuck SHOW MORAY

Nintendo: We must ask you to wait a little longer than we thought.

Me:

this episode of mythbusters started with an apology holy shit

Oh the cannonball ain’t nothin compared to the esparto incident.

The what now

They were testing the phrase “knock your socks off” and because its the mythbusters build team (which consists of 3 boom addicted gremlins) they decided to go to a quarry near Esparto california to test the myth by blowing shit up. This time they got 500 pounds of ANFO. The detonation was pretty damn big.

They started getting phone calls, turns out they and the experts underestimated the size of the kaboom, reports of broken windows, car alarms going off, people getting knocked out of their seats, hell one news station reported that they leveled the town.

According to grant, that’s why they can no longer go back to esparto.

LMFAO nobody can rival the power of the mythbusters

I’ve seen people talk about how adam and jamie are the polar opposite in energies but the build team operated on the same wavelength 90% of the time and that wavelength was “kaboom.”

an important lesson about making mistakes:

you can still get a cookie

How does a robot eat a cookie?

I think you misunderstand mailbot’s intentions

THIS IS SO CUTE

HE IS BABY

The number 24 is considered “gay” in Brazil, so straight men will have candles like this for their 24th birthdays…

It stems from what now is illegal gambling.

The “jogo do bicho”(animal game) started back in 1892 by baron João Batista Viana Drummond, founder of the Rio de Janeiro’s Zoo, as a way of keeping it from closing it’s doors. Then, the visitors would buy the ticket and get one of 25 animals, and, by the end of the day, if you had the animal that was drawn, you could get up to 20x what you paid for the ticket. Nowadays we have bicheiros(people who work with the bettings) all around town who organize everything.

The thing that makes the number 24 gay for us is that the corresponding animal is the deer, and, in portuguese, deer sounds like a slur for homosexual men. Veado means deer, while viado comes from transviado, which could be translated as perverted(from God’s way). This term was taken back by the LGBT+ community but can still be used in a pejorative way.

This is such a reach are straight men ok

When you turn the number of years old that’s the same as the corresponding identification number in a currently illegal gambling game for an animal who’s name sounds sort of like perverted so you have to create a candle with a mathematical expression on it to mask that you are that many years old

Well anos actually means assholes and años means years so that candle technically says “23+1 assholes”

Our DM: What’d you get? Me, having just rolled a 1: I got depression, Todd.

Pokémon Detective Pikachu (2019)

Pokemon Anime since day fuckin one

Titles. They’re the worst.

You know what the solution is? Use a Hozier lyric. Too much work? I made a generator that will summon one for you.

It works surprisingly well as a prompt generator, as well.

PLEASE USE THIS IT IS SO GOOD

snowlady’s done it again :DDDDDD

SOMEONE HAS COME FOR ME IN MY HOUR OF NEED

idk who needs to hear this but “depressing quotes” blogs and stuff like this may express how you’re feeling but seeing a constant stream of negativity and romanticised sadness is only going to make you feel worse. Even if you only unfollow one blog and follow a puppy blog instead, you’ll feel a little better

There is a fine line between acknowledging and accepting your feelings, and dwelling and living in them.

Read more here:

Friendly reminder that GIMP does pretty much everything Photoshop does, and it’s 100% free. Fuck DRM and the license culture, we have plenty of open source options available to us as a consumer.

If Adobe is going to be greedy shitheads, then fuck ‘em. Don’t use their stuff. Freeware can be just as good, if not better, than Adobe CC.

I'm gonna finally reveal my fetish

It’s love

Mike you’re into piss and we all know it

mike: cancer, pisces, aquarius, scorpio, gemini, sagittarius 

jiqqler: aries, leo, taurus, capricorn, virgo, libra

he’s a scorpio and I’m a capricorn so I fully sign off on this judgement

I THOUGHT YOU ASKED FOR MY BIRTHDAY SO YOU COULD GET ME A GIFT GOD DAMN IT

top 10 anime betrayals

i am a bright and colourful piñata and god is a 13 year old birthday boy whose parents have just announced their divorce.

this reads like a john mulaney bit

my pockets jingle with stolen buttons from hot topic

i literally cant stop stealing those buttons from the Button Vats like i dont feel like paying 3 dollars for a piece of tin with pusheen on it but i do feel like doing a heist

call the cops bitch ill have sex with them

Nott?